Pro Wrestling Unplugged & Juggalo Championsh!t Wrestling
"Cuffed & Caged: Last Man Standing"
January 20, 2007
New Alhambra Arena
7 Ritner Street
Philadelphia, PA
7:10 - Hello everyone, it's your's truly... Dan "The Phan Cowhey. And along side me for the LIVE play by play is Jake Black. And the doors here at the New Alhambra Arena just opened and the fans are making their way into the Legendary New Alhambra Arena. Looking in the back I do see some new faces in the PWU locker room. I wonder if those are the surprise debuts promised by PWU Management.
7:40 - And the now famous PWU Opening, "We Don't Die" by Twistid plays to kick off Cuffed & Caged here at the New Alhambra Arena.
7:45 - The show is kicked off with a 10 Bell Salute to the fallen Bam Bam Bigelow who died yesterday afternoon.
7:47 - The first match in the event is the 3 Way PWU Tag Team Championship Match pitting the Champions, The S.A.T.s, All Money Is Legal, and Joker & Reyes.
7:50 - AMIL come charging out to new entrance music and instantly go on the attack with the broken trophy! The action is already on the outside of the ring to kick off this event! It sounds as though the crowd here is firmly behind the Cup winners, All Money Is Legal.
8:00 - After a brawling match that went around the New Alhambra Arena... Your winners, and NEW PWU Tag Team Champions... Ricky Reyes & Joker! But they didn't even pin the Tag Team Champions to win! The SATs do not look happy and they have just taken steel chairs and are on the attack of both teams here! The fans here in the New Alhambra are showing no love to the newly crown champions. The new Champions even get into it with the fans at the end.
8:05 - Former General Manager, John House, he has now found himself a new body gaurd(s) that aren't "stupid." And out comes Gemini, Kwame, better known as The Krash Krew and Damien Slugga... But the Krash Krew doesn't seem to like Slugga out there... Gemini and Slugga get into a fight that spills to the outside. And oddly enough, Kwame doesn't help his partner as he gets beat by the monstar, Damien Slugga. The two fight to the back, and in the end John House chooses just the "Silent But Deadly" Kwame.
8:12 - The next match kicks off to the sounds of "Notorious" when one hald of the Perfect Strangers, Drew Blood, makes his way to the ring to take on an O'Doyle... CJ O'Doyle.
8:21 - After a series of back slides... "The Little Buddy" Drew Blood takes the victory over CJ O'Doyle. After the match, the two share a handshake in respect. Still coming up later on tonight are the other half of those Tag Teams.
8:23 - JAKE BLACK - Well after Dan Cowhey's ho-hum job at livw play-by-play it id now time for "The Legend of Power Surge TV" Jake Black to give it a whirl. The next match is for the PWU Women's Championship as Merceded Martinez does battle with "Prime Time" Amy Lee w/ Dr. Don Bootz, Mad Doctor (M.D). As Amy Lee walked to the ring she threatened to once again date rape our esteemed PWP owner Nate Stein.
8:25 - Before the bell, Mercedes jumped Lee to start the contest.
8:30 - As Lee chokes Martinez in the corner, and yells "FUCK YOU" in her melodic voice to the crowd, Bootz grabs a chair and threatens Martinez. But a miscue leads to Lee hititng Bootz. Bootz distracts the ref, as Martinez has Lee pinned.
8:35 - Lee now has the chair and hits Martinez in her bad shoulder behind the refs back and out of his range of hearing. Lee pins Martinez to win the PWU Womens Championship, as Bootz throws confetti around the ring to celebrating his masturbatory fantasy's title win. Lee beats into Mercedes some more until Mickie Knuckles runs in to save Mercedes and run Lee/bootz off.
8:40 - Quiet Storm (no relation to the famous Storm Wrestling family) has just made his return to PWU, and he faces the challenge of XFC Standout, Aramis. Aramis recently scored a convincing win over Azrieal. Storm hasn't been seen reguarly in the States since 2002.
8:47 - An even match so far, with Storm now calling for the STORM CRADLE DRIVER! But Aramis reverses with a inverted roll up, and then hits the "Great Black Hype" for a nearfall.
8:49 - After an exchange of pinfalls Aramis pins Storm to continue his winning ways over well travled wrestling stars.
8:52 - Hey another return...Z-BARR makes his return to PWU after a 4 month absence, and is met by either "homo" or "hobo" chants from the crowd, my hearing his so messed up. His partner is Wrestling Society X star, Luke Hawkes. Thier opponents are The Angus Bros.
8:58 - The Angus' hit a double tope con hilo on Barr/Hawkes, to gain control.
9:04 - Barr/Luke win the match with a Brainbuster/Top rope legdrop on Danny Angus to win the match.
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9:08 - Up next, KJ O'Doyle vs. a former Time Magazine "Man of the Year" winner, Teddy Fine. TFine's ring intro is worth the price of admission alone, as a "Teddy(repeat)" chant ring throughout the halls of the New Alhambra Arena.
9:17 - After TFine took control early, KJ took over when TFine slipped on the top rope. TFine is so used to walking down runways he must have been thrown off.
9:19- TFine is now playing mindgames with KJ. Not difficult. KJ is losing his cool.
9:21 - TFine using the ropes for leverage to pin KJ Hellfire-O'Doyle to win the match. TFine wins, let's FIESTA!
9:25 - PWU Executive Assistant, Annie Social is now on the way to the ring, I wonder what she wants? Eh, she's hot, she can want whatever she wants. Ian Rotten is now on headed to the ring stag, to challenge PWU Heavyweight Champion Devon Moore. Every PWU Championship has changed hands tonight, this could be a bad omen for Devon Moore.
9:30 - Annie Social just announced this match is a straight match, no weapons allowed, and the rules will be strictly enforced, unlike a prison sentence.
