I hate myself. I ruined it like I ruin everything else in my life. I fuck up anything good. That's all I am, I'm just a fuck up. I was so sure things were gonna be ok. I felt like things were starting to go the way they should and I thought he did too but now I have no idea. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. I'm broken. I don't this anymore. I don't want to go through this pain again. It hurts so much. I just want to this to be fixed. I want this to work out. I am giving my all and I am trying so hard, why isn't my best good enough? Why am I never enough? This doesn't feel right, this is not how this is supposed to be. I am my biggest mistake. I am shit to me. Everything I touch turns to shit. I can't hold on to something that doesn't want to be there, but I don't know how to let go. How I can I just turn my back on what I love? How can I just forget the best thing I have ever had? How did it come to this? How could he want this? All I wanna do is love him.
