i got this from a friend thought it was funny
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although
very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with
his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. "I'm going to have a
beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know...
they have frozen glasses."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer
mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar, you know, there's swearing, dirty
words and all that."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SH_T! SIT YOUR AS_
DOWN, SHUT THE HEL_ UP, DRINK YOUR G_ _ DAM_ BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND
EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED A_S ISN'T GOING TO ANY
FUC_IN' BAR! THAT SH_T IS OVER, GOT IT, JACK_SS?"
And they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?