9:37 - So far the match has been more evenly contested than the match at "PWU vs. JCW: The Showdown" last month. Moore was obviously better prepared for Rotten's techincal abilities this month.
9:40 - Rotten nails Moore with a chair, Moore retains the PWU Championship via DQ, while Rotten continues the onslaught.
INTERMISSION - Man... Jake and I were not liked by those JCW Fans at all.
***For the love of God, please dont forget to visit the Pro Shop at ProWrestlingUnplugged.com for your PWU merchandise needs.***
10:17 - Now that intermission is over we kick off the last portion of our show with the Cuffed & Caged War Games Match. Out first, the two managers that will be handcuffed together... Shaggy 2 Dope of the Insane Clown Posse and PWU Owner, Tod Gordon.
10:20 - The First Entry for JCW is the International Star, Nosawa.
10:21 - PWU's first entry... Former PWU World Champion, Trent Acid!
10:26 - The Cage door is finally shut and the match is on its way... A reminder a new entry will enter every 2 minutes. And it is an elimination style match, meaning that if could be 1 on 1, 2 on 1, 3 on 2, 5 on 1, etc.
10:30 - PWU Neons just threw two chairs into the ring just as "Chicken Huntin'" hits and the next JCW Entry, 2 Tuf Tony enters. And instantly, Trent Acid is at a disadvantage until the next PWU Wrestler enters the cage. If Trent Acid is eliminated here he will be handcuffed onto the outside of the cage until PWU wins, should that happen. We are now less than a minuter from the next PWU entry.
10:33 - And the next PWU entry... Ironically the JCW World Champion and PWU Hardcore Champion, Corporal Robinson!
10:35 - Corporal Robinson just CRUSHED 2 Tuff Tony's Head with a steel chair in the corner... And the next JCW entry making his way into the cage is... VIOLENT J and the JUGGALOS are going wild! Now JCW has the advantage for the next two minutes... And They are fully in control now, Violent J just took out both Acid and Robinson in seconds!
10:38 - But now the sides get even as the second half of the BackSeat Boyz, Johnny "Angel" Kashmere, makes his way into the cage and instantly he and Acid land the Dream Squence on Nosawa! They quickly get the pin! And Nosawa now must leave the cage and be handcuffed to the cage! But Kashmere has a Plug... But while Kashmere isn't paying attention, Acid is pinned by 2 Tuff Tony! Wait a minute! Corporal Robinson and Kashmere are using the PWU Plug to HANG Violent J from the Cage! They are lynching him! But J pulls Kashmere in and slams him from the top of the cage for the pin... And at 10:42... RAVEN ENTERS to his old school "Come Out And Play" By the Offspring!
10:43 - Robinson is in all alone with J and Tony... But Raven has still yet to come out. His music it but he hasn't come out! We're under a minute for the next PWU entry.
10:45 - And now out to aid Corporal Robinson from PWU is... MY BOY! THE COMPLETE PETE HUNTER! Now you're all in BIG trouble!
10:46 - Pete goes right after Nosawa and Shaggy who are on the outside and because of that distraction Mad Man Pondo, who is NOT legal in the match yet... Attacks him from behind. But still NO Raven?!
10:47 - I think the rules have just been thrown out... The Pitbull is now out! Meanwhile, The BackSeat Boyz and Nosawa are cuffed to the outside. Now all PWU entries have been made. Acid look to be trying to escape the cuff but to no avail... Pondo and Hunter are going at it... Now Pitbull comes in on the action with student, Hunter...
10:48 - Violent J just turned the tables now JCW is in control of this cage, it is still 4 on 3! And Pondo just "STOPPED" Robinson with a stop sign!
10:51 - Tony just nailed Robinson with a FRANKSTEINER from the top of the cage! But Hunter goes on the attack with a stop sign to Tony... Then Pondo STOPS Hunter... And Pitbull STOPS Pondo... JCW seems to be in control of this match that has proven to be very bloody!
10:52 - Pondo was whipped into the cage door by Pitbull and Hunter... And thanks to Kashmere, who is handcuffed next to the door, slams the door shut and eliminates Pondo... Instantly Tony rolls up Hunter for the Pin...
10:53 - Gary Wolf is then pinned by Tony... Now Robinson is all alone with this former friends of JCW, Violent J and 2 Tuff Tony! This war all started because Robinson raised the PWU Hardcore Title over the JCW World Title at a recent JCW event!
10:55 - STOP THE PRESS... RAVEN IS FINALLY HERE!! IT IS NOW THREE ON ONE IN JCW'S FAVOR! WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!!! RAVEN JUST RAVEN EFFECTED BOTH TONY AND VIOLENT J!!!! IS RAVEN PART OF ... WAIT HE JUST ATTACKED ROBINSON! HE SAYS HE'S THE BIGGEST STAR IN THIS BUSINESS!
10:58 - STOP THE PRESS... GORDON AND SHAGGY ARE WORKING TOGETHER AND DRAG RAVEN TO THE RING TO THE WOLVES THAT ARE JCW AND PWU!
10:59 - And now all the JCW and PWU wrestlers have united as ONE FAMILY... The War Is Now Over!
QUICK RESULTS
- Joker&Ricky Reyes defeated SATs and All Money is Legal to win the PWU Tag Team Championship
- Drew Blood beat CJ O'Doyle
- Amy Lee w/ Dr. Don Bootz, M.D defeated Mercedes Martinez to win thge PWU Womens Championship
- Aramis pinned Quiet Storm
- Luke Hawkes/Z-Barr defeated the Angus Bros.
- Teddy Fine beat KJ Hellfire-O'Doyle
- Devon Moore retains PWU World Title against Ian Rotten by DQ.
- Cuffed & Caged Match: No Contest
