perfect nothing.son of no man
morning
the sky, it is falling
the night, it is calling
the sun, it is beating down on me
stepping
out of the doorway
out of my old clothes
out of the life, i wish to shed
looking, around the corner
stepping with instinct
walking, as if i owned the world
taking
in the new sights
in the new smells
of the new liberated me
conscience
all is empty
i'm no longer happy
reality just broke through my skin!
bye
bye
goodbye
goodbye to you, you little fucker
bye
goodbye
bye
goodbye to you!
lookout!
lookout!
lookout!
your window!
fucker
fucker
MOTHERFUCKER
camera
the paper is loaded
the news it is bullshit
the pictures of fake and empty lives
feeling
as though i'm trapped
as though i am worthless
as though i just should not exist
fucked up
i'm not insane
i'm not crazy
my shoes are just too fucking tight
flying
i have new wings now
i could make it
if i just get real
and jump
fuck, fuckfuckfuck, fuck fuck
(oh how i love it)
fuck, fuckfuckfuck, fuck fuck
(when you FUCK ME LIKE THAT!)
bye
goodbye
bye
goodbye to you, you little fucker
bye
goodbye
bye
goodbye to you
lookout
lookout
lookout
your window
fucker
fucker
fucker
MOTHERFUCKER
you lie
you cheat
you fuck
your way
to my head
alone
i bleed
the words
that scream
in my head
you suck
the fear
that bleeds
in my head
suck
suck
suck
my head
suck
suck
suck
my head!
my head!
my head!
--------------
you know, really.
i've been having issues sleeping the past few months. restless, at best, for four-five hours. awake 'til four in the morning, awake at 930, and why? i don't really have a clue, i could blame the computer, but that's more a means to an end. i could blame sheer laziness, and that may be part of it, but that's not all. i mean, there are many things it could be, but what i'm really wondering about is this lethargy, this apathy. yeah well, it's not really apathy. it's submission. subliminal submission. truth of the matter is, i'm seething with animosity, but i'm too nice... too nice for my own good. i can't just fucking tear into people, why? because, despite a lot of things, my rhetoric for one, i don't want to hurt peoples wee little feelings. part of it's because... no, it's just because i'm too bloody nice. i've had to deal with a fair amount of shit, of personal attacks, and you know, i'm not going to do that. just because i hate a little bit of everyone, and i do, it's not my place to slice into them unprovoked. rarely, it's provoked. sometimes it is, in the past, but lately, it's just been little things. little annoyances.
eh, fuck it. what's the point in it? i'll find a way to sleep. no point in ranting and raving here.
