The Kink Factory's blog: "BDSM , My Lifestyle"

More from http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html Techniques Adding realism to scenarios Many scenarios include the submissive being taken by "force". One fun technique that can make this more fun is to buy cheap clothing from a thrift store that can be torn, sliced, or cut off the submissive. Cheap, disposable clothing can lend a fun air of realism to the scenario. Extended Bondage For people who like bondage, one thing that can be fun is to have the submissive sleep bound. This is most easily done if the submissive's hands and feet are bound together; extended bondage in one position (as, for example, if the submissive were tied to the bed) can become quite uncomfortable. Note that if you do this, you should not leave the submissive in a room alone, and you should bind the submissive in a way which can be released quickly in case the house catches fire ! Extended Penetration With practice, it is possible to train a person's body to accept vaginal and/or anal penetration for extended periods of time. You can, for example, have a submissive wear a dildo vaginally throughout the day, or make a submissive wear an anal plug as he or she does errands or housework. The key is to start small--a dildo or anal plug that seems quite small at first can become too big after a period of time--and not push the submissive if it becomes painful. Patience is essential. What this does is makes it impossible for the submissive to ignore the penetration, whatever else he or she may be doing. This in turn can keep the submissive constantly thinking about and constantly craving sexual stimulation. I have even made my lovers keep a dildo inserted as they sleep--which tends to make the night filled with nonstop erotic dreams... Of course, this can be adapted easily for male submissives as well, by having them sleep with a butt plug inserted. Orgasm Denial This is a fun, and frustrating, technique that can bring some of the spark back into sex. There are a hundred variations, but the basic idea is simple: prevent your partner from having an orgasm for a length of time (a day, two days, a week, whatever you want). You shouldn't make it easy; you can, for example, require that your partner have sex one or more times a day, or masturbate regularly (this works well when combined with a ritual of some sort), but your partner is not allowed any sexual release. Over time, the sexual tension builds up, and your partner becomes perpetually aroused. When done over a period of several days or longer, this technique creates a very powerful level of sexual excitement. When you do finally allow your partner release, it's an extremely intense experience. Sensory Deprivation Tactile senses are enhanced when other senses are taken away. One way to make any experience much more intense is to tie down your partner, then blindfold your partner and also prevent your partner from hearing. The blindfold is easy; preventing someone from being able to hear is a bit more difficult, but there are many ways to accomplish this. The most straightforward is to use a pair of common earplugs (the kind made of soft wax that seals over the ear works well), earmuffs, or both. Some BDSM shops make special hoods called "ball hoods" which are designed to cover the eyes and ears; they're expensive (and psychologically intimidating) but work well. For a more high-tech approach, you can use a pair of headphones--the kind that fit entirely over the ear--connected to something that produces static, like a TV with no signal (or even a tape recording of static). In any event, a partner who cannot see or hear will tend to feel other things much more intensely, so combining bondage and sensory deprivation with other ideas on this page works very well. Human Sex Doll This is a good way to explore your partner and get your feet wet in D/s. The premise is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and take any action, and the submissive partner remains completely passive throughout. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role in any way whatsoever as the dominant explores the submissive. A variant on this idea involves tying the submissive securely in a sexually available position, and alternately exploring the submissive's body in humiliating and/or painful ways--for example, by probing the submissive's orifices with dildoes or other toys, clamping the submissive's nipples, and so on--and having sex with the submissive, during which time the submissive is forbidden to make any sound or respond in any way whatsoever. Failure to remain completely passive earns a punishment. Enforced Availability This works best with a female submissive, and is especially good for those of you with an objectification fetish. Choose a specific period of time, such as one particular day, when your partner is required to be available for sex at all times, regardless of her state of arousal. During this time, she is required to do whatever is necessary to keep herself ready for sexual penetration or intercourse. Periodically throughout the day, you should take advantage of her availability by taking her sexually, without warning and regardless of what she's doing at the time. Keeping herself available and well-lubricated is part of her responsibility; she should be ready for you constantly, at any time. Eroticising everyday activities There are a number of ways you can integrate D/s into things that normally don't have any connection with sex, eroticising them. For example, you might go into a pet store and have your submissive try on various collars right there in the store, then buy the one that looks the best. Or, you might send the submissive partner into a grocery