emotions running amuck
haven't been this close to losing control
not since
the last time
it's been a while
irrational
hate being called that
but that's what this is
at least once a month I'm immersed
in this hormonal overload
panting with desire one moment
and ready to bite heads off the next
kissing to make up only to start pouting
the instant i don't get what I want
or this insanely jealous monster
that says
I must be the center of the universe
bares her teeth as claws lengthen
have to get out of here before she takes over
walking
walking fast buttoning coat as I go
cold
damp rain doesn't bother my footsteps
cool wind in my face and I can reason a bit easier
a misunderstanding
unintentional feelings hurt
I want to tell him that I'm sorry
sorry I'm like most women
subject to the insane flow of estrogen
out of my control
and there it is again and fighting for it
scrapping for it
been trying to stand my ground
but I've been looking for a fight or a why to cry all week
the tears lay just under the surface
ready to break
so close to being unrestrained
I want to break something
I want stamp my feet and throw shoes against the wall
not far from sounding like a tantrum
I know
and thus I am further infuriated because children tantrum
and if I get told
stop acting like a child
oh boy
there will be no stopping me then
none at all
calm returns after a longer than usual walk
but I know she's waiting there
the crazy woman
on the inside of me
hope you never see her
