Have you ever been so sad that it feels as though your soul is aching? That deep sadness that has no beginning and no end. You can’t figure out where the tears came from or when they are going to end. The sadness grips you and forces you to face a reality in yourself that you want to hide. You know once you see what is there that you can’t go back. You flee from yourself only to find a mirror at the end of your run. There is no escape from yourself, all you can do it look and cry again.
The tears just flow and then they trickle, they never really stop. They can be masked by a smile at times but they are never gone. The pain can’t be hidden, can’t be halted, and can only be embraced. Yet, when you embrace it you are forced to accept things as they are and not how you want them to be. The life you live is not that which you chose for yourself and you can’t face what you have become. How do you change what you don’t want to accept?
Is there some magical potion to be found that allows people the opportunity to be what they choose? Something that affords the chance to excel in life. The sadness keeps us from achieving any goal we may have set forth for ourselves. It forces us to bow down to acceptance for less than what we deserve. The tears are there to remind us that we are human and must follow the rules. What are the rules though? What makes the rules for us? Why must we follow them? Can we not break from them and journey out on our own? Must we stay captive in a prison of our own making?
If we made the prison can we not release ourselves from it? If we can escape the sadness and pain that paralyze us can we not move forward and set our own new rules? Why must the rules stay the same throughout life? Our lives change as we age and the rules should as well. We must find some way to break the barrier to the existence that we long to have. We must learn to stop the tears that prohibit our growth. The sadness must end in order for us to begin.
The beginning is such a beautiful thought isn’t it? Moving forward with a plan and goals seems like such an obstacle, but why need it be? Exactly, it shouldn’t. I have cried long enough and suffered even longer. It is now time to embrace the sadness, face the mirror, shatter the glass and walk through the shards to become who I choose to be . . . Hopefully others will join me as well.
