Well here I sit again at home. For some of you that do not know I have been out of work since around NOV. I fucked up my back at work. I have a bulged disc. They have tried everything to get it to heal but nothing has worked. Tried physical therapy and that did more harm than good. Taken so many meds I could start my own pharmcy. The past two weeks I have been getting injections put into my back. The hope was they might relieve the disc and let it slide back in. Well the only relief it gave was a few hours away from the bad pain. I have had surgery on my back before and I know what is coming soon. Frankly at this point I want the surgery just to hopefully be a end to the pain I suffer every minute of everyday. It has been horrible to say the least. I try my best to keep up a good spirit but wont lie and say it has been so. The pain has left me at times feeling like a child lost in a forest wanting to find a way out. It eats away at me. Sleep is a blessing when I can stay asleep. I sleep almost in spirts. Maybe 5 hours here. 3 here. Almost everyday I end up falling asleep on the couch. It might be for a couple of hours or as light as 30 mins. Yanno you remeber starting to watch a movie and then all of a sudden you are looking at the credits and going what the fuck! Mike a good friend of mine came over yesterday and I tried to put on a good front while he was here. Meaning I tried not to be bent over like a question mark from the pressure and pain put on me. Talked to another friend of mine Russ last night and he said I was being overly stubborn and I honestly had to agree. I just hate anyone seeing me looking like the wreck I am. No reason to sugar coat it..I look like a hobbit wobbling around. I get another shot tomorrow. I look forward to it for only a few hours of relief it will give me. I just want something to stop the pain.
During this whole affair I have to admit when my spirits have been down. My girl Sandy has been there for me in so many ways. I dont know if I can ever repay her for the love and devotion she has given me during this time. Making sure I get to all my appointments. Helping whenever I dont even ask for it. Trying to keep my stubborn ass in check whenever she can lol. I love her so much and I pray she never faces anything like this on her but if anything should have happen to her I know damm well I will be at her side like she has been to mine. I cant do anything around the house and she does not complain. In fact if I even try to pick up a piece of cloth on the floor she fusses me out. I so love her.
Other people have also been a help during this time. My friend Mike came up from Ga. this weekend and stopped by. It was a joy to see someone and be able to talk to them in person. Having been basically shut in for so long it was awesome to see friendly face. He offered for me to go with him to the Atlanta race. I so wish I could but the body is damm sure not willing.
Caw has also kept my spirits up. We talk on the phone and through here all the time and I even got to see him over xmas. Even today we were bugging on the phone about the race. I hope to see him again soon.
Russ and I are two old friends also who as of late have finally been able to get back in touch with each other. (Thanks to myspace). I got to talk to him on the phone Sat night and again was great to hear another friend giving me encouragement. I may not be able to get out much but I know there are people out there to support me.
Of course I cant leave out my family. They have also been a big support for Sandy and I during this whole ordeal. With Sandy working and I am only getting a workmans comp check money has been tight. They have made sure when possible that we did not go wanting. If either food or a loan till a payday. They have kept a helping hand the whole time. I owe them a great debt of gratitude. Not to mention the emotional boost they all have been giving Sandy and I.
I cannot fail to mention of the friends online who have also leant me their support. So many ppl that I could not mention everyone. You know who you all are and I cherish every moment of support I get.
It was nice this weekend to see UNC get a hard fought win from boston college. They really had to fight back and pressing boston team. Come monday we will be 1 in the nation. Caws Duke team also had a challenge to overcome in NC State. They were able to also pull out a 1 point win. He and I already talking about when our teams meet again this weekend. Though this time UNC will win hehehe.
God it was awesome today to see Dale Jr get a 2nd place finish in Vegas. He might not have won but to put up such a strong showing is damm better than not finishing the race or placing low on the final order. He also jumped to 10th in the season points. Now he needs to stay there. He is already receiving the fruits from moving to Team Hendrick. Still find it weird that I now pull also for Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. Along with Cassie Mears. lol Dale is my driver and since he is driving for Hendrick then I have also been pulling for those guys. The rest of Team Hendrick had a horrible day though today. Jeff had a hideous crash towards the end. Luckly he walked away. Johnson never had a car today to do anything and ended up I believe 2 laps down. Casey was never in the picture really either. Carl Edwards had the class of the field today and I think Jr was happy to get the 2nd place finish. Yea of course he would take 1st but he does look at the big picture.There is a whole season left.
Well I think I burned the midnight oil on this one so I am gonna get let this blog end for now. I am sorry I dont do so many but honestly I forget sometimes. I hope all my friends and family are doing well. I cherish all of you who have been and still are helping me through this wretched time in my life.
Ron Stryker