store to buy innocuous things which suggest a sexual context--such as a cucumber and a box of condoms. This creates a psychological effect where the submissive is convinced that everybody knows exactly what's going on (and he or she may be right...). Sensation play This is a technique suited for anyone with a very sensual approach to sexual exploration. The idea is very simple; start by blindfolding your lover (and tying him or her down, if that sounds like fun to you), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover'sbody with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, coarse sandpaper, and other textures. A bit more intensity can be had by using a dull butter knife you've kept in the freezer for a few hours (the cold edge of a dull knife can feel very sharp!). Public play There are many techniques involving D/s in a public space, particularly where feelings of vulnerability are created. Send your partner to work wearing a piece of very sexy lingerie under her clothing (or, if the submissive is male, wearing a pair of women's underwear); this makes a constant, discreet reminder of his or her position. Or, if you're feeling a bit more risqué: A rope harness can be made with thin twine or cord. Tie the harness around your partner's torso (easy-to-follow instructions for tying a basic rope harness are available here), and then have your partner wear the harness to work or while running errands, beneath his or her clothing. As the person moves, the harness shifts and moves against his or her body, constantly reminding the submissive that it is there. Take your partner out to a very ritzy dinner at an upscale restaurant. Midway through dinner, quietly slip your partner some sort of sex toy. Order your partner to go to the restroom, go into a stall, strip naked, and masturbate to orgasm. As a particularly evil twist, you can order your partner to return to the table still wearing the toy. Doing something like this is a very effective way of creating a delightful sense of vulnerability. Another idea: If the submissive is female, have her do something like go out to a convenience store late at night wearing a skimpy nighty. This creates an even greater sense of vulnerability. Note: If you experiment with this, it might be a good idea for safety's sake to accompany the submissive, to keep an eye on her... to The Sealed List This technique is good for long-distance relationships, or if the dominant partner will be leaving home for a time. Make a list of actions or commands, one per page, on a series of sheets of paper, and seal each one in an envelope. Put a random number on each envelope. The instructions sealed into each envelope should direct the submissive to open another envelope, perhaps immediately or perhaps the next day. Create some dummy envelopes too, so that you'll know if your submissive partner opened them. (By keeping the scenarios sealed in envelopes, you can preserve the suspense; the submissive can't open all the envelopes and read them all at once.) Each envelope should direct the submissive to do something sexual that will take a fairly good length of time. Conditioning (part I) The human brain is a remarkable organ; creative, good at pattern matching and association, and capable of learning. This affords all manner of ways to have some kinky fun. One idea that works particularly well is to condition your partner to want something which he or she normally wouldn't want, and to anticipate and even ask for things that test limits. Pick something that's within your partner's hard limits, but that normally your partner would never vountailry want or ask for. Something that you might otherwise use as a punishment is good; something your partner finds humiliating, for example, or otherwise challenging to endure. Describe how you are going to do this thing to your partner. Take your time; let the apprehension build. Explain in loving detail what you're going to do, and how it's going to feel. When your partner is writhing and twisting in apprehension, explain that you're not going to do it until they ask you to. And tell them to make it convincing. Don't give it to your partner right away. Order your partner to keep asking for it until you are absolutely convinced that they want it. Tell them to beg for it, and to describe how badly they want you to do it. Only after your partner is begging and pleading should you do to them whatever it is. The interesting thing about doing this is that human responses work both ways; our emotional state influences our actions, but our actions also influence our emotional state. A person who finds himself or herself begging for something will really begin to want that thing, even if he or she would not ordinarily want it at all! Conditioning (part II) Another fun and kinky way to play with the mind's incredible flexibility is to use good old-fashioned operant conditioning in the bedroom. Pick a word, or a name, and say it when your partner reaches orgasm. Keep saying it as your partner comes. Continue to do this every time you have sex; gradually use the word just the instant before your partner comes, then a little bit longer before orgasm, then a little bit longer... With work and practice, it's often possible to train your partner to orgasm whenever they hear that word. Like, in the mall, in the office, anywhere. Conditioning (part III) Another take on conditioning is to find some kind of object--a piece of jewelry like a ring or bracelet works well--which the submissive partner will wear only when highly aroused. First, arouse the submissive partner, by whatever technique you like. When he or she is extremely aroused, or close to orgasm, have him or her put on the jewelry. (You can, if you like, refuse