Well I guess I'm just hateful bitch according to Dallas. We've never gotten into a fight or anything until today.
It started last night when I realized that he had gone upstairs to get the kids something to eat and give Tara her medicine and hadn't come back and it had been an hour. So I need to wash the color and stuff out of my hair and shower so I went upstairs with my stuff and he's sitting in the den watching Ultimate Fighting or whatever it is and I say "Do you ever watch anything else anymore. Everytime you turn the TV on you watch this stuff." And I was not being an ass, I was just giving him a hard time like we always do with each other. Well he says, not in a mean way but nontheless hurtful way, "I came up here to leave you alone so I could watch this and not hear you bitch so move along." and he kinda shooed me away. Now granted we give each other hell all the time because thats the way we are with each other, but that really really hurt my feelings.
So I just went on and took my shower and went back downstairs and didnt bother him anymore for the rest of the night and didn't go out with him later for fear of bitching too much or saying something out of the way.
Well me of course having to hold in all my feelings woke up today in a bad mood and ended up getting pissed and snapping at him later while we were trying to paint my parents house. Which in my opinion I have every fucking right to be pissy about the whole situation since We've been out there painting the inside of thier house for 3 weeks because he either doesn't get up until noon so we dont get out there until 2 or 3 and only work for about 3 hours or he's had excuses not to go at all so we've wasted enough gas going back and forth out there for a short amount of time and i was sick of it. We weren't there for an hour and he already wanted to leave and spend money on food that we dont have but still manage to spend 50 bucks a week on it.
So he retaliates by acting like an asshole and telling me that he didn't know why I cared since I didn't do anything but sit there while he did all the work and that he didn't know what my problem was but I was bitching and snapping about everything lately.
So I left him to paint by hisself and I went to an empty room and cried for 3 hours and when I went back to try and make up he still got shitty with me so I went back to the room to cry some more.
We've cooled off now but we're still a little tense and neither of us have apologized or anything. I don't know if I should apologize or not considering that I had a reason for getting mad and he never seems to understand why I get upset over shit. If I made a list and kept track of all the money he wasted on stupid shit, food, and things he didn't need, I know it would at up to 50 bucks or more a week while our bills go unpaid and he wonders why I'm so stressed out.
I know for a fact because he's wasted every dime he's had in his pocket over the last 3 days that I won't be able to pay my fucking loan payment from the credit union now. I wish I'd had time to go by and get it done Friday but I didn't. So now it won't get paid at all. Food and movies was more important. Thats why I get so fucking shitty with him sometimes over things that seems so trivial.
