JWH Moonshine's blog: "Rants"

We have a new GM at work and I don't quite know how to take him. Sometimes he seems to want to be "one of us" other times, he using his title while talking to us. As the GM, I think... During lunch, one of the guys was talking about a gun he was hoping his gf was getting him for Valentines Day (another story). GM inserts into conversation and asks if we like to shoot (careful hun, your brilliant deduction skills are showing). He has invited all of us to go shooting later today, made it a point to say even me (guess cuz I am the only female)? I'm thinking it's a no win situation. If I out-shoot him, he seems the type that get all hurt...if I don't, I will probably never hear the end of it, ever. Thoughts?

Options--shoot to win--give the guy a break--take a Nerf Gun

And yeah, I think I am in mumm jail--again. 

I am heavily involved in animal rescue and rehab. I believe that we all have a responsibility to help where we can, when we can. Everyone has different talents and abilities, so we are all capable of contributing differently. For me, it is primarily animals. I rescue, treat, rehabilitate, train and/or release.

I have had one Rottweiler that I when I agreed to foster him, I knew it might be a very long ordeal. He was not in good shape, showed signs of abuse and a serious distrust of people. That and he was a Senior. The adoptions of Senior animals are very, very low. Everyone wants a puppy….

That was almost 3 years ago. He is a different dog now. He knows all commands both verbal and hand signals. I can control him from across the yard without saying a word. He is also a big teddy bear.

Lately he hasn’t been feeling well and we have made multiple visits to the Vet. Different tests, considering options, looking for alternatives…there are several phrases we in rescue and pet owners don’t want to hear from the vet. Today I got one of those very phrases.

When the treatment would be more invasive and cause more pain and suffering without improving the odds but the pup still has that spark in his eyes and isn’t ready to go yet, the phrase you get is:” keep him comfortable”.

His is my baby boy. I may have only had him for 3 years out of the possible 9-11 he has lived, but in that amount of time, he has become mine and I have become his. If I am not at work, he is out and about with me. If we are at home, he is by my side. He is my boy and those damn words, “keep him comfortable” keep going and round and round in my head.

If I am online but kinda quiet…forgive me. It means my boy is resting and I am wandering around aimlessly, either around the house or online as I try to do the impossible and brace myself…

One of the hardest things I have ever been asked to do that was rescue related was to be a Hospice Foster.  It was 6 years ago for a Senior dog that was on borrowed time and it was a Rottie. One of my friends heard about him and gave me a call...didn't want to see him spend his last days in a cage. Estimated time left was maybe a month. What do you say? Of course I said yes...and he broke my heart a year later when he passed.

I said..not doing that again.

Fostering is hard.

Rehabbing is a serious test of your commitment, daily and sometimes hourly hard.

Hospice Fostering? OMG...NO.

And after a brutal day, here I am...with another hospice foster.

Someone break out the super glue and duct tape? Gonna need to piece whatever is left of my heart back together in a month or less.  This is gonna hurt...

Rescues. 

They do not always go as planned or end well....this is one of those (fair warning).

I will be here hit or miss and even if I am here, I might not be here...my mind is elsewhere, my heart just a little more battered than before. All because I do what I love. Rescue. 

There are different types of animal rescuers, but we all have the same goal, to save a life. We know we can't save tham all but that won't keep us from trying...

Some work with local shelters and foster adoptable dogs until a home is found.

Others work with rescues, many times breed specfic. Dogs (or cats, horses etc) come from shelters, owner surrenders and animal control. 

Many people take in healthy dogs that are generally happy, but may be a little confused as to where they are, or where their people went. Often these pups are ready to go to their furever home in just a few days. Some may be a little more depressed and need a little more TLC before they head back out into the world. 

These are not the ones I deal with.  I work with the beaten, abused and neglected. I don't just foster, I rehab. 

I work with a breed that long ago captured my heart with their loyalty, intelligence, stubborness, loving and desire to please. I work with Rottweilers. They are labeled a "bully breed" and not legal to own in many areas thanks to BSL (Breed Specific Legislation) which is complete and utter bs...but I won't get started on that one. 

Often the most neglected and abused are the bully breeds. There is no reason or excuse to hurt any animal or child, they are the only true innocents left in this world and should be appreciated as such. 

