Over 16,534,047 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

Miss Sparkkles's blog: "A look Inside"

created on 12/03/2006  |  http://fubar.com/a-look-inside/b30713

I

I <3 good friends. I am lucky enough to have sweet friends who know how I am when I go out drinking and they still look forward to seeing that part of me. :) Sometimes I have those nights where I enjoy talking to strangers more than the company that I went out with. FOR ALL OF THE STUPID PEOPLE: I can only say "Hello, How are you? Good. I have something else to do. Have a good night." People must think a little bit. They must expand their horizons and not see things from only one point of view. The world is too small for people to be stuck on stupid.
I have taken too many strangers into my life. Talking to these people at work, on the street, in the club---it is so different from talking to someone from heart to heart. I have been talking and people hear me, but they don’t feel me. I AM NOT LIKE THEM AND I CANNOT PRETEND TO BE. Lately, I am seriously doubting the consciousness of the world. I tried to lose myself in everyone else, but this idea doesn’t work out for me. It turned my reality into an illusion. I became different as I broke down the barriers to the realm of the unknown. I have struggled to get as far as I am but I had forgotten for a moment that I had some place to be. I have had a different routine every day now for quite some time now. I am not sure what is out there, but I am still looking. It’s hard to regain the moment after it is lost. My third eye is blinking at you. It’s time for me to keep on going.

My astrology stuff

Ascendant in Cancer For you, probably the most important aspects of a relationship are integrity and security. You will persevere through many trials in order to make an affair work out, as long as you feel that your partner is equally committed. If there is any problem with this position, it is oversensitivity, a tendency to take remarks made in jest too seriously. This position makes you a very faithful lover, but in the liberal climate of today, an incident of unfaithfulness will be very traumatic for you. You should avoid being overly possessive in the physical sense; faithfulness belongs more to the heart than to the body. Sun in Leo Leo is the sign of the lover, and the Sun here gives your personality grace, generosity and charm. You give and receive love freely, and you surround your partner with tenderness and affection. Your innate tendency is to lavish affection on your partner, which may startle or overwhelm someone who is not accustomed to it. You can give out too much of good thing. Do not expect your lover to return your affections in the same style. Even the deepest love can be expressed in many different ways, which you may have to search for. You are a very loyal partner, as long as you are given freedom to be. You must also grant that same right to your lover and avoid possessiveness or jealousy. Loyalty comes from the heart, and you will know through feelings rather than actions if a partner is right for you. Whenever you have problems in a relationship, analyze them with your feelings, not your mind. Sun in the Second House Your style of loving is very concrete, and you go out of your way to give your lover tangible evidence of your affections. Similarly, the highest values you seek in a lover are faithfulness and loyalty, qualities you are most willing to demonstrate once you have chosen the person you feel is just right for you. It takes you quite a while to really settle into a relationship. Once that is done, you are a model of steadfastness. Whatever the twists and turns of fate, your perseverance can pull a relationship through its most difficult hours to achieve the goal you value most - a solid, enduring union of souls. Moon in Gemini Your style of lovemaking is supple and adaptable; you happily participate in any kind of loving that pleases your partner. Do not let the physical elements of sex interfere with or overcome the emotional side of loving. You should have little trouble in discussing sex openly, finding out just what your lover's tastes are and how you can best please each other. You should choose a partner who is not too possessive, for you need to know that you have freedom, even if you don't choose to exercise it. Be careful about making a personal commitment, for a lover may take it more seriously than it is meant, which could cause harm inadvertently. Moon in the Twelfth House You must be careful not to be too hasty in responding to a lover, and always think twice before committing yourself outright about any matter. There are many times when it is better to spare your lover's feelings by not rushing in and telling the whole truth, even though you feel you should. No matter what kind of affair you are in, it will take a good deal of soul searching to discover your lover's and your own true emotional motives. Hidden actions and attitudes have to be uncovered and sorted out, but the reward is a deep level of mutual self- understanding that few others achieve. For you, a truly successful love relationship is one that is intensely uplifting, even cathartic. Venus in Leo This position indicates that you have a generous helping of desire and a healthy sexual appetite. Your taste runs to all-over-the-body sensuality rather than to localized tastes. You aren't concerned with impressive accouterments; you just want pleasure to be readily available. If there is any drawback to this position, it is that you demand high standards and will not stand for stinginess or boredom. Venus in the Second House You like being surrounded by fine objects of great value, and a sumptuous setting adds immensely to your enjoyment of lovemaking. However, you are most comfortable in a relatively secure setting where you know you will not be disturbed. Too much spontaneity makes you somewhat uneasy and detracts from your enjoyment. Although you may put particular value on a partner with a fine appearance and high social standing, do not forget that diamonds in the rough may be worth far more than polished gems, if you take the time to refine them. Mars in Scorpio You harbor a desire for a long time before allowing it to break out, and then it is very intense. For this reason, your lover may not be truly aware of the nature or extent of your needs. It is wise to express yourself verbally beforehand so there will be no imbalance on your partner's part. Because of this rather dominating high energy, you often rule a relationship, directly or indirectly, particularly in its physical aspects. You need a partner who is open to sexual adventure and self-abandonment, someone who can experience your kind of sexuality. True communication takes a while for you to develop, but once established, the ties are very deep and not easily broken. Mars in the Fifth House Because you approach sex in a very open, almost playful way, it does not have the pitfalls it has for so many people in our rather repressed culture. Indeed, you may be completely puzzled by someone with a more tangled or out-of- balance view of sexuality. You are most comfortable with someone who is as sunny and pleasant as yourself. Planetary positions planet sign degree motion Sun Leo 1°42'45 in house 2 direct Moon Gemini 9°33'57 in house 12 direct Mercury Leo 27°45'04 in house 3 direct Venus Leo 12°19'35 in house 2 direct Mars Scorpio 18°50'06 in house 5 direct Jupiter Capricorn 5°06'58 in house 7 retrograde Saturn Scorpio 9°48'09 in house 5 direct Uranus Sagittarius 9°47'09 in house 6 retrograde Neptune Sagittarius 29°12'43 in house 6 retrograde Pluto Libra 29°22'44 in house 5 direct True Node Gemini 5°06'16 in house 12 retrograde House positions (Placidus) Ascendant Cancer 4°08'29 2nd House Cancer 24°40'16 3rd House Leo 16°42'43 Imum Coeli Virgo 13°38'53 5th House Libra 18°12'22 6th House Scorpio 27°56'22 Descendant Capricorn 4°08'29 8th House Capricorn 24°40'16 9th House Aquarius 16°42'43 Medium Coeli Pisces 13°38'53 11th House Aries 18°12'22 12th House Taurus 27°56'22 Major aspects Sun Sextile Moon 7°51 Sun Quincunx Neptune 2°30 Sun Square Pluto 2°20 Moon Sextile Venus 2°46 Moon Quincunx Saturn 0°14 Moon Opposition Uranus 0°13 Mercury Trine Neptune 1°28 Mercury Sextile Pluto 1°38 Venus Square Saturn 2°31 Venus Trine Uranus 2°32 Jupiter Sextile Saturn 4°41 Jupiter Conjunction Neptune 5°54 Jupiter Sextile Pluto 5°44 Jupiter Opposition Ascendant 0°58 Saturn Trine Ascendant 5°40 Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°10 Neptune Opposition Ascendant 4°56 Pluto Trine Ascendant 4°46 Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).

