Scared
There are lots of things in life that are unknown to us. Being afraid is part of human nature, but always being scared to take chances is never going to make anything easier.
We don’t know where we are going or where we might end up, but that is what life is all about. Things in life were never meant to be easy, but do they always have to be so hard. I wonder does anything ever come easy for anyone, or is it just me. Can anyone answer this one for me?
I have walked the line that everyone has expected of me. That was not working for me after time, so I decided to try a different way. I started to change and do things that people did not expect of me. This doesn’t seem to be working for me either. Where should I go next or what should I do. I just don’t know anymore.
Scared of where I am going and what I am becoming. It is on the border of being a dangerous journey, where there may be no turning back from. I am just so unsure of so many things in my life right now. Scared of failing those in my life and failing myself. I just don’t know anymore.
I am on a roller coaster ride, where it seems that there is no end. And sometimes that end seems close, but then it seems to come crashing down all around me. I am getting more confused and more scared with each passing minute of each new day.
I just keep hiding all the hurt and all the pain, because I don’t want to have anyone see this part of me. I don’t want them to see me weak inside. I just want to give up some days, because it seems to me it might be easier this way. It just doesn’t seem fair sometimes, all this pain I must endure all alone and never let anymore understand the pain and hurt that is inside. Is this fair, is this right, I just do not know. I just don’t know how to let anyone see.
I want to be all that I can be and not be afraid, but then I am so scared that it will make it all worse for me. They always say you learn from your mistakes but I am so afraid that the mistakes I have made will bring me deeper down in this dark cave I have buried my whole life in.
On the outside people see this happy, strong person who can do just about anything. But inside I am slowly dieing and drowning from all the hurt and pain. I don’t know how long I can survive like this and continue on. But I am so scared to stop and really look and see or even let anyone truly in to help me.
Will someone help me take away all this pain and misery hidden inside for no one to truly see and understand. Do I take that chance to let them know it all, or do I continue on this path that seems to be burying me deeper and deeper in this dark tunnel I am living in constantly.
