Ok maybe I am having a bad day,week,month year or something.....I'm just wanting to escape for even if a brief moment from my so-called crazy ass,screwed up,messed up life. I feel lost in a sea of misery that just doesn't seem to stop flowing. My pain is far more and deeper than anyone will ever know. I have had so much go on and it just never seems to stop. I can't seem to break away from this cycle of misery,destruction,let down,confusion....I am at a point of going crazy and almost feel like I am about to lose my mind. The need for escape is essential and much needed before terminal breakdown occurs. I know its coming but to stop it before it occurs must come quickly. My need for sanity is like breathing at this point I need to breathe but feel like I am being suffocated slowly. Sweet surrender would be quite painless but in the end more pain from somewhere else and far more essential to the point of no return. I try to take a step back and think of what I have done wrong to screw this up even far more than it possibly could be and its like I see nothing but darkness, a cloud of fog like nothing is there. My life less remembered or unseen. I can't seem to see through it all and much less remember where it all has gone. Am I losing my mind or just at a breaking point. Only time will tell and only time will decide my fate.
