In words left unspoken i lay awake
In this lifeless solitude of what my world has become
I find strength in the bonds that hold me to you
I may not say it in so many words
But you give me strength of whats to come
Courage to fight yet another day
I know that it gets better
Shades of black and white with hints of grey
You bring the fiery passion
That is soo hard to escape
I find wisdom in each line you write
Words coming like crazy at each passing time
Moments of silence don't scare me as often
Cause in those vast moments are the times i see you best
I see you for you and not the scar that you carry
A heavy burden on your heart
Painted with sorrow and such disillusion
I give you hope and a possible conclusion
With this I take in my hand so small
That i hold your great fate
Never in hatred nor in Violence
I somehow find Strength in your Silence
It rang so true it rang so right
How can I stay when I know that it will only lead to a fight
I loved you more then words that are unknown
You threw them back like I was a stone
Cast me a spell Cast it on tonight
I wish on star with all my might
That I can be the one your dreaming of
That I can be the sun, the moon the stars up above
I was your something now im somones everything
How does it feel knowing you did me wrong
How does it feel when you hear our song
Does it bring you sad sorrow or smile to your face
You should know dear that I am in a happy place
Filled full of laughter and a warm embrace
I will not be your play toy
Because i have man
and your just a boy
Just a boy with no feelings
No remourse
Ill Tell you this now and tell you it so
That I done and Its time to go
Kiss what we had a finall goodbye
Cause u will never once again
No you will never once again
Make me cry
I am better then that I know that I am
Give me more credit then the fool that I play
I was playing you with my not so childish game
Who is the one hurting who is the one in pain
Tis now I thats right because your still the same
So while im lapping you in the circle called life
You can sit there foundly and wish that I was your wife
Wish that I was in your arms again so true
But I will only laugh and call you the stupid fool
Black as day
black as night
I ponder away
At loves sight
I know in my heart
That things are yet to come
But I can't see you
I don't know where to run
I hear your voice
It haunts my soul
Like a thousand deamons
All trying to escape
I can't speak
I can only relate
Ten thousand needles
That poke at my side
Daggers and Swords
That cut at my heart
Black as Day
Black As Night
I can't not move
I have no sight
I can not feel
Without my words
I have no fight
I lay there still
Not wanting to move
Taking my last breathe
Black as Day
Black As Night
The ending beats
Of my hearts last fight
I sit idly on the other side of the screen
Wishing you would say something
Anything
I don't know if I can take it
I dont know if I can try
I wonder what your thinking long after we say goodbye
I try not to blink
I try not to care
But something keeps me here something keeps me still
I don't know what it is about you
And what it is that you have done
But the silence that I feel
Shakes me to life
But some how when I open my eyes
The words that aren't spoken stab me deeper then a knife
I know that Its just a silly little game you like to play
When you sit there Reading the words
That have been said
It makes me wanna scream
It makes me wanna shout
I can't take this solitude
I can't take this instant black
Say something
Anything
Let me know your there
I crawl back into the corner
I knew you never cared.
I stare blankly at the ceiling counting little dots
With each passing moment on the clock
As it Tick Toks Tick Toks
I can't help but think if there was something that I missed
Something that I over looked
I can understand the outcome
Because it was never meant to be
I can understand that your an asshole
Because that's all you will ever be
I can't say that I can forget but
I somehow still forgave you
They said I was stupid for thinking the way I think
They said that I should never let you have the benefit of the doubt
But someone how you got me back in the boat
Why didn't i leave the first time
I feel worse then I did before
How my walls have been built up
Cracks are not present in the foundation that is standing strong
But weakness in my character
Are now my one big flaw
I wasn't good enough then
So whats make it different now
Can I hold my head above the water
Or am I going to drown
Please of Please will someone catch me before its to late
Deep whispers in my ear
Saying it will be okay
I still don't think I'm Good Enough
Maybe I never was
I spot you in the crowed room among the sea of a million people
I can't help but notice how you pull me to you
How my heart flutters just when I catch you eye
My feet start to move towards you in a motion
I feel like im floating how can this be
Suddenly im in the midst of your embrace
Waves of chills float from head to toe
I'm at the mercy of your desire
I will do whatever you want
I can feel my walls breaking with each passing moment
You undress me with you eyes with each deep glance
Burning deeper into my soul
I start to lose all myself control
I give into the temptation
letting you have all of me
Each passing movement of your finger tips on my skin
Sends a billion tiny goosebumps that never end
Laying me down on the cold floor
You gaze into my eyes
Laying upon me I can feel each breath you take
Hearing my heart beat faster and faster
Taking your lips you press them to mine
Grasping your hands around my wrist
Holding me down in a perfect place
I taste you kiss, so sweet in deed
Suddenly Im being pulled back into place
Whats going on
I can't feel your embrace
I look up only to see
that your still standing
A million miles away from me
Grabbing earth head on for the moment I relize what I have done
I stop and look before grasping my loaded gun
The words circle beyond me in a sequence that i sounds all to fimiluar
One Two Three I hear it over and over again
One Two Three when will it end
One Two Three It drives me insane
One Two Three I would end it if I could
One Two Three Its like im not me
One Two Three How can I make it stop
This is the imprisonment of tortue that I face
Walking closer to the edge
taking strides in my pace
I hear them start again
Grasping the triger tighter in my cold hand
I feel my heart race
I think this is the end
My mind starts to wonder and in circles it goes again
One Two Three I suffer in slience
One Two Three Over and Over again
One Two Three I hear it often then not
One Two Three I scream STOP!!!!!
Grabbing my head in the palm of my hand
fingers grasping at my insides
feeling the pain as it starts to stream down my face
Cold wetness of salty tears i can taste onvmy tongue
I grab the cold barrel and point it up
***
*******
***********
******************
**************************BANG
No more slience at last
I'm Free
Why was the question i always asked and never got an answer for.
It was funny how one simple word could throw you into a tail spin.
How I could just look at you deep in your eyes in the middle of a conversation smile and just say WHY?
I was always the one who laughed at the silly things you said
The one who was so quick to stand by you no matter what you did.
I was the one who could just smile and make things better
While you were the one who lied to my face
Cheated behind my back
Stole the one thing that Till this day still has a hole in it.
Sadness grows quickly in the midst of anger that swells deep in the depths of my soul
But one word one word alone could change the conversation
Why?
I'd ask it a million times and a million times more
I would expect and easy answer but words would spew from you mouth in the form of poisonous venom
I often think back and see the error in your ways.
I often think back and see the hurt that you caused
Why?
Why can't i forget
I think that there was a reason a reason for this
I ask myself why
I stare in the mirror and look deep in side think back to the moment
and ask myself WHY?