well, I'm not sure when you'll read this... probably this evening... but I was just sitting here reading old emails from you... and thinking about things that have happened since we got together... and remembering those days we weren't up each other's butts ALL the time... LIke, when I called you at 5a every single morning... even though i had just gone to bed at 12 or 3 or something. And, the nights i actually got to see you, and hang out with you... the excitement on those drives over here... and the sadness i felt driving home, because i never wanted to leave you...
And here we are, just 3 1/2 short months later... Every night, i go to bed with you... and wake up next to you each morning... usually plotting how to kill your cell phone and that god forsaken alarm... And, all of that, in this short time. I feel like, you've just always been here in my life... like, you belong here... But, despite how perfect this feels sometimes... there are problems... which are to be expected... as no relationship is perfect.
I wish you would talk to me more. About how you feel... what you're thinking.,.. your opinions on things... even if you THINK i'll get mad... I want to know YOU, and everything I possibly can know about you... I want to be able to say there isn't anything i dont know about you.... Although, i still get confused... mustard vs/ mayo... *sigh* mustard... no mayo... no beans little salsa on the side, lots of cheese and meat... lol nnoooo sour cream... :D its a learning process.
But, I really want for you to be able to tell me things... like, if I'm annoying you, bothering you, or just flat pissing you off... or even hurting your feelings... just tell me so we can talk about it... Because, talking about it makes it all better... ok, not always... but talking about shit sure helps...
Last night, after you fell asleep... i laid there thinking for awhile... I haven't been feeling well, I sleep in too late, and i wind up thinking too much at bedtime cuz I'm scared to take my meds. Dont wanna NOT wake up (as sick as i've been lol) But, i was thinking about us. You... me... and our lives together. I mean, I'm planning a trip this fall to my dads, and have planned you into that. We've sat and talked about things involving the girls... when they're in their teens... Adam, despite how much you piss me off sometimes, and how annoyed you make me.. I still love you with all of my heart. Nothing you say or do will change that. Sure, you push me sometimes... but, god knows, you need help and have a lot to learn... I'm not the easiest girlfriend to have. Thats why i NEED for you to takl to me about things... even if you think i'll be mad or it's not important... TALK TO ME. Thats the only way this is going to work. I have never in my life felt so close to someone I've known such a short time. At this point, I can't and never want to imagine my life with out you. You are mine... and I'm yours... i KNOW this is different because I have no desire to cheat on you... AT ALL... I mean, i lack the ability to stay faithful.... and as long as we've been together, and actually even before we were together... when we were just talking (after i'd decided i sooo wanted to be with you) Other men have just meant nothing to me. I mean sure, online i get tons of attention and its great... but no matter what, I'm always like... I love my boyfriend... I would never cheat on him... in real life or in this crazy cyber world... and that is something I've never done in my life... Thats why i know we are different... YOU are different. Every single time I look into your eyes... i feel like, crying... because, I have never been so in love with someone, and wanted to be with someone so badly in my entire life. I can't lose you. It's why I work so hard at keeping us together... and dealing with the stuff from you that i do. Which, of course could be worse...
YOu are an amazing boyfriend, Adam. You have done so much for me... And you truly make me happy. Despite the few problems we do have, which in time, I truly feel will correct themselves. I wanna wake up next to you for the rest of my life. I dont want anyone else but you...
SO, lets work on that one... that should be our goal... to make that happen....i mean, you know how i am with lyrics to songs... and i've decided certain ones do a better job of explaining things than i can
(thats the bryan adams and that one weird chick...)
I finally found someone
who knocks me off my feet
i finally found the one
who makes me feel complete
it started over coffee
we started off as friends
its funny how from simple things the best things begin this time its different, it's all because of you
its betther than it's ever been
cause we can talk it through ooo...my favorite line
was can i call you sometime
its all u had to say to take my breath away
this is it Chorus
i finally found someone
someone to share my life
i finally found the one to be with every night
cuz whatever i do it's just got to be you
my life has just begun
i finally found someone oooh someone .i finally found somenoe did i keep u waiting? (i didnt mind)
i apologize (baby that's fine)
i will wait forever just to know you were mine (ooh)
you know i love your hair ( sure it looks right?)
i love what you wear (isnt it too tight?)
you're exceptional
i can't wait for the rest of my life Chorus ohh my life has just begun i've finally found someone
and whatever i do..it's just got to be you
ohh my life has just begun....
i've finally found someone...........
(Valentine}
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
I mean, sure, lyrics are cheesy and all, but they describe how i feel, so well...
Adam, I truly love you. With all of my heart and soul. I'm yours, as long as you want me :)
