John Doe strode into the bedroom wearing His leather postal worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed as he reached into his latex mailbag. Jane Doe, a 29 year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as he brought a knife with a nine inch blade out of the bag. "I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly, "Are you willing?" Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather."
John smiled as he bent close and cut her free of her bonds. "Strip," he ordered as he began to remove his own clothes. Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her. "Lay back on the bed," He commanded. Jane did so. John then laid on top of her. "Tonight my dear," He whispered while reaching for the light switch, "We are going vanilla!" "No!" cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.
The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties and sex three times a year.
Jane was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous where with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say, "I have the right to more than one sexual position!"
Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say No. This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement.
