Okay so when I left off I had mentioned that my brother have moved in with my grandparents, but I did forget to mentioned my grandparents lived 4 hours away from me. So now in my 8 years of life I have lost my father and my brother out of my life, though they weren't gone gone, but they were no longer "allowed" in my life, thanks to my mother. This is where the seed of hatred towards my mother was planted, although it would not start to grow until much later in my life it was there and then that it was planted.
When i was in 6th grade (age 10) I had tried cutting my wrist, being that young I think it was more so for attention then it was actually to kill myself. One of my friends had told my teacher and my teacher told the guidence councelnor and of course my mom was called. Instead of my mom talking to me about my feelings or taking me to a shrink to talk about them....she took me shopping. Yes my friends my mom believes that money can fix anything.
When I was in 8th grade (age 12) I wrote a poem about suicide for english class (it was a very great poem and I wish i still had it) Then of course i was down out the counsler's office and my mom called again. Again we went shopping...see a pattern here? 8th grade is when My best friend Angie moved in next door to me. Angie has been a big influence on my life and still is. Also around this time is when i started to steal cigarettes from my mom. Even though I wasn't actually smoking (not inhaling) I thought it was cool.
Okay i am gonna stop there for now. The next session will be about my freshman and sophmore years of high school! thanks for reading and have a great weekend. MUCH LOVINGS
