i should be sleeping.
instead...im finding myself in...a mood.
yannow..one of those...cant quite put your finger on it...completely exhausted but it just takes to much energy to extract yourself from your current position...cuz while its not completely comfortable...it is what it is...and your mind is spinning in circles around a drain in which there is no plug so even if you tried you couldnt stop the flow...yet you're not exactly sure where said flow is coming from or even where its headed...so you sit...with those half open eyes staring out into the deep vast nothingness...and you'd throw something...if anything was close enough to be thrown...but the inanimate objects have inexplicably extracted themselves from anywhere near your vicinity...while at the same time wondering how its remotely possible that all these interesting people live inside this box and none of them seem to exist in reality...which also makes you wonder how real any of it is at all.
and yes..that was probably the longest run on sentence in history...but this is the way my mind works. or in this case...doesnt work.
cuz while im exhausted in a good way...i also know the moment i decide to move a sleeping toddler will decide now is a glorious time to awaken which will completely ruin any thoughts of quality time with Fred. (please refer to previous blog)
so im thinking yet desperately trying not to think at the same time...which is quite a fantastic feat...cuz anyone that knows me...knows...the day i stop thinking is the day the earth revolves not only in its opposite direction...but also when people start walking in the sky and the sun rises from the west....pigs fly backwards while eating hot dogs shaped like humans...etc..etc...etc.
meh.
wherever my good mood went...it needs to come back...with a quickness.