Yeah I left Charles on Saturday. Everyone is really proud of me that I got out of there. But its 2:21am here now and I'm sittin' here about to start cryin'. Everyone tells me that it was the right thing to do. If its right, then how come I still miss him? I mean yeah I still love him. *sighs* I jus don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go back to him or jus go home. I mean I really REALLY want to go home so badly, because omg. I don't know even know how to describe how much I miss my family n friends. And when I left them, it was like half of me stayed there with them. These are the kind of feelings that I keep bottle up inside me, jus waitin' to be burst out to anyone that is willing to listen to me. But I can't actually speak them out into words, only type them out on here. I still feel like crap and depressed and homesick. But there is some of me is actually healing. I do have some good memories with him, and whatnot. How can I jus throw away a 7-month relationship jus doin' that in one day? Sometimes I think I'm jus dreamin' and I would jus wake up from this bad dream, wake up back in my own bed over in Illinois. I feel hopeless now and *sighs* I don't know.
