I received a call from Jim who introduced himself as a financial advisor from Smith Barney. He was offering a free review of my portfolio. “Oh good!” I said. “Which segment of my financial empire would you like to talk about first?”
“Well, what are your investment strategies, Chris?”
Okay, so Jim’s a little slow on the uptake. “Ya know, Jim, I was thinking about investing in chinchillas, but then I got a tip on the Ever Shine Diamond Mine from the colored guy down the hall. It seems that he got in on the ground floor and his investment has grown exponentially over the past few weeks. It looks like there could be a lot of untapped potential there.”
“Tell me, Chris, what stocks do you own?”
This guy’s unbelievable. “Well, I have about five thousand shares of Enron.”
“Chris, I think it might be worth our while to get together and take a look at your holdings and see if they really fit your plans for the future.”
I give up. “Hey, Jim.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know how my name ended up in your computer, but I’m going to have to kite a couple of checks just to see the end of the month.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry, dude.”
“That’s okay, Chris. I wish you the best of luck.”
“Hey, Jim.”
“Yes?”
“You might want to take a hard look at that Ever Shine thing while there’s still time to jump on the wagon.”
