Here's to You, Beau
You know (and you proabaly don't), I can't remember a time when I didn't know Beau. He has always been a part of my life. He was there when the whole world turned upside down after my miscarriage and suicide attempt (that in itself is another story). He held my head when I drank too much. And he held me close, when the world hurt too much. When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, he was one of the first to know, and one of the very few who let me know I was still worth something. And then again with my second. I was there when his little girl, Beau Danielle, was born ill, and I was there to hold him when she died. I was there when he made his first mistake at marriage. And I was there to hold him when it fell apart.
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There were so many times in my life that he was there for, both good times and bad. But the one time that remember him the most for, is when my father died. Throughout most of the first week, while I was reeling from the pain (and alcohol to numb it), he held me close, listened, wiped my tears, and soothed my aching soul. The day that we put my father in the cold hard ground, he was by my side, holding my hand and crying with me. And for that alone, I will be eternally grateful to one Beau Daniel Bumgardner. But he was so much more than that. He was my lover, my drinking partner, my Friday night-there's-nothing-to-do-so-let's-party party pal. He was one of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Throughout all of my boyfriends, and all of his girlfriends, we remained lovers. Until the day I married my husband. But even then we remained friends.
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He is beautifully built. A little on the skinny side (he couldn't get in the police academy because he didn't weigh enough, go figure that one out), but not where it counted. He tuaght me, tho I am a few years older, many ways to please a man. He could melt me with his baby blue eyes. Eyes that were not afraid to show a tear, at least to me. And the softest hands and skills to use them. He has the biggest heart (I know what you were thinking, shame on you!). The sweetest kisses and a soft, sultry voice. Perfect? Not quite, after all he is a man, and incidentally human. Ok, that was chauvanistic, but hey this is the nineties. But I can only remember good times with him, tho I know there were bad ones too.
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So if you should ever read this, and for all those who know him, I just wanted to give you a little piece of immortality. For you once were a big part of my life, and you are a part of who I am. I wish I knew where you were. No matter where you are or where you may go in life, always remember that you carry my love with you, my friend.
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