Right before Christmas, I got a call that there may be a Rottie female in need of urgent rescue. No other details were available at the time. The person that called me knew I was already at my capacity...they wouldn't have called unless it was that bad. So I said yes, I will have a spot ready and waiting and will do the pick up if needed, keep me posted. 

Many times when they find their way to a rescue like me, they have already been through hell. Those are the ones I work with. The ones that have lost all faith in humanity and rightly so. This girl was no different. The call came, so with very little information available I headed out. I met up with the ACO and knew it was going to be bad. The county this pup came from was not bully friendly and did not have any type of restrictions on tying a dog up outside, none. As long as it didn't leave your property, there were no protections in place for the animal. NO requirements for food, shelter etc...

Unable to charge them, the ACO managed to get them to surrender the pup. When we met, he said "now before you kill me...I got her out of there as fast as I could, so she is exactly as I found her. She's in bad shape and another ACO should be here in a few minutes with bolt cutters, then she's all yours". Bolt cutters. DAMN IT. Went to the back seat of his truck and got my first glance of her. I looked over at him and whispered..."who". He said he was working on that, for me to focus on the pup. His friend arrived with the bolt cutters and it was time to get to work. 

Someone had used a chain with a padlock instead of a collar and at the other end of that chain...cinder blocks with another padlock (yes, cinder blocks plural). We were able to cut the locks and most of the chain. We had to leave a lot of the chain because it had started to become embedded in her neck. She was so underweight and so weak...she had to be in extreme pain, but was docile when we removed the locks and I scooped her up and put her in the car.  I got her as comfortable as possible and started driving back towards my county and was dialing the closest vet along the way. 

She was probably just over a year old. Her weight should have been around 60-70, she was 40. Even though she had to be hurting so very, very badly...she was just as sweet as she could be. She couldn't hold her head up,she was that weak...but she would let you hold her and put it in your lap and fall asleep. Her neck was bad, but with time and medicine, it would heal. Her weight, we could fix that, slowly but surely...then the invisible threat was found. Heartworm positive and her case was severe. Even in perfect health, it would have been a hell of a fight...in her condition? Sara (vet) looked at me and asked what I wanted to do..I looked at this poor girl and said, the first thing we are going to do is give her a name. Since she had just gained her freedom and would never be chained again, I named her Independence, Indy for short. Then I said, if she wants to fight, we fight. Indy looked up and gave me slobbery kiss and I said there you have it, we fight. First dose of doxy, a transfusion and fluids to do sub q at home and we were outta there. Still too weak to do much on her own, I had her licking baby food off my fingers to start getting something in her. Gave her a gentle rub down with warm towels to clean her up and make her feel better and we went to bed. Next day, back at vet for more meds then home to some more baby food, soft blankies and a warm bed. We did this for a few days then I called Sara and she was expecting the call....Indy wanted to be loved and wanted to fight, but just wasn't strong enough and another transfusion wasn't an option.  So we planned on seeing Sara the next afternoon and letting Indy cross the bridge. Even that kindness was denied her. I had picked her up and put her in the bed and was laying beside her just telling her about the different pups that I had met through the years, and about the rainbow bridge. When I finished telling her about the bridge, she leaned over just enough to lick my face, put her head down next to mine and slipped away from this world....

Indy, rest easy sweet girl. I will see you at the Bridge.....

If you are not familiar with The Rainbow Bridge, ask anyone that does rescue...or read below. 

The Rescuers Final Reward .....................................

 
"The Rescuer's Final Reward" 
Unlike most days at the Rainbow Bridge, this day dawned cold and gray.
All the recent arrivals at the Bridge did not know what to think, as they had never seen such a day. But the animals who had been waiting longer for their beloved people to accompany them across the Bridge knew what was happening, and they began to gather at the pathway leading to the Bridge.

Soon an elderly dog came into view, head hung low and tail dragging.
He approached slowly, and though he showed no sign of injury or illness, he was in great emotional pain. Unlike the animals gathered along the pathway, he had not been restored to youth and vigor upon arriving at the Bridge. He felt out of place, and wanted only to cross over and find happiness.

