I am so fuckin sick and tired of EX's!! Why am the one that has to do his dirty work when he decides he is not coming to pick up the boys? Why do I have to be the one to disappoint them? It's just not fuckin fair.
He can't leave the past in the past, and it's just tearing us further apart. I dread the phone ringing and seeing his name come across it. If answer, its hell to pay. If I don't he just keeps blowin the fuckin up til I finally do, and by that time I'm pissed, and all shit hits the fan anyway. I was sleeping soundly tonight, then the fuckin rang. I ignored the first 3, but he never stops. So my dumbass answers and its an instant fight. Now I'm awake, pissed, I have a fuckin headache from hell, and I need to rant. I have to tell my boys tomorrow that their daddy is not coming to pick them up again. I get to see the disappointment on their lil faces, not him. I'm kinda sorry for leaving my husband, cause obviously thats all I knew for 7 yrs, but I'm really sorry for what it has done to our babies. Sometimes i miss the life that I once had, but then I think about the reason I left in the first damn place. But still I wonder if I did what was right for the boys?! Guess I'll never know!!
