To think I thought I'd be ok this time, an inside joke for just myself.
Wear a smile to pass the time peacefully till my next episode.
Hide the scars under long shirts and rolls of gauze
Razorblade dreams crept up on me again.
Fought it off for as long as I could telling myself I was whole again.
Little white lies turn to drops of red running down my arm again.
Shut my mouth and keep it inside till I can find a dark corner to slash away at myself once again.
False hope I filled myself with runs down my arm and to the drain.
Turns a pretty shade of pink Before they wash away gone before I had a chance to try them on for size.
this addiction I found long ago for pain is becoming all consuming an obsession that runs though my mind.
Hell bent on self destructing one cut to many to deep is all it would take......punish myself by sticking around.
Looking for redemption for a pain I never caused, fueled by guilt implanted in me before I was to young to know what to do with it
I hate it when I feel this way......but I love the way the high feels