But as he approached the Bridge, his way was barred by an angel, who apologized and explained that the tired and broken-spirited old dog could not cross over. Only those animals accompanied by their people were allowed to cross the Bridge. Having nobody, and with nowhere else to turn, the dog trudged into the field in front of the Bridge.

There he found others like himself, elderly or infirm, sad and discouraged. Unlike the other animals waiting to cross the Bridge, these animals were not running or playing. They simply were lying in the grass, staring forlornly at the pathway across the Rainbow Bridge. The old dog took his place among them, watching the pathway and waiting.yet not knowing for what he was waiting.

One of the newer dogs at the Bridge asked a cat who had been there longer to explain what was happening. The cat replied, "Those poor animals were abandoned, turned away, or left at rescue places, but never found a home on earth. They all passed on with only the love of a rescuer to comfort them. Because they had no people to love them, they have nobody to escort them across the Rainbow Bridge."

The dog asked the cat, "So what will happen to those animals?" Before the cat could answer, the clouds began to part and the cold turned to
bright sunshine. The cat replied, "Watch, and you will see."

In the distance was a single person, and as he approached the Bridge the old, infirm and sad animals in the field were bathed in a golden light.
They were at once made young and healthy, and stood to see what their fate would be. The animals who had previously gathered at the pathway bowed their heads as the person approached. At each bowed head, the person offered a scratch or hug. One by one, the now youthful and healthy animals from the field fell into line behind the person. Together, they walked across the Rainbow Bridge to a future of happiness and unquestioned love.

The dog asked the cat, "What just happened?"

The cat responded, "That was a rescuer. The animals gathered along the pathway bowing in respect were those who had found their forever homes
because of rescuers. They will cross over when their people arrive at the Bridge. The arrival here of a rescuer is a great and solemn event, and as a
tribute they are permitted to perform one final act of rescue. They are allowed to escort all those poor animals they couldn't place
on earth across the Rainbow Bridge."

The dog thought for a moment, then said, "I like rescuers." The cat smiled and replied, "So does heaven, my friend. So does heaven

Not all kids are college bound. We still need people to do things like, I don't know...farm so there is food? Mechanics, Carpenters etc... you are underappreciated and yet so needed.

The Military. Well, I cannot convey in words how much respect I have for All who serve: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard. Bless You All. 

Which brings me to the kids. I have one in college, it's her 2nd year (assuming they reopen after Florence)...mercy. She's going to be a pediatric oncologist. Kid has the brains and determination to do it, but what I admire most, she has the heart. 

The youngest, is also probably the smartest and has no idea what she wants to be when she "grows up". She keeps getting pushed by her father and stepmother, the school, teachers...what school do you want to go to, what are you going to major in etc. etc.

Then she came to me and I told her, baby at 16, I didn't know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. You haven't lived enough, experienced enough to really make that decision.  I think very few actually do. You know where I stand on this though. You can go to a community college and get some basic courses down, go to a major university, enlist but what you will not do is take a year off to find yourself. Not happening. I got your back as long as you are moving forward. 

Then she took a test. The ASVAB. The highest you can score is a 99 and she brings in a 96. She's a Lt. Colonel in the ROTC and is getting letters, emails, even text messages from every branch of service we have. 

Is she military bound? More than likely. 

Will it piss her father off? Without a doubt.

Will I support her decision? Of course.

Does it scare the hell out of me? Absolutely.

Thankfully she has opted to not graduate this fall (she's eligible) because she wants to play soccer her senior year...so I have some more time to wrap my head around this. I'm already prone to going full out Momma Bear when someone thinks about hurting one of mine and to have one enlist...oh my.

I really prefer to keep my personal life off FU, except for the fun/happy stuff or some of the silly things I do (and yeah, do a lot of those).  I debated over sharing this, but since I simply adore some of you and consider you friends (not all of you freaks)! I figured I would go ahead...and only because if I act strange, I want you to know that it is not you....

I recently got some terrible news.  My Dad has been diagnosed as being in the final stages of liver failure.  It isn't good.  Other than my brothers and my daughters, he is the only "blood" family I have left.  It's tearing me apart inside. I am telling you this not because I want any sympathy or anything, you know me and I'm not like that.  What I would like though is for you to know that if I seem distant, or start rambling for no reason...well, there is a reason. I'm trying hard to keep it together, but some days or even hours...it just hits me.

