Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Cal, and he lived in the sewer with his rochweiler pal.
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve, so he packed up his bookbag and had to move.
To a city in New Jersey where he lived in a tree and he worked in a doughnut/pizza/taco factory.
And he played on the company basketball team and every single night he had a strange recurring dream.
Where he was wrestling Trish Stratus in a pool of whipped cream, but that's really not important to the story.
Well the very next year he met a dental hygienist with a paycheck tattooed on her arm.
But he didn't keep in touch, and he lost her number, then he got himself a job on a ravioli farm.
And he spent his life savings on a split-level mansion, twenty miles below the surface of the earth,
And he really makes a mighty fine peanut butter & bacon sandwich, for what it's worth.
Then, one day Cal was on the beach, kicking up some sand, when he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man.
He was caught in a fish net, and Cal set him free. And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be.
And it turns out he's a big shot producer on TV, so he gives Cal a contract, and what do you know
Now he's got his very own Myspace Show!!!!