to let the submissive partner orgasm, and keep him or her on the edge of orgasm for an extended period of time.) Remove the jewelry if the arousal starts to fade. After a while, the jewelry itself will become associated with arousal. When this happens, it will be possible to become highly aroused simply by putting on the jewelry. Conditioning (part IV) This works particularly well with male submissives, but can be adapted to female submissives as well. It's a two-part process. The first part is to have the submissive wear a bell or chime on some part of his or her body during sex (with male submissives, tied around the base of the cock is a good place to start). When you do this over a period of time, the submissive will begin to associate that sound with sex. Then, after you've done this for a while, have him or her wear it other places in public--for example, to work or while shopping. It does not need to be worn in the same place; wearing it around an ankle works well. The sound will constantly remind the submissive of sex, and will help to keep him or her in an aroused state. to Dirty Talking/Dirty Writing Many people enjoy "talking dirty" in bed. There are a number of ways to do this, ranging from describing sexual fantasies before or during sex to using graphic language to describe whatever sex act you're doing at the moment. Some people feel awkward or silly doing this, but that's something that's easily fixed by practice; it doesn't take very long at all for it to become quite natural. You can take this to the next level by "writing dirty." There are a couple ways to do this: Write out sexual fantasies. The dominant partner creates some kind of scenario or setting, which the submissive fantasises about while masturbating, and then writes a story about. The scenario can be as simple ("Fantasize about having sex in the shower") or as complex ("Imagine that you wake up one morning after being out partying late the night before. You're naked, lying in your bed surrounded by sex toys, with an empty bottle of lube and a videotape lying next to you. You have no memory of the night before and no idea how you got home. What do you do?") as you want. Write on the submissive's body. Talking dirty is fun; drawing and writing on your partner's body is fun; writing dirty things on your partner's body is even more fun. You can write something as simple as dirty words (such as writing "slut" across your partner's chest), or write short descriptions of what you plan to do to your partner just before you do it. You can even combine this with other ideas; during dinner at a restaurant, send your partner into the restroom with a Magic Marker and tell your partner to strip, write dirty words on his or her body, masturbate, and come back out. This can be combined with public play. You can, for example, write things like "property of so-and-so" in large letters on the submissive's chest, then send him or her to work that way. This can also be reversed; one person can write on his or her own body things he or she would like to have happen, and let his or her parter discover the writing as things progress. Long-Distance Relationships Distance need not be a barrier to sexuality. There are a number of things you can do to keep the sex life interesting even when you're separated. Some of the ideas already mentioned here, such as sealed lists of instructions, work quite well over long distances; others are made easier by Webcams, phones, and other modern conveniences. Some of the ideas discussed under "public play" work well over long distances, too. For instance, the dominant partner can send the submissive partner into a restaurant for dinner, then call the submissive on a cell phone during the meal and instruct him or her to go into the bathroom and masturbate. If the submissive partner has a cell phone with a built-in camera, a very nice variant on this idea is to instruct the submissive partner to take a picture of himself or herself right at the moment of orgasm, with the camera, and then send it to the dominant partner before going back out to finish the meal. to Conventional Webcams make very good tools when you want to "reach out and touch someone." Some of the things you can do are obvious, such as having your partner strip and touch himself or herself in front of the camera. Others are more fiendish, like: * Orgasm denial: It's great fun to tell your partner to masturbate, over and over, then tell him or her to stop right on the edge of orgasm. Keep doing this for an extended period of time, then send your partner to bed horny and frustrated. * Choose a part of the body at random--breasts, cock, pussy, whatever. Focus on that part of the body; watch as you instruct your partner to fondle, tease, torture (with clothespins or rope or whatever you like), and otherwise stimulate that part of his or her body, only without touching anything else and without orgasm. * Messy fun: set up the Webcam near the shower and watch as your partner makes a mess on his or her body with finger paints, whipped cream, French silk pie, or whatever else strikes your fancy, then gets clean. * Pocket pager: The submissive partner wears a pager. A few times throughout the day, the dominant partner sends the submissive partner a page; the submissive partner must then stop what he or she is doing and masturbate to orgasm within 20 minutes of receiving the page. * Online instructions: if the dominant partner has access to a Web server, he or she can leave written instructions for the submissive, much like the instructions you might put into a sealed envelope. The submissive partner logs on with the Webcam, reads the instructions, and does whatever the Web page describes while the dominant partner watches.