( i wrote this one about 3 yrs ago )
Scared to Love, Yet Scared to be Alone!!
Day after day I sit alone at night thinking about all the things I had never said and all the things I shouldn‘t have said. I try to tell myself never look back, the future is all that matters but somehow the past still haunts me. I try to convince myself that I dont love you anymore but then I wonder if I didnt love you then why do I still have a problem moving on, maybe its because I dont want to feel the pain of heartache again or maybe its that im scared I might actually fall in love again.
I was strong had built this comfort zone around myself that no one could reach until I had met you and I let those walls fall to let you in my heart. You had became my weakness and I couldnt stand the fact you had so much control over me and I cant stand the fact that I let you get to me in that way.
People tell me not to let you know how much you hurt me because it shows I had a weakness for you and that you would one day use that against me..but I say they are wrong! After all I am only human I will get thru this without you..and I will be strong again!! And when that day comes, you‘ll realize what you had takin for granted.
So many times you have hurt me and left me and I had let you back in because I wasnt strong enuff to turn you away..but pain heals in time.. and with time i will be strong.
***Ladies, never let a man bring you down..if he cheats he doesnt love you..no matter how many times he begs you to stay or pretends to cry..if he really loved you he wouldnt have thought about cheating. There IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING. If he cant put you b4 himself and love you the way you love him then he isnt worth having. Love is a prison when you are in love alone. Love is both giving and taking.. you cant love enuff for him and you both..if he isnt giving what you are giving then let it go.!