For right now, other than this post.. I really don't want to talk about it....I just can't. I am trying to wrap my head and heart around this and haven't gotten there yet....

If I am here, I am looking to escape reality for just a bit.  A little distraction and some happy news. 

So...let's have a drink or two, shall we? 

Love,

JWH

So mad..not even funny...it has been a very, very long time since I was so mad, I was shaking.  The good thing about a small town, everybody knows everybody.  The bad thing about a small town, everybody knows everybody.

Driving past the school an hour or so after school let out, and I see a child walking off the property.  Since there is literally nothing around for miles, this is very out of the norm.  So I turn the car around and pull off to the side.  He's maybe 10, maybe. I smile at him and say, "hey, I know you, your name is Lucas, right?" He smiles and says yes.  I ask him if he knows me and he says he does, but he is not sure of my name.  So I introduce myself and ask what is he doing out here all alone.  He said he had to stay after to get some help with math...yeah, math can be tricky I said.  So, are you waiting for your mom to come get you? He said no.  I asked how he was getting home and he said he had to walk.  (almost 7 miles).  I asked him if he would be ok if I gave him a ride home and would he like to call his mom and see if it was ok.  He said he didn't know her number, but yes please, he would like a ride.  So he gets in and we head towards his house. 

Pull up to the house and the car is in the drive.  I tell him that I will walk him to the door to make sure everything is ok.  He smiles, this kid is so damn cute!  His mom (Nancy) comes to the door as we are walking up.  I said "hey Nancy, saw Lucas walking so I brought him home". She just looks at me (looks like she is in the clothes that she slept in and a shower is very, very debateable).  I said, "Everything alright?  Car broke down or you aren't feeling well?". She said-nope, everything is ok. I said well Nancy, why was Lucas walking?  That is way too far for a little boy to walk and it would have been past dark before he got here.  She said "if he's such a dumb ass that he has to stay after, then he can very well walk his fucking ass home" and reaches out as if to smack him...  I turned to Lucas and said " sweetie, I think I left my phone in the car, would you please go look for it and look real good, under the seats and everything", he scampers off.

I turn to Nancy "How you raise your child is your business, but when you neglect or abuse any child- it becomes mine. Now, you and that boy are my business and ask anyone around, I take care of business.   I know his daddy left you and you are going through some troubles, but that is no way to treat your boy and you damnn well know it".  

Nancy: what are you gonna do about it?

Me: Well, the way I see it, we have to options here.  You can treat that boy decent, treat him like a Momma should and I will give you as much help as I can.  I know a lot of people and together, we can all make sure you two are taken care of until you get things sorted.

Nancy: hand on hip, full attitude- you are giving me options? who the hell are you--your short punk ass can't give anyone "options"

Me (speaking quietly, almost whisper): Well, if you don't like option 1, then I promise you won't like option 2.  I'm an approved foster parent for the county and one phone call and he will be leaving with me.  Then once I get him home, I will come back and You and Me? We are gonna have a Reckoning and I promise, by the time my short ass is done with you,  you will know the error of your ways, Hell, you might even find the Lord and beg forgiveness....now what's it gonna be? I've had a long day and I can go either way--your choice--right here, right now.

And I stared and waited...she finally said, I don't need no trouble.

Me: You are right, you don't.  I will be back by tomorrow, the next day and probably the day after and I will check on Lucus. You will get yourself cleaned up and you will pull your act together...if you need help, let me know, but You will Not treat him like that again, understand? she nods.

Really ready to break something- I calmly ask her if we are done and in agreement, she says yes. 

Lucas comes back up to the porch with the strangest look on his face...Ma'am, I looked and I looked real hard and I'm sorry, I can't find the phone.  

I smile and said, Silly Me- it's right here in my pocket-but you are such a sweetie for going and looking for it for me--told him I had to go, but I would come back and visit if he liked. He smiled and gave me a hug and said 'when"?  Hugging him, I looked over at Nancy and said, why Lucas, I think maybe tomorrow what about you? 

xo