But if you love someone, you shouldn't want anyone elsse.
That's a common idea, but it doesn't hold up in practice.
Many people believe that a person who has multiple loves can't give thier "whole heart" to any person. The belief goes that if you love one person, you can express your love wholeheartedly, but if you love multiple people, your love is divided up and therefore not as deep. This is based on the "starvation model" of love--that is, you only have a limited amount of love, and if you give your love to one person, there is none left to give to anyone else--so if you fall in love with another person, you have to "pay" for it by withdrawing your love from the first person.
Love is not the same thing as money. With money, you have only a limited amount to spend, and when you give it to one person you have less to give to another. But love behaves in wonderful and unpredictable and counterintuitive ways. When you love more than one person, you soon realize that the more love you give away, the more love you have to give. Yes, you CAN give your hole heart to more then one person, and when you do, you realize it's the most beautiful feeling in all the world.
Don't think of the contents of your heart they way you think of the contents of your wallet; it doesn't work like that.
Anyways, as I was saying, in a poly relationship, it is vital--perhaps even more vital than monogamous relationship--for everyone involved to know and understand the rules of the relationship, and abide by them. A successful poly relationship absolutely requires trust and security from everyone involved. If you cannnot abide by the relationship's rules, you cnnot expect to make a polyamorous relationship work.
