Fubar Blog Posts 2

Old Folks Home
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."

Old Flame Dies Hard...some Graves Don't Go Deep Enough
Situation: Ex contacts me and says he misses me and still wants to be with me. Problem: He was a horrible boyfriend, and emotionally abusive at that. Why He's Not Winning My Heart: Has another girlfriend right now. He's a cheater. And will ditch this girl he's with for one more chance with me. Honestly, I broke up with you. You even admit you were horrible. What makes you think I'd want you back after all the shit you put me through. You took me away from my family and friends, you made me cry and belittled me, scaring me by throwing and breaking things. You were a serious disappointment and I think you deserve to be lonely. Answer: I have someone else now that is 10x better than you. I'll talk to you, but their is no way in hell that I will give you a second chance to make me miserable.

Old Feelings
I live through my dark existence only to bask in your beauty your eyes that shine like sapphires your smile that brightens even my sad existence I envy the wind that runs through your hair that touches your lips I long to touch you to hold you in my arms but I cannot for your heart belongs to another so, I can only love you from afar your friendship means more to me than anything this world provides but like an angel you touched my heart in a way that I've never felt before cause I've never known what love is until this day I know that we are only friends but my heart wishes it to be more so I will still hope and dream that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"

Old Fashion Contest
Im Planning on holding an old fashioned contest, not where a Blast or Happy Hour is the Top Prize for the winner. Send me the pic you want to enter in the contest and ill rip your pic. 1st place with the most comments and rates gets a Yacht 2nd gets a porsche 3rd gets corvette 4th gets a silver motorcycle The rules are 1. all pics must be sfw. 2. comment bombing is allowed. 3. every rate will count as 5 comments. 4. Good sportsmanship is a must. 5. contest will run for 2 weeks. 6. I need 20 ppl to get this started Send me those pics or if you want to post them in here you can do that too. ~Devil In Cuffs~@ fubar

Old-fashioned Potato Salad
This recipe serves: 4 Ingredients 1 pound small red Bliss potatoes 2 tablespoons grainy mustard 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons olive oil salt to taste freshly ground black pepper 1/2 cup finely diced celery 1/4 cup finely diced red onion 2 tablespoons finely chopped pickles, dill or sweet 1/2 cup non-fat sour cream Cooking Instructions 1. Place the potatoes in a medium saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring the water to a boil and cook until the potatoes are just tender. Drain. 2. Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, combine the mustard and vinegar along with a pinch of salt and pepper. Whisk in the olive oil. 3. As soon as the potatoes are cool enough to handle, cut them in half and toss them with the mustard mixture. Refrigerate. (This can be done in advance and stored in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.) 4. When ready to serve, stir the celery, red onion, pickles and sour cream into the potato mixture. Adjust the salt and pepper to su

Old Friends!
Hi to all my old friends and new ones also sorry have not been on much been real busy with work and also at the gym getting ready for up comming bmx races October and november will be real hard for me to be online and catch up with friends. There is a bmx race comming up in October in Orlando Florida the Disney bmx cup I hope to race in that and of course at the end of October is the A.B.A. Grands in Tulsa Oklahoma. I thank you all for being my friend and all the love you have shown Eddie before his passing thank you all for being my friend and spending time with me when you can and checkin out my pics. take care all... Jay

An Old Friends Son Dies......
Dustin Scott Wakeman, a U.S. Army sergeant, died Saturday, Aug. 4, 2007, in Iraq. Funeral: 10 a.m. Monday, Aug. 13, in Laurel Land Memorial Chapel in Fort Worth. Interment: Dustin will be laid to rest in Laurel Land Memorial Park in the Garden of the Apostles with full military honors. Visitation: 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday at the funeral home. Dustin's family invites you to visit the Enduring Memories Booth at the funeral home and record your fondest memory of Dustin. Dustin was born Feb. 10, 1982, in Fort Worth. He graduated from Everman High School with honors and was a member of the math and science clubs, the band and the National Honors Society. After graduation, Dustin attended Tarrant County College and UT- Arlington before joining the U.S. Army in 2004. He served as a medic and paratrooper and was recently promoted to sergeant. His duty stations included Fort Sill, Okla., and Fort Richardson, Alaska. Dustin received many awards while serving our country: Bronze Service Medal, Army

