why is it that when you are drunk all you can think about is things you really don't want to? The last 3 serious relationships I have had ended badly and they all moved on before we were even over. One cheated on me and left me for that girl, the next moved on emotionaly, and the third was already talking to the girl he is w/ now when we were still together like 2 or 3 months before we even broke up...even left the same comment on her page and my page on the same exact day. I know I'm not perfect but I try as hard as I can when I am w/ someone. Even now the guys who claim to like me don't actually want to be with me, they just wanna get in my pants. I guess I look easy and slutty, thats all I am. I just want something real. I don't want hook ups or to just have fun, I want someone that will take me flaws and all.
I'm looking back at entrys in my old written journal trying to fit it all in one note book and every word I wrote hurts and it makes me wonder why I tried so hard when the writting was on the wall. I just keep wondering if every word and situation I spoke about were just lies, I can't help but wonder that because look at where the situation is now; every promise has been broken and everything that was said would happen is gone...its like that part of my life was just a dream. More than anything I want to understand why I still care, why even now just thinking about it fills my eyes with tears. I feel stupid, I thought I moved on from it all but maybe I'm just lying to myself again. I know there is no point of voicing these feelings and m ore likely than not no good will come from it like most things I have said when it comes to this situation. I know that the other never wonders or thinks about any of it, I am just a bad memory or a nightmare. Thats all i ever am I guess, but still to this day I can't break 100% away, there are still thinks that keep me attached which ironically enough is not my choice but the others. It must be easier to keep around when the baggage is only physical and not emotional cause in all honesty I'm sure I'm the only one with any emotion left of the situation, the only one who even tries to be civil, the only one who acts like everything was something that mattered and that the promises that were made actually meant something to someone even if it they didnt mean something to the one who actually spoke them.
Mr. Sandman showing his beam
When he walks into the room the walls lean in to listen
Surfed out brain waves flick back and forth
Like old headlights sniffing model glue again
Head like a steel trap
Wish I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't
I don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness
Does your husband know the way that
the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way
Does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
The last time you came through
Oh darling I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling
Oh darling
Oh darling...
Aw
Tempest in a teacup
Get unique
Peroxide princes shine like shark teeth
It's a sign (it's a sign)
It's a sign (it's a sign)
It's a sign-what if you peaked early?
Does your husband know the way that
the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
Does he know the way
Does he know the way
Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?
Does he
Does he know the way I worship
Our love?
Does your husband know the way that
the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
The last time you came through
Oh darling I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling
Oh darling
Oh darling...
Does your husband know?
Does your husband know?
Does your husband know?
Does he know,
does he know,
does he know? Oh oh...
But I will never end up like him
Behind my back I already am
Keep a calendar, this way you will always know
The last time you came through
Oh darling I know what you're going through
The last time you came through
Oh darling I know what you're going through