I have been faced with a lot of life and love decisions as of late. My head and my heart weighed down by controversy, uncertainty, fear, not wanting to settle. I suppose this is normal.
I have been reaching into the deepest part of me, trying to find my way in this craziness. There have been many winding turns. Some not so easy.
A few things I'm sure of, a few I'm not. But one thing is for sure, I know that I'm seeing that beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. A far eastern light that has been warming the very soul that has troubled me for so long.
I need to get out of this tunnel, so I'm going to let that light in. I'm going to relish in it's warmth. I'm going to turn on my heart for the good of me for a change.
My obligations to myself will remain true. I am not changing, just growing again. There will be some heartache. This I know. I don't wish to cause any, but it is inevitable. I can't avoid that and I am deeply sorry. I don't want to create pain, but, this too, is inevitable. I pray that it fades quickly.
I feel good about this. Not about the pain, but getting out of this damn tunnel. I wish all involved nothing but loving thoughts. I won't forget you. I will always love my friends.
It's late. I'm going to dream now. Dream of my light.