I've been watching Dr. Phil which I catch every now and then and this particular episode was about a woman who had cheated on her husband. This is about the gazillionth television program that I've seen about people cheating, especially women. Now, I am a woman and I cannot understand this behaviour. It makes me question why women bother to get married at all.
It's like using the word "love" too much. If you say it constantly without sincerity, the word is cheap and means nothing at all.
And yet these are the same women who drag men kicking and screaming to the altar.
I feel really vindicated that my opinion of most other women is that they get married not because of love or even commitment, but because they get to show all their friends that "Ha! Ha! I'm getting married and you're not...I'm getting married before you!"
If they don't believe in God and aren't afraid to go before Him and make a vow, at least they should think about whatever children they may have. It's always the children who suffer, not to mention family and friends.
It seems as if every talk show aside from entertainment shows (i.e. Ellen etc.,and etc.)has guests who cheat on each other with no real sense of reverence for the vow of marriage, let alone concern about any consequences. I have read articles where they have surveyed men and women about cheating and the percentages are amazing! The women cheat nearly as much as the men.
I don't know how people can trust each other enough to even GET married anymore! I mean what is the point? Why even bother if one or both of the party is going to cheat? And how can you trust that they won't?
I don't care if you have a husband who is emotionally whatever. You control your behaviour unless you have a medical issue. It takes TWO to tango, cliche'd as that may be. Nobody cheats by themselves.
And then I see these people crying and boo-hooing "I made a mistake, boo-hoo-" on TV. What this is telling the audiences is that it's okay to cheat, because if you cry a little and try to get out of the responsibility of accepting the consequnces, you get to be on TV and it's glamous, and blah blah blah.
Aren't there any women out there who haven't cheated on their husbands? I find it hard to believe anymore that there are any more than a handful.
God, I must be the most old-fashioned female on earth. To me, when you get up there and stand in front of God Himself and your family and friends, you'd better know what you want. You'd better mean what you say and say what you mean.
And you'd better be prepared to fight for that marriage and not give up until there is not one shred of hope hanging over that relationship. And for me, even no shred of hope is not a reason to leave (or cheat). There's a reason you agree to 'until death do us part.' Because you VOWED it. Even if you don't believe in any type of deity, you should at least have enough integrity to keep your word. Or at least try to.
I don't have any love or respect for men who cheat, but women? I really really have a problem with that. Why wear the wedding dress and say vows? God or no, why go through the motions if it means nothing to you? It appears that this re-inforces my belief. I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear any crappy reasons why you cheated-cheating is cheating. You're either cheating or you're not.You are an adult. And if you're relationship is so unstable or unsuitable that you feel you have to cheat, then you should have realized that BEFORE you picked out the dress to impress your 'friends'.
My grandmother used to say "It's better to be alone with just a crust of bread than to be with someone you hate." Of course my grandmother came from Europe with her parents and you'd better believe she tried to get me married with the "before I die" guilt trip.
I'd like to believe that there is an untold amount of women who have never cheated and never will. I'd like to believe there are women in whose minds that idea would never occur. If there are other women out there who won't or don't cheat, I'd like to hear from them. I'd like to see that they are the ones who are on television shows, standing up for what's right in a relationship. I'd like to hear other women who don't cheat say:"Hey, we're not all skanks." I'd like to.
I'd also not like to hear from women who talk about independence.
I'm one of the few truly independent women there are. I bought my mother her first off-the-showroom new car. I helped pay off her house, and the bills. I've gotten myself prestigious jobs without networking and without anybody's help. I've lived out my dreams.
So I know not only what independence is, but also what responsibility is. And it isn't cheating. It isn't following whatever impulse you feel or think.