Old Friends
I just got of the phone with one of my best friends from back in the day. She moved away like 5 years ago. It has been that long since I have talked to her. We just spent two hours on the phone catching up and junk. It was so nice. It was like no time at gone by at all. I know a lot of you hate myspace, but its good for one thing, everyone has one, and you can find old friends on there. I have found so many of my old friends on there. I missed Kris so much, out of all my old friends. I she was the yin to my yang. We were such oppisites that we made sense. Its good she moved away tho. She was in so much trouble here and stuff and she needed to get away from all the drama and craziness that kept fallowing her around her. She is doing good and I am so happy for her. Isn't it great when you can reconnect with old friends like that. All we did was catch up on gossip and junk like that. I am just so happy right now I could cry. :)

Old Friend Requests
im sending out friend requests to those who were on my list.fubar deleted both of my accounts,gd fucking jewbar.those of you who send new friend request of me im rejecting it because i dont know you.

An Old Farmer's Advice
An Old Farmer's Advice: * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. * Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. * You cannot unsay a cruel word. * Every path has a few puddles. * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. * Don't judge folks by their relatives. * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. * Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin'

Old Fashion
I like romantic walks on the beach, She likes gangsters that sells drugs and cheats. I like soft music and candle lit dinners, She likes candy paint and 20 inch spinners. I like to go to church praise and shout, While she sit at home wondering why her relationships don't work out. I like hot summer days lemonade and picnics, She likes to be pushed hit and called a bitch. I like hugging; cuddling; and blowing kisses, While she's wondering why it's two in the morning and her man is still fishing. But that's okay I've had my ration, I guess for today's day and age I'm a little old fashion.

Old Fashioned Brown Gravy
INGREDIENTS * 2 tablespoons pan drippings * 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour * 1 cup milk * 1 cup water * salt and pepper to taste DIRECTIONS 1. Immediately after removing meat from a roasting pan or other pan, drain off the drippings, reserving 2 tablespoons. Sprinkle the flour over drippings; cook and stir over medium heat until brown. Gradually stir in milk, whisking with a fork to scrape up all of the meaty bits from the pan, then gradually whisk in the water. Increase the heat to medium-high, and cook, stirring constantly, until the gravy thickens, about 10 minutes. Taste, and season with salt and pepper

Old-fashioned Holiday Fruit Cake
An excellent fruit cake that cuts into thin, moist slices. Use only the best fruits and nuts for superior results. Old-Fashioned Holiday Fruit Cake 1 pound candied pineapple, cut into thin match-stick strips 1 pound candied citron, cut into thin match-stick strips 8 ounces candied cherries, quartered 1 (11-ounce) package currants 1 pound dates, pitted and coarsely chopped 1 pound light figs, coarsely chopped 1 pound pecans, coarsely chopped 1 cup water 1/2 granulated sugar 1 tablespoon corn syrup 3 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 cup peach juice 3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon allspice 1 teaspoon ground cloves 1 teaspoon baking soda 2 teaspoons salt 2 cups butter 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar 12 large eggs, beaten Milk for brushing 1/2 cup light molasses Glaze (

Old Fucks, I Mean Old Folks, In Line At The Groc Store
if you shop a place long enough, you know who the new cashiers are, and if you'r in a hurry, ya go to a cashier you've seen around a while, not a new one. ya take it for granted they're going to be slow. which in most cases, is true. so what's with the old bitch, in line in front of you that claims she's shopped here longer than the damned store has even been in existence, and starts bitchin, "ever time i come to this damned place ya got some new cashier, don't know what the hell they're doin and i gotta wait forever in line" my answer is "well bitch, first of all the damned store hasn't been a hundred years like your old decrepit ass has been and further more most of us were born virgins, not professionals at fucking like apparently you were. so shut the fuck up, and either wait your damned turn, and quit making the new cashier even more nervous than they already are, or get the fuck out of line and if you know so damned much go to a line where you recognize an experienced cashie

