Living in a small town certainly had its share of ups and downs. Everyone knowing everything about you, sometimes even before you could figure them out was definitely not one of the highlights of my existence. This morning though, I was determined to prove otherwise. Ushering my two youngest children into the beat up pick-up was not the way they had planned on spending their Saturday morning. If I would have known what to expect, I may have chosen to do things much more different. At least I hoped so.
The rain was beating down so fiercely that the wipers could barely keep up. The petty squabbling between my girls was making the small headache I had woken with start to feel like a mini explosion behind my right eye. I knew at any moment I was going to turn into my mother and the dreaded words were going to tumble from my mouth as they always had from her whenever we went on an errand. “If you don't stop right now, when we get to the store you can park your behinds here in the car!”
I didn't want to turn into my mother, even knowing there were times when I slipped and things she said while I was growing up came pouring from my lips. I was determined to keep my temper in check. So I did what I thought was best, I cranked the stereo to an oldies station and began singing loudly and off-key. That quickly made the girls stop their arguing and the begging began.
“Mom!” Corrine whined. She was my youngest. At 13 she thought she owned the world and that everyone just had to fall into place. “Turn it down!”
“We can't talk over the music!” Heather, my 15 year old, chimed in.
“That would be the whole point!” I grumbled, pausing my singing. “Now if you two would like to find a way to get along, I will gladly change the channel. If not... I can always continue.”
“No!” They cried in unison.
“We'll be good. I swear it.” Corrine finished.
A slow smile crossed my lips but I quickly smothered it before the girls caught on to what I was doing. If it brought me a few moments of peace, it was well worth it. “Another couple of minutes and we'll be there.” Glancing out the window, I noted that we would shortly be passing the abandoned military base that still stood between my home and the next small town.
to be continued...
The knock on the door was unexpected. Peering through the peephole, she could see the man running his fingers through his hair, then he breathed into his hand. Rolling her eyes at the sight, she opened the door. “Can I help you?”
“I am your new neighbor from down the hall.” He pointed to his door.
“Yes?” she sounded abrupt, not used to dealing with unknown people at the door.
“I just wondered if maybe you'd like to go for a drink sometime.”
She looks over her shoulder at her kids in the apartment. Oh yeh, I get so much time for that. Turning back to the gentleman at the door, she caught a whiff of alcohol on his breath. Instantly her stomach turned. “Thanks, but that's not possible.” Knowing how people can be when they're drinking, she kept one hand on the door and tried to make her retreat.
“Well maybe another time.”
“Uh, yeah, maybe. I have to go.” The crash in the hall pulled her attention from the door.
“Sure, no problem.”
Closing the door and slipping the lock into place, she took a deep breath in and out grateful that was over. Instead of being upset over the broken toy in the hall that caused her easy escape, she felt a much better 'punishment' should be dealt.
“Girls! Front and center,” she said from the kitchen.
The pounding of six feet echoed through the hall. “Yes mom?” They each looked at her with angelic eyes and completely innocent stares.
“I'm not going to yell. Not even going to get upset. All I'm going to say is I want it cleaned up and the first one done gets to pour the sprinkles on their ice cream first.”
“Ice cream!” came the unison cry. Away they ran to clean up.
While dishing out the dessert, she went over the quick conversation at the door. She knew he'd given his name but for the life of her she couldn't remember it. Then one gnawing thought crept through. “How'd he know which apartment I lived in?” She'd never even seen him in the building before. She also knew her name wasn't on the board in the lobby, for privacy and protection. The anonymity made her feel better, usually.
The rest of the evening passed uneventfully, until she was getting ready for bed. The knocking on the door was loud and insistent. She rushed to the door to keep it from waking her children. Without thinking, she pulled the door open. “Who the hell?” She was ready to argue with whomever was on the other side. Instead, she froze. It was the guy from down the hall. “You realize it's almost midnight?”
“I just wanted to see you.”
