where to start. first i have done some fucked up shit in my life.used to deal cocaine and do collections for gansters. i guess i was on to. my perception of my self was not always the best. thought i was a failure to my paRENTS, BUT THEY LOVE ME ANYWAY. took care of my mother till she died. went thru a lot of shit with her family. if i could get away with killing most of those pieces of shit i would. i've been at the bottom of the barrel. you know it's time to quit doing coke when your sitting on the couch with shotguns, automatic weapons and variuos bladed weapons and havent slept in 6 days. this was after my mother died. she loved me to the end. on that night i came to realize life is meant to be savored not in torment of one's past failures. we all make mistakes. my demons are pulling at me every minuts of the day and night. but with the help of friends and some family, things will be alright. i know my photos don't show how i was back then. they r the new me. but piss me off i and have no problems breaking bones, because the screaming doesn't bother me anymore. hope people will understand me. shit sometimes i don't understand me. i'm done for now. merry xmas
