Maybe I am just getting old but this new years just sucked. Yeah I was around some good freinds and there was a good band playing, but something just didnt feal right to me, dont ask me what it was cause I dont know, maybe cause I am 31 going to be 32 in a month and still live at home and have never had a real meaningful relationship with a girl, thought I had one but then things just went down hill and then some whem I lost my job, I mean I was reading to pop the question, had plenty of money saved up for everything but things just went down hill, I guess she wasnt the right one for me all though I still hold a place in my heart for her, I dont know maybe I am just stupid for that but whatever. I have tried to have relationships with others but it didnt work out, and others that I would really love to have something with dont seem to want anything from me or just want to be friends. think I am just going to give up on going with what my heart tells me to do and just be single the rest of my life. To put it plain and simple I think my life sucks but I know there are others out there that are worse off then me. well I could keep going on here but I am going to stop and try and go to bed and forget all about last year and try and make things better this year but knowing my luck it wont happen
