YOU KNOW YOURE A CHAMORRU WHEN:
1. You roll your long sleeve shirt up and call it formal;
2. You use SPAM as a main course;
3. You wear a T-shirt over your swimsuit to go swimming at the beach;
4. You’re swimming and you get out of the water because its raining;
5. You set aside a box of envelopes for “chenchuli only”;
6. You arrive at church after the offertory is done;
7. You include your chenchuli as a tax deduction;
8. You can fit your family of (5) into the front of your pickup;
9. You wear a baht chain while standing in a food-stamp line;
10. The waitress at Shirley’s says “The Usual today?”;
11. You eat spaghetti with rice;
12. You invest in (4) different raffle ticket drawings;
13. You use your whole paycheck for a “small” family barbecue;
14. You have (21) seven-day bracelets;
15. You have beer available at a kid’s birthday party;
16. You use weed eater to MOW your yard;
17. Your blue jeans measurements are Waist 40 - Length 30;
18. You ask for Catsup instead of ketchup;
19. You fill your plate up at a fiesta, then ask for a diet Pepsi;
20. Your ask for ketchup and get soy sauce;
21. Your favorite dance is the Cha-Cha;
22. You think your karaoke version sounds just like the original song;
23. You actually sit down and listen to an AMWAY presentation;
24. The stoplight turns red and you think you still have 10 seconds to pass;
25. You stand 1 hour in line at the post office for a 32-cent stamp;
26.You give directions to your home using people’s names
(Ex: You know where si John Cruz lives, almost next to Bobby Flores’ house…. I’m right across);
27. You think a vegetarian is someone who operates on pets;
28. You think softball players are “real” athletes;
29. Your idea of safe sex is when her husband or her parents don’t catch you;
30. You wash your hands after you are done eating. (Not before);
31. You collect money from your relatives when leaving the island;
32. You have a flat tire and you use the spare…. for 3 months;
AND FINALLY…
33. You know you’re a Chamorro when you can’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend because you’re related to everyone..
But you date them anyway………
