Take a walk with me,
I'll let you in; tell you everything.
About all the pains and fears.
The hurts and hidden tears.
The lies to comfort those,
Who shouldn't ever know.
I'll show you how bad life's been to me.
Then let you decide how it's bittersweet.
I know the air is cold on your face.
But it's better than talking in this place.
At a loss of my own words.
There's too much to say that can't be heard.
So bare with me the freezing weather.
Let's just talk or listen together.
I wish I had done so much better,
Gotten my act together.
But alas at twenty-one,
There's so much I've left undone.
I live within my notebook.
Some time take a look.
Shattered dreams
are burried deep.
A regret to those who should've loved me.
I know it seems that I am nothing.
I write only to feel some what alive.
I used to resort to cutting with knives.
When I felt the sting and began to bleed.
That always seemed to reasure me.
I couldn't get it through their heads.
I am alive, They just wouldn't notice if I were dead.
My writting's all I got left,
I'm an irreversably screwed up mess.
To laugh feels like a joke.
What's the use of holding to hope?
I scream on the inside looking out.
Yet still I am nothing they care about.
Here take my coat.
Still have a bit to go.
What I have isn't much.
Just writtings, art and such.
It's means nothing to anyone else.
But it's all I have for myself.
No one to talk to when mom and dad fight.
That keeps me up most nights.
No one's there to make it ok.
I'm trapped in my thoughts,
And they're on replay.
If I could I'd drown it out.
You try ignoring 21 years of screams and shouts.
An unwanted and unloved little girl.
Feeling like she's being attacked by the world.
Scared, frightened, afraid and alone.
Yet I seek sanctuary in this tomb of a home.
A ticking time bomb,
You never know when it will go off.
Cigarette smoke softens the scene.
Makes it like a foggy dream.
When it's my turn to play my role,
I feel as though I pay a toll.
The audience watches as I'm placed with blame.
How I ruined the family, cast them in shame.
I'm horrible, wicked, evil and bad.
Took away anychance of happiness they had.
I wish I could say "I'm sorry for it all"
That when they look at me, I feel so small.
I hide behind these lines,
Hoping they'll stop, and I'll be fine.
Well I guess this is the end of our walk.
Thanks for listening while I'd talk.
Go home to your happy life and warm bed.
Forget everything you heard that I have said.
Chances are, you don't even care.
But that's only because you don't live there.
I'm off to being their resentment.
Better make the best of it.
