Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercialflight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, theman in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently,:in a loud voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired Married,two sons, both surgeons."After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through atight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired.Married, two sons, both Judges."After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides tointroduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims,"Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retiredNever married, two sons, both Admirals.
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving downa muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with ared-faced colonel at the wheel."Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside."Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys,"Yours is."
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonelwas sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked upthe phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll passon your good wishes, sir."Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlistedman, he asked, "What do you want?""Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hookup your telephone."
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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"Soldier: "Sure, buddy."Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!Do you have change for a dollar?"Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?A: He'll tell you.
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Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
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An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general were sittingin the barbershop. They were both just getting finished withtheir shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shaveto slap on their faces. The general shouted, "Hey, don't putthat stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"The sergeant turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and putit on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehousesmells like."
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman, "Isuppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waitingfor me to die so you can come and pee on my grave.""Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'mnever going to stand in line again!"
