MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this youcall a smile?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, youdidn't write."
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz offthe ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! ; Take your handout of your jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap likethe other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done somethingwith your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the lastforty years?"
BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!"
