We do not often get the opportunity to say goodbye to the ones we love.
I am overwhelmed by my own fantasies: my sense of escape and departure from the accepted rules governing our society. I feel as though I have to live for all that I can give; but, at night I lay in bed waiting to receive, but to receive what?
I sometimes wish I was immortal and had the ability to journey through eternity, keeping the memories of those I hold dear inside.
My dreams, and by that I mean fantasies, are almost always interrupted by a cry from deep within my soul. It leaves me thirsting, and hunger for that which was only a mere breath away.
Oh God! I am forever seduced by my own thoughts, left breathless by the touch of his hands. Impatiently, I open my eyes, bright and wide, with lust and love, a combination that troubles him, enthralls him and scares him all in the same.
For, in my eyes he sees an emotion so strong and powerful that it breaks down the walls he has meticulously created all these years. How can he shield his heart from an undeniable love? That would mean complete trust in me? It would mean open those doors once more!!!
O God! Why are those doors closed! I need to get in, let me in. Please, my soul is desperately yearning for him, to let me in; for in him , I feel alive.
But wait! I love my independence, why should I give in. It is only fair that he should meet me half way. No how can I use my feminine wills to evoke this? If I batter my eyelashes and act coyly will he get the message? Or maybe I should create a dance, for I know he likes it wicked: a dance where he’s heart and my soul will be entangled.
Then, he opens wide, his arms!
Sweet exultation! Teardrops streaming down my face: sweet release!!! Does this make me weak, does it make him my protector, my knight in shining armor?
But, how do we distinguish reality from fantasy.....after all, what is real is often times just a dream:
A desperate dream,
an erotic dream,
An innocent dream..........
A dream filled with carnal desire, exposed to the fullest
It is all just a dream.................an endless Dream……..
And then, bliss enfolds us….and on this night, we become caught in a web of deceit. It is of our own making…….because, it is always about power.....? But then again, we never got to say GOODBYE!!!
Then again, it is funny how we feel so much, but we never really say a 'word.'
