I'm an old man. Tonight I dressed in my finest cardigan, visited the third environment, that which is the Starbucks, said hello to my friendly neighborhood baristas all aglow in the throws of the premature Christmas ejaculation, and drove south to city college in the heart of the finest city in all the land in hopes of seeing a somewhat bad version of Grease, the Musical, alone. The sad part wasn't that my only evening social event was this or that I went. What was worse was that it was really good. Even the sad kids they have to hide in the back row during the dance numbers were decent. There's something about amateur dramatics and the audiences, friends and families to bring about an energy and excitement rare elsewhere in the world. Maybe because a lot of people in musical theatre seem starved for attention or sexually confused or deprived and under the lights any mask is tossed aside revealing only true youth onstage. I speak from experience. We can learn from this togethership locale just as much as we can learn from staying after the show to find out which ladies in the cast had boyfriends waiting for them.
I've been crushing pretty hard lately. It seems every girl I meet I put her through the inner monologue audition to find out whether or not I'd date her. The bonus to this kind of omni-crushing slash star search is that I get to meet lots of different kinds of people and learn of a variety of trades, flavors, attitudes and opinions, all the while trying to fall in love or be rejected. I don't think I've found "the one" yet simply because I don't really care about the outcome, and probably because I'm too busy being in love with myself. I guess I'm already taken in that sense. Either way I'll write some songs about the mess so everyone who participates will receive a gift.
The rest of the weekend looks as if I'll be juggling quite a few things. I've just learned how to work the clubs, which look like bowling pins, (yes I'm talking real juggling, the anti-gravitational deceitful sidekick to prestidigitation) So tomorrow I'm going to add a toilet plunger and a melon I think. I've been playing with balls for years but now I'm moving onto to bigger and smarter objects. Finally it occurred to me that if I just started practicing, I should get it sooner or later. This is the same theory I used when I started playing guitar at 14 and surfing at 19. I always told myself to keep it up, so that when I'm 40 I can rock. So keep an eye out for me at the next IJA Festival. I'll be going under the code name, Just Darklight The Juggler. My gimmick will be that I juggle two giant letter J's while smoking a third. I'll have t-shirts for sale.
I'll leave you to ponder some random shit I have noticed:
-Walking through IKEA is the closest you'll ever get to walking thru a website.
-In Starbucks, the 12 days of Christmas actually means 48.
-Jennifer Love Hewitt has a boyfriend and isn't really my type anyway.
-The Pro-Longboarder I was searching for turned out to be a lesbian according to local gossip.
-Local Gossip sucks ass.
-Weird Al Yankovich still kicks ass. Check out his parody of "Trapped in the Closet."
-The world is going to end in 2012 according to the Mayans.
-The Mayans are about to get popular again.
-As I get older, the more I enjoy community theatre and wearing the same cardigan every day.
-As I get older. The more I truly enjoy being single.
-The more I'm single. The more I blog about it.
-Life is Tea, in the south. Pretty Sweet.