Old Fucks, I Mean Old Folks In Line At The Groc Store.
have ya ever been in line at a grocery store behind one of those old bitches, that claims she's shopped at the store longer than it even existed, and complains about every time i come here they got a new cashier and i gotta wait in line, bla bla bla, well, my answer to her old ass, is "were ya born a virgin or a professional at it, and further more the store hasn't been around a hundred years like your decrepit old ass has been, so shut the fuck up, and quit making the new cashier more nervous than they already are, and further more, if ya know who's new then either get the hell out of line and go to a cashier ya know, or have ya pissed all of them off with you sour ass attitude, or just get the hell out of line out of my damned way, the moral of the story we are all new to everything in life once. so if ya see one of these old fucks, i mean old folks in line bitchin, ask them "were ya born a virgin, or a professional at it?" that'll shut them the fuck up. robert

Old Firm Match Postponed By Spl
Old Firm match postponed by SPL O'Donnell played for Celtic between 1994 and 1999 Wednesday's Old Firm match has been postponed as a mark of respect following the death of Motherwell captain Phil O'Donnell. O'Donnell died after collapsing during Saturday's match against Dundee United. The Scottish Premier League decided to postpone the game following a request by O'Donnell's former club Celtic. SPL secretary Iain Blair said: "These are never easy decisions. But we recognise that as a former player, Phil was part of Celtic's extended family." Interview: Former Motherwell manager Tommy McLean Media conference: Rangers manager Walter Smith Media conference: Celtic manager Gordon Strachan Interview: SPL secretary Iain Blair Blair said Celtic requested for the game to be postponed on Monday morning. "After consultation with Rangers we agreed to postpone the Old Firm fixture on 2 January," he added. A date has yet to be set for the game to be played.

Old Fashioned Mashed Potatoes
20 large Idaho potatoes, peeled and diced 4 cups (2 pounds or 8 sticks) unsalted butter 1 quart heavy cream Salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 cup chives, chopped In a large saucepan boil the potatoes until fork tender, drain all the liquid and return to saucepan. Smash together with a potato masher removing all the lumps. Add the butter and heavy cream, a little at a time, until you reach the required consistency. Add salt and pepper, to taste, and serve garnished with chopped chives. Note: Just before finishing you could add any other flavorings desired!

Old-fashioned Chicken And Dumplings
Old-Fashioned Chicken and Dumplings Rated 8.5 out of 10 Prep & Cooking Time: Yield: 8 servings Serving Size: 1.000 Measurement 2 cups heavy cream 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper Salt and pepper 6 chicken legs 6 chicken thighs 10 cups chicken stock 6 large carrots, diced 1/4 cup chopped cilantro leaves 2 tablespoons mashed roasted garlic cloves 1 large onion, diced 3 tablespoons baking powder 5 cups all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons kosher salt Directions: Lucky Texans are those who were raised by a mom or grandma with a mean pot of chicken and dumplings in her cooking artillery. This recipe might just be as good as those we grew up on; you'll find a little freshness lieft from the addition of cilantro. 1. Heat the stock in a large, heavy pot and cook the chicken thighs and legs over medium-low heat for about 45 minutes to 1 hour, until very tender. Remove from heat and allow to cool, reserving the stock in its pot. Remove the chicken and discard