“It's almost midnight,” she repeated.
“It is?” He weaved on his feet. The scent of alcohol she had caught earlier had been increased about a dozen times. He smelt like a brewery.
Looking at him with disgust, she gritted her teeth. “What do you want?”
“I just got home.”
“And?”
“I wanted to know if you wanted to come over.”
“My kids are sleeping and you're drunk.”
“I'm fine, I'm fine.” He almost fell into the wall.
“Oh yeah, you're fine. You need to go home and sleep it off. Good night.” Not waiting on a reply she slammed the door and locked it. Her heart pounded in her chest. People as a general rule upset her. This situation brought back all the fears she felt from her abusive ex husband. Without thinking she went to the dining room table and grabbed a chair , propping it under the door jam for extra insurance. Then she went to bed, with the thought of , 'How'd he get my apartment number?' echoing through her mind.
to be continued...
Right now I have to walk my kids to school. Normally they're bused but they have a policy that states when you reach a certain grade you have to live outside of a certain distance in order to take the bus. Otherwise you have to wait for an empty seat (which is what I must do.) Anyway, I walked my girls to school this morning as I have every morning and on the way home I dealt with the stupidest male on the planet or the most ignorant (not sure which yet, maybe both).
So here I was walking down the sidewalk at 8 in the morning, wearing jogging pants, my favorite hoodie and using my cane. Uber sexy attire at 8 in the morning I know. I still wasn't fully awake because as far as I'm concerned, conversation of the verbal kind should not occur before noon if you want to be coherent.
At the crosswalk a red pickup truck pulls to the corner, blocking my way. So I do the nice thing (instead of what I really wanted to do which was curse him out for being an idiot and nearly hitting a woman with a stroller. not me, another pedestrian) Luckily she made it the rest of the way across the road before things got really interesting. Anyway, so I smile at the driver indicating that he can go ahead and I'll cross when he's gone. Does he move? No! Instead, he rolls down his window and asks, "Are you working?"
The first thought that went through my mind was, 'Working what? I'm waiting to cross the street you observant moron.' However, I actually said, "Do I look like I'm working?" I mean cripes, I know prostitutes in my area don't want to be noticed but since when is jogging pants and a hoodie attractive hookerwear?
He stared at mean and I continued, "WTF dude? i'm standing here in jogging pants, a hoodie and walking with a fucking cane! maybe... if i was dressed like a hooker, walked like a hooker and actually WAS a hooker i might sleep with your sorry ass, even then you couldn't afford me."
Promptly he sped off and I laughed the entire way home thinking just how stupid some people are.
He promised, she seethed. He promised and yet again he failed to deliver. She paced the room, her eyes flickered toward the closed door. Liar, she thought. He's such a liar! She stalked back to the fireplace and saw a picture of the two of them at the fair, taken only a few short months ago. His eyes were a warm blue, yet the gaze was cold and distant. It was as if he was staring straight through the camera, she noticed.
She loved him, of that there was no question. She just hated when he made promises then broke them. Today was important, and he knew it. So it meant a lot to her that he kept his word and came home on time.
The sound of a disgruntled engine broke the silence of the living room, and she spun around waiting for the door to open. Anger flowed through her, making her blood feel warm and giving her skin a healthy glow. Wanting a final moment to herself, she stormed into the kitchen. Walking around the island, she hoped for something cool to drink.
She wasn't sure what she was going to do yet, but he had to learn that when he made a promise, it should be kept. Breaking them just... wasn't acceptable.
The smells of dinner warming in the oven filled the house. It had been ready for hours. The vegetables had been turned off and were now cold in their pots. The ham, she was afraid, was most likely starting to dry out.
Hearing the front door slam, she reached for her drink then went back to the living room.
“Hi babe,” Jeff called from the front entry. “I'm home.” He caught a whiff of cooked food and paused. "Something smells good."
“I'm home. Something smells good,” she mocked quietly, walking across the hardwood floor.
