(...con't)
The other common code of conduct that we hear of in the Pagan community is "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, love under will." This comes from Aleister Crowley, from his book entitled The Book of the Law. Now knowing some of the things that we do about Crowley, it's almost humorous to think of him in a discussion of ethics, except to point to what not to do maybe! However, this is a very powerful outlook on developing your own set of personal ethics.
In my understanding "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will" does not mean you may do as you wish and that is it. It is speaking of your TRUE will, your TRUE purpose in life. If you are following your true or higher will and purpose you will not come into conflict with another's will so therefore you do not have to worry about stepping on anyone else's toes. So you don't have to worry about harming another because you are in touch with the divine, and you are following your own spiritual path and will, which will not cause harm or conflict with another. Of course, we still have conflicts with people. One way to look at this is as a spiritual lesson for either you or the other person. If you are seeking to control another or harm another, this is not your true will. This is based upon the belief that every person is an individual, and as an individual you should be true to your own nature or consciousness. You must find your true will and make all of your actions subservient to the one great purpose. This again leads to conscious living.
If ethics are codes of personal and community conduct, then etiquette is a code of social conduct. Etiquette is defined as - the practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority, forms of conduct prescribed by polite society, code of correct conduct, also decorum denotes conformity with established standards of manners or behavior, the forms required by good breeding, or prescribed by authority, to be observed in social or official life, observance of the proprieties of rank and occasion, conventional decorum, ceremonial code of polite society, rules governing acceptable behavior.
Just like Emily Post and polite society, we in the Pagan community have behavior that is expected from us in how we interact with that community. In my opinion, etiquette is something sorely lacking in many Pagans. They are not taught certain things about how we interact with each other. This could be because maybe you didn't have a teacher, or your teacher didn't know them either. Or it could be because you or those who taught you just didn't care, it wasn't important to them. I feel that etiquette is VERY important. It keeps us civilized, it aids us in how we interact, and it shows the outside world that we know how to act.
Beyond the mundane world and it's social etiquette, lets take a look at some things that are common among Pagan paths, especially the Wiccan path.
1. You should never touch someone else's magickal tools and items without their express permission. If you see something you like and want to touch, then ASK. Don't just hold out your hand for it, or just pick it up. A person leaves an imprint of their energy on what they touch, and they may not want someone else's energy on their magickal items. This includes athames all the way to stones and jewelery. Do not take offense if you ask and are told no.
2. The way you live reflects on our whole community. You should always respect others, no matter their path. Inside your own religion there is a certain higher respect given each other, as Children of the Goddess. This comes from a basic understanding of the hardships of the path, and the process we all go through in some way to evolve. It can be equated to any secret society and its initiation process and path of self-discovery. This path is not for everyone, and if you take it seriously, will change your life in ways you could never imagine. Any path that causes growth can be difficult. We link with others that are going through the same thing we are and take strength from and learn from them.
3. We endeavor to hold ourselves to a high standard of living our spiritual lives that the mundane world does not. Therefore we support each other, lending a hand when the pitfalls of the world come about.
4. When someone gives of themselves to teach or guide, we recognize that person's giving, and respect it. Not all of us are called to teach, and those who are offer a valuable service that should not be taken for granted.
5. When you are called to teach or guide, you have been given a very serious part to play in your community. You should never abuse it in any way. It also does not mean that you may use it as a way to gain power over, or look down upon any other person. We are all where we should be on our path, and it does not mean a thing that you have 10 or 20 years of service and someone else has one. We are all equal in the eyes of the Gods. If you are a teacher, you are held to an even higher state of conduct. You must never involve yourself in anything that could cause harm to your students or to the Craft. You should never do anything that would bring a bad light on us. For instance, you should never become romantically involved with one of your students. You should not condone the use of illegal drugs, or alcohol if the person is not of age. You should not use your position to control your students, or make them dependent on you. The goal is to aid a person on this path. You supply the seed as a teacher. You cannot take them by the hand and learn from them, or be easy on them when you should be honest.
