Dear Ninja,
I am about to embark on a trip to see Hellyion. I have a few reservations about leaving my baby behind but afer the last few comments from her. I am now petrified.
She has been leaving these comments and statuses:
a. she has informed me she will be meeting me at the airport dressed as a giant Penis.
b. in her status the other day, she informed me that she would be locking me in her bedroom.
c. she is a known sex addict.
d. I am meeting her mom for tea!
Help me
Confused and sexually innocent!
Dear Confused and sexually "innocent"
A video camera is an absolute must. You also must convince her to sing a special version of the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song dressed in the penis suit. You will quickly become so youtube famous you will not even worry about meeting her mom.
As for locking you in her room, come on, you know you can take her. Go for the knees if you have to. I hear when you get older, it takes longer to get up. If you have to charge, shoulder down and run through her leading with the shoulder, it works on linebackers, and I'm pretty sure Helly's a lot smaller than they are.
As for her sex addiction, there's always making her drink til she passes out. Once she's out, you can enjoy a nice quiet night with that handsome man you met on the plane.
Good Luck.