three american soldiers went to the war office to collect medals for bravery. when they get there they are told sorry lads we have run out of medals, so the officer says what we will do is you can be measured on your body, and we will give you a thousand dollars an inch , the first one goes in he says private where do you want to be measured from he says tip of the left hand tip of the right hand. measures 88 inches 88 thousand dollars thank you sir. second one goes in captain how about you tip of the toe tip of the head ok measures 98 inches 98 thousand dollars thank you sir. third one goes in how about you sir ok sis tip of my penis tip of my ball, dont be silly the officer says so the third man says ok ill have my medal he says ok where are your balls he says in vietnam. im ENGLISH NO OFFENCE