6. In that same light, those who would be considered an elder in our faith are given a large amount of respect. The wisdom that is gained from following this path for 10, 20 or 30 years is an asset to our community, and we should respect the Elders of the community for what they have learned and what they teach us.
7. Due to the advent of the internet, there is a phenomenon growing among new seekers that is very disturbing. It involves not understanding the hard work it takes to learn the Old Ways, or the dedication and self sacrifice those who follow, and especially those who teach and guide give to the path. From this lack of understanding, new seekers think they can go to any page on the net, learn what they can and be done with it. It also leads them to think that they can ask for what they want, and someone will just hand it over. For example, I have been asked to send someone a copy of my BOS. This shows me that the person requesting this has no idea of what a BOS is, what it stands for and the process that is gone through to acquire it. This is flat out rude to begin with. This person is wanting their religion hand fed to them. They want to skip the hard work, the dedication, the pitfalls and the trials, and get right to the reward. This is simply not how it's done. This person wants the secrets and mysteries handed to them on a silver platter, without having to leave the comfort of the computer chair and work for them. This isn't possible. I am here to say STOP. Be mindful of what you are asking. You can't go to the net, read a page or two, then go ask someone for their BOS, or even ask them to teach you. There must be effort on your part. You are not an adept after reading a page, or a book, or even ten books. The mysteries cannot be handed to you on a silver platter and you are a master of the universe. This is what I call lazy Wicca, and through lazy Wicca you will never come to experience the mysteries because they come through dedication, hard work and a personal dedication to the Gods.
8. Those who are out of the closet must NEVER give away the secrets of their brothers and sisters. You should never give any personal information. You should never tell the secrets of a coven, who it's leaders are, who the members are or any other information. We must honor our vows and protect those who for whatever reason have chosen to remain hidden from the eyes of the world.
9. For those who are out of the closet, your life and your actions must be above reproach in the eyes of the world. As an open pagan, you may be the only one that a non-pagan every sees. They will see every Pagan in you. So in all things you must be truthful. You must live with dignity and honor.
In our discussion of ethics and etiquette the point I was trying to impress upon you is this: We have become a society who thinks that we may do as we please, act as we please, and there are no consequences. We fight with the Christians. We complain about how they fight amongst themselves. We sneer at them when they point to another of them and say how that person is wrong and they way they practice is wrong. Yet, WE DO THE SAME THING. When I meet a fellow priestess, I treat her with respect as a person, and doubly so as a priestess, since I know how hard that path can be, to have dedicated your life and your service to the Gods and the Old Ways. If I meet someone who has been walking the path for 20 or 30 years, I respect that person because of the knowledge they have obtained in that time. That is not to say my 10 years is less, or they are 'more spiritual' than I am. It is saying that this path is not an easy one all the time, and to have lived it every day for that amount of time is deserving of respect. I was taught as a child to respect my elders, and I believe that is still a valid lesson. The elders of this path can teach us things that we have never even thought of. At the same time, as an elder, you should always remember what it was like to take your first stumbling steps on this path and how you may have longed for some guidance. It is just as wrong to be an elder, and act as if you know everything, or someone who is only 20 or whatever age could never be a spiritual person. We all must remember our ethics and etiquette, and encourage each other every day.
We have forgotten to practice our personal ethics, and have thrown etiquette out the window. We have forgotten Emily Post and Miss Manners, and have gone on about our merry little way to fight like cats and dogs without even offering basic human respect for those with diverging views, and this troubles me. It is a plague that is infecting our community. The Witch Wars continue. We struggle to make our way the right way, even if we don't realize we are doing this. We forget the very basic teaching that we are all connected and that all paths are valid as long as they fulfill our spiritual needs.
Let us remember our ethics. Let us live our lives with honor, treating all of life with respect. Follow your own path, without interference into another's. Work hard, study hard and receive the blessings of a life well lived.
