Okay, So i've been with this guy for a little bit over four years now. He has his good points to him and obviously he has his bad. Who doesnt? Well anyways. I love this guy with all my heart, He means the world to me if not more. He has cheated on me so many times but it doesn't make me not love him any less. What do I seem to be dooing wrong here? try and give him whatever he needs (sexually) or any other way possible I can. but it doesn't seem good enough, Well yesterday he left for work at 12Pm. everything was find and dandy well that's a big news flash for me because he hasnt returned home sense. I havent heard one little peep from him. I have everyone after my ass saying I don't deserve this kinda treatment, But what kinda treatment do I really deserve? Like honestly. I may not be perfect in every way, But I try to do the best I can like come on not everyone in this world is perfect. But getting back to people telling me to leave him. I would if I could. It might sound really stupid but I don't think i'm good enough for anyone eles. i've gotten so use to his hateful words towards me that I think it's a normal relantionship going on. He says no one will love him as much as he loves me, So your telling me this is how you show love to people you really do love? Wow that's funny, I thought you shared everything with the person you love who you want to spend your whole life with but then again I could be highly mistaking. Yea sure he is the only one I've EVER been with. Maybe I don't understand the meaning of love yet. who knows? But anyways. I try to do everything for this man. the reason he gave me as of why he keeps cheating on me is because of his mother's death. Okay I understand that when you lose someone as close as that it can send your mind into diffrent emotions, I've been through it. Done it. But why would you go sleep with any other person possible knowing it's gonna hurt your loved ones. I've noticed alot of men have small minds (No offence) but how can someone's mind be that small? Yes, maybe I should leave him, yes maybe I should move on and let someone eles into my life knowing they could treat me alot better but honestly I don't know how to turn my feelings off that quickly. If you love someone like you truely do say so then you can't turn your feelings off of that person like turning a light switch off and on. It just doesnt work that way. Yea maybe I deserve someone that doesn't hurt me and everyway but deep down inside I really think this guy can change. But who am I kidding? if someone does it once they're gonna keep doing it. Well i guess this is the end. Sorry if it doesn't make to much sense and please dont send me stupid comments about how stupid this blog really is, you didnt have to read it I just needed some where to vent
