Blind faith or practical belief?
Like a pebble into a lake, that question rippled back decades.
Back to times and places when I was introduced and spoke with people.
Clearly.
This isn't a midlife crisis, this is a midlife change.
I've sat back and thought about the last few years and the people that have been there when I've fallen, when I needed a hand, who came out in those wee hours, who did things that have no value but meant everything. So then I asked myself why I am allowing myself to be drained by those that did things for purely for their own ends?
I was recently told that a friendship is actually an accumulation of trust that grows over time that must be earned. I tried to apply that since supposedly everyone else does it that way.
I was a fool for listening to that rubbish.
I believe a friend is someone that you share good times with of your own free will. That no dogma or social circle should demand one's allegiance just because they are a beneficial vehicle to your goals or aims. That to me is an alliance, not a friendship.
Further, how long you know someone should not have as much bearing on how good a friend is versus what kind of things you have done together. I realize now how corrupt my sense of things had become.
So forgive me if I become serious. Pardon my manners if they seem "off".
I feel like I have two wheels on the road I want to be on and the other tires are now finding grip. If I ask you a very odd question, please don't read into it.
Forget your past, but keep your history.
Thanks Mom. Thanks DX. Thanks XOX.
