It sucks having to count down the days till I will be in his arms again I miss him so bad an cannot wait till he is out!! I love the way he brushes my hair back an kisses my forehead an my eyelids an calls me beautiful. I love every touch from his fingertips an the adventure he gives me there's never a dull moment when we are together! I love that he has taken the fall for me so many times an that my name is tattooed on his arm. I love that he loves me unconditionally an knows all my secret spots an knows when I need him to kiss the pain away. I love that he shares everything he has with me even when I'm bein a mean hateful bitch he still gives into me even if I don't deserve it. I love that at night he holds me close an says he loves me even tho he doesn't realize he is doing it. I love that in the morning when he gets up an I am still asleep he gets out of bed quiet so he doesn't wake me. I love when we drive down the road an he puts his hand on my leg or holds my hand. It's amazing that thru all the ups an downs we have had an times an spaces apart we always in up back together. I hope I meet him in my dreams tonight an we have an adventure. I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I do him no matter how far apart or how many times we breakup he's always gonna be the one an I'm always gonna be the one. Something in the universe always brings us back together it's crazy how it works but it always does. I love you baby an hope you dream of me <3
Things have been going well lately been getting alot of time in with my family which I love with my whole heart, yet I am still so bored and lonely I love them all but they have no idea what I am going thru nor do I want them to know. Still I want to be close to them an alone at the same time I feel so insane I hate that i feel this way I just wanna stop thinkin for while but no matter what I do my mind is always runnin takin me places I don't wanna go . I just don't know what to do or say or how to feel better alone. I just wish things were so much easier but they never get easier or clearer grrr.
I left him yesterday and I know that I did the right thing. I can't handle the crazy fights. But why does it feel like part of me is lost at sea floating away and I can't swim to it. I wanna cry but I'm just to tired I wanna sleep but I'm all outa pills. I wanna be anywhere in the world as long as it's just him and I. But we can't hide away from the world forever. I wonder what he's doing I wonder if he's thinking of me does he feel just as empty? We break up and make up all the time but never like this there's something in me that makes me feel like this times different. I just want to be in his arms but the only time I'm happy is when we are high and I'm tired of being high. I just feel so blah I wanna be happy but don't know if I can or if I deserve it. I'm not sure if I'm capable of being happy. I don't know who I am with him I've always just been his soul mate now it feels like I don't have a soul.