What is the meaning of life? hell i dont know and dont give a shit anymore
life sucks and shits on you and leaves you with nuthin
if you are reading this and are looking for anything profound and inteligent, sorry this is a general bitch and moan session
did you know that about 50% of people who call in to a calling center about their phones do NOT know what their phone .. is off hand? Or did you know that 30% of people who have issues with their phones have issues with speaking the english language???
damn it all to hell and back my life sucks and i just wish things wouldnt shit on me like they do
people think im intelligent and like to be around me, i dont understand why when i am so full of contradictions. People call it being unique and eccentric i think is the word i heard not too long ago.... you know who you are... i like to be unique, if it wasnt such a bitch to be that way, my life is totally screwed up
i appologise too much, even when i dont mean it, i laugh when id rather cry, i smile when im tore all up inside, i look like i keep it all together when im barely hanging on to the pieces of my life that mean anything to me, when i cry i push away, i offer but hardly accept help, i try to be there for others and feel i never need someone to lean on, im happy and friendly when i would just rather say get the hell away from me, i hug someone when id rather be alone, i stand here on my own supporting everyone i care about, yet some days i feel like no one is there for me. eccentric no, ecclectic maybe, crazy definately! i love to keep my friends close and help them through all they are going through, yet when i think of my own problems, i feel as if im lost in a fog of self doubt and depression.
Ever walk out on a dark night with lots of fog hanging in the air? The air is so heavy you feel you can barely breath, you take ten steps from the door and you see only fog, your lost and everything is blurred so that you dont know which way to go. you reach out to touch, yet its not tangable. you cant hold it but yet you see it and can feel it in a way. the darkness is so oppressing that you just want to sit down and cry or yell for someone to be able to find you. is that tears on your face or moisture from the air. for all you know left is right and right is left. you dont know where you came from and dont know where you are going.
that sounds like my life in a nutshell, i have the glimmers of hope and happiness but no one sees the dispair and depression, i hope you never do, it may swallow you up as well.
lifes a bitch and then you die... how odd a statement yet how true....
when you have feelings for someone, you would love to tell them and show them, well i do... i always have btu is it right to bring these kinds of feelings into any kind of relationship? can anyone love me for who i am and know that i feel like this and feel these things. to be in the middle of a crowd yet be so alone...
when do you reach the point of no return? and when does life get too much? when can you feel so low you start to drag others down?
i dont know and hope to never hit these points, but one day i will, and i have before. God help me!
I pray, I cry, I live, I dream, I hope, yet it all comes to what?A paycheck and what? I have a beautiful little girl that is the light of my life and the only reason I am still here. If she was not here and given the chance, I honestly believe I would not be here today.
I used to once say in highschool, and some people will remember this....
to love life is to live, and to live life it to be loved.....
i wish it were still so for me...
i better go before i drag myself and whoever decides to read this into my pit of depression and dispair.