“Tess, did you say something?”
“You forgot,” Tess said, her hand resting on the doorway. She brought her other hand up to take a sip and realized she grabbed a knife from the butcher block instead of her glass.
“Forgot what?” Jeff asked, untying his boot. He looked up and saw the knife being tapped on his wife's lip. Her eyes glared down at him.
She stormed out of the room back into the kitchen. Slamming the knife down on the island, she looked at the clock on the wall above the stove. It was late, the candles had burned down to nubs and dinner was still warming in the oven. Although she felt no desire to eat it. Tess began putting the dishes away and clearing off the candles for the trash as Jeff walked in the room.
“Tess?”
“You do not want to talk to me right now Jeff. You just want to wait until I calm down.”
“I don't know what...”
“You never know. That's just it, you never know, you never remember.”
“Remember what?” Jeff looked at her completely confused.
“What's today, Jeff?” She swung around, her hair flying freely behind her. “What day of the freaking month is it?”
“The 15th.”
“And what is the 15th of this month, Jeff. Think really goddamn hard.” She glared at him. When he gave no reply she continued. “I asked you specifically to be here on time today.” A tear escaped, and she wiped it for its bitter betrayal.
Jeff stood there silently, watching as she stormed around the kitchen replacing everything and tried to remember why she had asked him to be home. It had just been a couple of beers with the guys. Normally she wouldn't have gotten angry at him coming home later than usual. She was usually pretty good about things like that.
When she pulled the cake box from the fridge, a light switched on in his head. How could he have been so stupid, he berated himself. “Tess, I'm sorry.”
“You're sorry.” She glared at him as she opened the box slowly. “The one night I ask you to be home early, because it was important. You couldn't even remember! You promised and you lied!”
“It wasn't...”
“Of course it wasn't,” she interrupted. “It never is.”
He took a step toward her, and stopped when she lifted the knife up off the island again.
“This is what I think of your “it wasn't's” and your “I'm sorry's.” She drove the knife viciously through the 'Happy.” Lifting the blade back out of the cake, she flicked the tip at him. Icing and cake flew across the room and landed firmly on his shirt.
He stared at her in both disbelief and shock. As he went to wipe the cake off, another shot landed on his arm and chest. He tried to avoid the next impact but she was throwing recklessly now. There was cake and icing plastered against the wall, While she screamed obscenities, her hair flew wildly around her face as she turned, reaching for another slab. As she spun around with the cake cutter in her hand, Jeff reached her.
The timing couldn't have been more wrong. The blade slid easily to the hilt between fabric and skin. Jeff paused mid stride, stunned. Looking down, he saw the handle still in Tess' hand. Her eyes widened in shock and horror. A single drop of blood escaped the bottom of the wound, forming a crimson tear stain on his shirt.
Everything seemed to suddenly move in slow motion, his knees gave out beneath him and he crumbled to the floor as easily and silently as the cake had only seconds before. Staring at the remnants of the word anniversary on the cake, Tess began to scream. A moment later, Tess collapsed to the floor in a dead faint, the couple surrounded by icing, crumbs and peppermints.
I stretched, and looked out the window that was right next to my bed. My reflection caught me off guard at first, the piercing gray eyes that had meant pain for so many. My appearance was deceiving, how many times had I heard the words, 'What a beauty?' Only to have someone get too close and...
I couldn't bear to think of it. Tonight I would start fresh, tonight wouldn't be the same as it had been. I was going to turn over a new leaf. I wasn't going to hurt another living soul. Slowly, I climbed out of bed, my legs protesting loudly as they moved to start another night.
"How can you sleep so much?" I looked around the empty room. There was no reply, not even the echo of my voice comforted me.
"You are a monster!" I exclaimed. "How can you live with yourself knowing what you've done?"
