If i wasn't on anti depressants, I might be a bigger wreck than I am. But, I went out to the bar with some friends last night. I mostly stared at the floor. I picked my eyes up to get 1/2 or 1/3 of a story here and there. and its always the same shit. bar talk, bullshitting. getting 'fucked up.' I can really care less about it all, but i suppose i should enjoy it, since now interludes like that will be my only human contact for a while, besides my shitty garbage job at an auto parts store. anyway, i only had 4 beers, but i have a slight headache this morning. I intend to stick to the plan of not calling her anymore, or writing to her.