This is not new but its something I felt need of to write. Back in 1992, when my mother was still alive but after my father's death in '86. I was living with my mom to help take care of her in dallas texas. life was pretty normal for us when one days a beautiful lady drove up in a U-Haul. the way our apartments was set up my patio was nearest the parking lot and closest to my neighbors patio. That was the day I meet Donna Merrik. she was moving into the apartment next door to mine. she had 2 cute dogs and lots of stuff. I asked if she needed some help and she accepted with a smile. I let my mom know what was happening and closed the patio door so to keep my own dog indoors. I put her dogs onto my patio as her door would be open alot. then I helped her move in. we became fast friends at that point. over the next year we grew together. going out on 'dates' sometime double dating. sometimes we would spend all night in her apartment talking about horrible dates we had just had. I remember; with a smile, her saying one night after her date left: "I can't believe I fucked him."
We had a very special friendship she and I. she taught me something I shall never forget. "women are not just for sex." she taught me I could have a friendship with a woman and it not being sexual. we kissed only once and never went beyound that. she always wanted to keep our friendship on the purest levels by not tainting it with sex. on christmas eve my brother in arlington, tx wanted me to come spend christmas eve with him and his family. his daughter and son wanted to give me some gifts.
I had a wonderful time but at a dear cost. i got home christmas afternoon intime to see them taking donna out of her apartment. She had taken her life sometime in the night. my mother said she came over looking for me 3 times christmas eve.
Not a single day goes by I don't think about that day. not a single day goes by that I don't think "what if" What If I *had* been home. would she still be alive. What was so important that she would take her life because she could not talk to me?
I'll never know. I only know she left a note that said "please take care of my dogs". She had took a full bottle of some prescription medication.
for weeks after I was in the worst of states. wouldn't go out for anything. then I relized something very dear. Donna would not had wanted me to do this. So I turned my pain not inward and worked in crisis prevention.
instead of quiting, of putting myself out of the game. I went and helped others. I know that's what donna would be proud of.
Donna; I miss you sweetheart more now then ever. I'll never forget you and will never forgive myself for not being there.
your friend forever and ever
David
