Okay, so here is the thing...my ex had the kids back in January for a few weeks and possibly almost a whole month. They were doing me a favor in helping me out so that I can get a fresh start of things in my life. (They as in his fiance at the time, now wife) My ex and I had a virbal agreement that he would have the kids for just three months so that I can find a good job and possibly a new place to live...was living with my parents at the time because of other issues.
So during this time, I was putting in job offers after job offers, until finally I found a job. By the time I was workin again it was almost at the end of January. Well, my ex's fiance at the time decided to put me down a mother that doesn't know how to take care of her kids and she is much more better mother than I will ever be...that kind of speech I got from her. It was she that had to tell me that my ex and her was going to keep the kids till the summertime and if they feel that I havent changed by having a good job and living in my own place, they will let the kids spend time with me then take the kids back to their place in Alabama. I was going to buy that they can have the kids for just a little longer but keeping them just because I did not follow their standards as parents I was not going to allow.
Okay so the point is, that I felt like they knew what they were doing once they had the kids in their care. And I was a mad mother willing to do anything to see to it that they brought back the kids in the time that they said they were going to bring them or else. So I talked with my lawyer and then a court official about the prob and told the CO that I just wanted my ex to honor his word and bring back the kids in the time he said he would. So the CO called my ex on his cell phone, pissed his ass off, by telling him that he has to bring back the kids. And now everyone is saying that he kiddnapped his kids in this matter. I guess it kind of looks that way but I really do not know. My downfall though, was that I did not have my ex sign an agreement as of how long he can actually have the kids....originally it was suppose to be just two weeks according to the decree. The CO was willing, however, to type out and print out a copy of an agreement for us so that he can actually have the kids for just that amount of time; three months. But my ex quickly took it as us pointing fingers at him for kidnapping his children and decided that enough was enough and to give the kids back to me within a couple of weeks.
So I guess, we will never know what this kiddnapping thing means. I am just as confused as anybody else these days. I do not know how to look at my ex anymore. He is and will always be the father of my kids but why can't people realize that all Im trying to do is what's best for the kids? I am a mother trying to be a mother and nothing else. I live on my own with my two kids as of now, with no roommates to help me out and no one to tell me what to do. I do it all on my own now. I get to watch my children grow up and I get to see things that their father is missing out on. He will never smarten up though because he is afraid that if he does, his wifey will have the last say in it. I have nothing against my ex, nothing at all...because somewhere in him I know that there is a good man who's willing to give his kids a chance. But his wife is the one that seems to call the shots and it is just out right crazy. I mean, how can you get away with someone telling you "the mother of the kids that now reside in your home, your fiance's children" that you can not see your kids till we see a change in your life style because what you do doesn't meet our standards. Hey just because I have a little help now and then does not mean that I am not doing anything for myself as well as for my kids.
Anyhow, I am sick and tired of all that has gone on. All I want or ask for is for my ex to at least try to be in the kids lives by letting me know if or when he wants to spend time with the kids or let the kids come into his household. This time though, it would prob work with just the kids being with him for a couple of weeks at a time. I think that at this point the kids need to develop some kind of a bond with their father and letting him have the kids for one month makes the kids feel as if I don't want them....these kids are not stupid and know that if they are away from me for too long, then something is wrong. And I do believe that that was what happend with my son when he and his sis stayed with them that first few weeks. My son knew that he was in a place that he could not adjust to without me being there with him. He became a problematic child for his father...and even though his father tried to help it was like none of it really matterered.
My son does not like to talk on the phone with his daddy but his sister does, at times talk on the phone and she is just two years younger. But then my son is that way even with me or anybody else in the family. Now, on the web cam, he really enjoys watching himself on cam and he will actually recognize his father on the other screen. SO the webcam is a good way for the kids to see their father at this point. I truly do believe that it will work because it seemed to work when I was on cam with my sis, tina. We all got to see her and how big her belly has grown this pregnancy. Anyhow, I am hoping that someday my ex will come to his senses and realize that not everything has to be up to his standards and what his wifey tells him. We all know better.