I made my way to the kitchen. The rest of the house was a wreck. There were scratches down the walls, broken dishes, and glass lying everywhere, furniture was overturned. The whole place looked as if it should have been abandoned after a natural disaster. Yet, here I stayed. It was the only place I had ever known, and I couldn't bring myself to leave. I went to the fridge; the door was lying half off its hinges.
"Damn it! There's no milk," I cursed quietly.
I knew I would have to go out, but I was afraid if I did...
Sighing, I got ready to leave. I walked slowly to the front door and peered through the window. There was no one around, thankfully. I went out into the night air.
It wasn't cold yet, but it was coming. The breeze that blew in from the window made me shiver. I could feel a dull ache deep in my bones. I crept down the sidewalks, making certain to keep to the shadows. I walked passed house after house, if anyone saw me, most would either walk by without a word. If they didn't do that, they would stop and tell me how beautiful I was.
I knew it and didn't mind. What could I say? It wasn't as if they were wrong.
There was a squeaking noise behind me, at first I jumped in surprise. I turned slowly to see who was there.
"Oh, it's you," I said coldly.
"You were expecting someone else?" came the curt reply.
"Shouldn't you be finding some house to disturb?" I asked.
"Then I wouldn't be here, with you," he said.
"I'm in no mood for games." I turned away. Lights flickering on overhead caught my attention. The way the shadows danced over the sidewalk were quite distracting.
"I bet you are," came the sneaky response.
I turned back, my eyes flashed. I was angry that not only was he still here bothering me, but he distracted me from a shimmering light that bounced off a nearby store window.
"You know what I'm capable of. It's best you leave me alone." I glared.
"Yes, I've heard." He circled me. "You merely have to exit the door and there is fear in the streets."
"Then you should listen to that fear," I said smartly.
"Where is the fun in that?" He took a playful swipe at my arm.
"I'm warning you..." I threatened.
"Warn away, sweet one. You'll no more harm me than you would an annoying fly," he said, sounding cocky.
"Oh? Why is that?" My eyes never left his slender frame.
"We are the same you and I," he said.
"I don't agree," I took a step closer.
"Now, now," he said. "There is no need to be testy."
"Just leave me alone." I backed away.
"Ah, perhaps it is you who has become nothing more than a frightene little mouse?" he asked. "A leopard cannot change its spots so why try?"
"Why do you antagonize me? If you get me angry, you know what will happen." I was close to tears. "I have somewhere I need to be."
"I'm not antagonizing you, as you call it. I am merely playing. That is what I do." He smiled, slapping my arm. After that, he walked away.
My pride was hurt, there was no way I was going to let him get away with that. I screamed, pouncing onto his back. Together we fell to the ground.
"No one speaks to me in such a way!" I cried out.
He tried to protest but nothing came from his mouth.
I felt his flesh tear under my nails and it felt wonderful. I bit him and could feel the blood seep through my teeth, filling me. It tasted both bitter and sweet at the same time.
He was smaller than I, which made me feel more powerful.
"You should have had more respect," I said, as I heard his neck snap. Without another word, I swallowed loudly. "No damn mouse will get the better of me!"
I walked on down the street until I heard the chiming of a door.
"Hey beautiful, what are you doing out so late?" Came the sweet call of the store clerk that I knew so well.
I looked up into his happy face.
"Let me guess, you're here for milk," he said.
I felt my body vibrating in anticipation. He was so kind to me. The door chimed twice more and milk was brought out for me. With a ruffle of my head, he walked back inside.
I quickly went to work on the milk, drinking it slowly and savoring its fresh, cool taste. When I was finished the door chimed one last time. The store clerk had returned.
He leaned down and slid his hand over my back. I had to admit it felt nice. I looked up at him expectantly.
"I got this for you." He placed a package beside me.
I looked from him to the label, grabbed the bag and ran off into the night. I heard his pleasant laughter follow me. As I got back into my home I put the package down again. "Catnip," it read. Oh I was one lucky girl. Not everyone hated me for the menace I was.
the end