Everyday is a new day

I do not know what is going to happen, man, but I am going to get my kicks before the whole shit house goes down. Am tired of people judging me based on how I look or what I have done over the weekend. People stare at me and whisper. I am a wild lady who is not looking to be tamed by anyone or anything. Only two men have ever come close to taming me: Harold and John. To them, I was obedient and sacrificed things that I may never do again. I have found people other who are able to ease my soul, but I believe more and more that this condition is only temporary. I cannot depend on anyone to do anything for me or make me feel a certain way. I love all of my friends (some more than others). I do not know if the feeling is mutual. I am a very sensitive person and at times, I feel too much and/or take things too personally but I act like it does not bother me. I do not want to be a burden in anyone’s life. I have given up being understood and accounted for. I have always been free to wander. I am tempted to conform, but I will not change myself to be accepted. I have been changing myself a lot lately. I have lived a life that most of the soldiers that I now know will never experience. I am very sure that they have experienced things that I would never want to do. But just so that they and everyone else knows- I love you for who I am not; I do not love what I have already got. Perhaps that is why I am so anxious to start a new life. At this point, I do not think that many people know me, and I may be changing too fast to know myself. I am not what I seem to be at the first glance. They say silence is acceptance, but to me, it is loneliness, especially when people look at me like I am crazy. Trust me, I have not made up my mind to change alone. But I derived little to no influence from those people who demanded that I change. Instead, they slowly faded out of my life. Out of sight is not out of mind, but it is the people who loved me and allowed me absolute freedom to be myself who have helped me the most, for they have only given me their advice when I have asked. So to all of those people, thank you for pulling on my hand, and keeping me away from myself when I needed it the most. (Too bad they will never read this)
I helped the plan develop I agreed to things I knew I didn’t want Just so I could stay a part of your life I could magically heal you- Take your pain away. Is that why you need me now? I need a release from this reality I have chosen- Someone to take MY pain away But still I ignore it all so you can be a better you And me? Well I am lonely now (ha!) I fill my time with stranger things Everyone is a stranger to me now I need a brand new friend who doesn’t bother me I’m facing my addictions one by one I have headaches every night And I can’t get out of bed in the day. I am seeking change, hopefully in the right places But my communications are poor And I’d rather be smoking, Simply loving, Living mi vida loca. I am too strong to cry Too stubborn to let go Forced to change Take over this situation Mend my plans Cure the evil of humanity And kill myself in the process But I live in the moment And am just talking to myself ************************************************* I wrote this because I had to. I could never be more than vague over the internet. I didn't write it for one specific person, but rather for several.
last post
17 years ago
posts
6
views
1,708
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 17 years ago
Food
 17 years ago
Tips for a happy LIfe
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 11 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0488 seconds on machine '5'.