In Memory of
"My Dad"
Walter Berry Floyd
Sept 8th 1932 - Feb 1st 2005
I always thought that those Who
said time stood still, Were wrong
and prone to exaggeration. Yet looking
through your door that early Wednesday
morning seeing you gone....my heart dropped.
Minutes turned to Millenia on that long road,
and that in every passing moment I was helpless.
I always thought that perhaps I had time to
prepare, To say the things I needed to say
to you. When I spoke to you earlier that afternoon,
when we exchanged our "I Love You's"
I knew then..
I just knew... It would be the
last I would ever hear your voice. I asked you to please
hold on.. cuz I just knew your angels from above
were decending to take and relieve you of all
your pain and suffering.
Still at that time Dad,
Just like you, my rock, my foundation, always worrying
about your little girl being
safe, getting there to you, and looking out
for me just like you always had.
Just hours before your angels came to take you home.
You left me Dad, Lord I know you were suffering
and I couldnt be there for you in the end.
Why you never let me honestly know how sick
you really were, Is beyond me. A year has past
since that day and I still
have trouble accepting that, I guess it will take
more time to understand. I guess you were
protecting your little girl.
For many years you were my blueprint Of how to be
the best I could be. Dad, You hit so many mines
On your path through life That I felt perhaps You
had cleared away for me. You steered and gave me
a cleared path to go down and I thank you.
That cheeky smerk and those shiny eyes and big
heart.. Thank You Dad...I inherited them from you.
In my dreams I enter through that door A thousand
times On a never ending loop Hoping each time it
would change, It must be wrong,
it doesn't feel
real.
Standing there, hearing the words, He's
gone sis,
Knowing I coulndn't bring you back, I
had control of everything else, but not this.
The heavens opened and lifed you up.. They took you
where now you can watch over me, with no pain, no
suffering.
When I seen you later lying in that casket So cold, so
pale, so empty, no glittering eyes, no cheeky grin,
just restfull sleep, I knew your soul had risen when
you angels came.
With my mouth dried up, my eyes swollen,
and my heart broken.. I knew you were watching over
me and saying softly
"dont cry" im ok...Deb
no more pain, no more
suffering, Its all over now
I look around at the rest of the world Getting on
with their lives, Shopping, chatting, laughing.
How can they do that? Do they not know? Do they
not care? Why do they not hurt? I want to rip out
their hearts Just to see them break So they know
how it feels to be torn apart, and bewildered.
A year has passed, and I can still
hear your voice telling me
"Be Strong", "Im ok"...
I try my hardest to live and love the way
you taught me to and carry on your goodness through
my life. You were my rock!!and I your little girl.
I WANT YOU BACK!!I MISS YOU SO
Missing you that night Feb 1st, 2005 will never
leave me, I just have to learn how to live without you...
Too many miles seperated us,
not enough time.
no I love you dad, or goodbye face to face.
Its so hard
believe in Faith, maybe one day.. but for now,
thats long shattered.
"Dad I love you"
I always will.
no matter what road I will travel, I will always carry
the tools you instilled in me. To always be the best
I can be and above all to love and respect everyone.
Why didnt I leave earlier?
Why didnt I not get there in time to tell you face to face
how much I loved you?? Dad..Did you know how much I loved you?
and do you know how much I miss you??
I love you Dad