Old-fashioned Chicken Pot Pie With Chive Mashed Potato Crust
Old-Fashioned Chicken Pot Pie with Chive Mashed Potato Crust Rated 8.6 out of 10 Prep & Cooking Time: 50 min. Yield: 6 servings Serving Size: 1.000 Measurement 4 tablespoons butter 1 cup milk 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage, or 1/2 teaspoon dried 1 teaspoon salt 2 cups cooked chicken 3 cups chicken broth 1 cup carrots cut into 1/2-inch dice 1/4 cup finely chopped onion 1 cup fresh, or frozen, defrosted corn kernels 1 cup fresh or frozen and defrosted petite peas 5 tablespoons flour Directions: This pot pie is like Mom's, except that I've topped it with Chive Mashed Potatoes. Try using Yukon Gold potatoes for a beautifully golden crust. 1. In a 4-quart saucepan, melt the butter and saute the onion for 2 minutes, until it begins to soften. Add the flour, and whisk until it bubbles. Gradually whisk in the broth, stirring until the sauce is thick and smooth, about 3-5 minutes. Add the carrots, salt, pepper, and sage,

Old Flames
ya ever see someone from the past and think why the fuck was I interested in this person in the first place? I dont know what I was thinking. Seriously, everytime I get so damn annoyed and swear I'm never going to talk to him again, then I like forget, and IM him or sumthing. Its just gross. anyways, Ive got my eye on someone new. And he makes me smile. thats all really.. just got my eye on him, He just seems like a really good person. and hes gunna get punched for goin to sleep/not answerin the phone when i need to vent. I'm goin to the st.Pats parade tomorrow afternoon in Detroit. I'm stoked, should be a lot of fun, we're goin to start pregamin round 11. then go to the parade ( i guess the kids apartment is near the parade route) then back to his place after. tomorrow will be a good day. p.s. I'm sick of being called spoiled, I know I am, I don't complain about anything, and I'm grateful for everything I have, so I don't wanna hear it anymore.

"old Family Homestead"
The old family homestead is in sight as I round the bend in my mind. Oh, the days of children laughing, the clank of horse shoes, softball being played in the field, hide and go seek, chasing lighting bugs in the dark for what seemed like hours. Family gatherings, enough food to feed an army of a thousand, ice cream churns humming a little song, sweet watermelon juice running down my chin to my shirt, giggling as my hands stuck together, mud holes in the drive big enough for ten to swim in after a summer rain, being a child it was almost impossible not to at least get one foot wet as the adults yelled that we were going to catch pneumonia, for a child that seemed like the most illogical statement ever made. The sound of the front door slamming, children and grandchildren gathered on the front porch catching up on the week’s gossip, the adults discussing the cost of living, and who died this past week. Horse riding on Sunday afternoons, children lined up arguing over who would be next,

Old Friend
ok so i just wrote this a second ago. how it came about was i talked to an old friend of mine a girl not a guy. and i got some thinngs off my chest that was bothering me for a long time. this poem is for an old soul that holds a place in my heart that no one can take. dont look to much into it but its just a poem that i was feeling at this time: I waited, i waited until the end of time. I hope that everytime you knocked on my door that it would be a surprise, instead all i got was your lies. I cried for I feared that we would never be what we used to be. And then the knocks stopped coming, and i knew that it wasn't true , that my heart turned blue, and you wouldn't be there with your stories or your lies. That day i knew that i had died, until from a distance i heard you cry, and a wisper so true that i knew you would be ok and i would too. But now we are enemies and friends we might never be, cause you won't accept the friend i want to be.

Old Friends
OMG! by the weirdest circumstances, this freaking awesome aussie chick found me while mumming the other day. as it turns out, she is an old family friend who i grew up calling my aunty. who would of thought fubar would have been the place to meet long lost friends and family here in Oz! i dont ask for much from my friends but this amazing lady had a huge part in my upbringing, and that has alot to do with the woman i am today, so please go show her some true fubar love! i can promise you wont be disappointed! Sabbynib@ fubar i love you sabby!!!

Old Friends, New Friends, And Friends To Come
FUBAR FRIENDS!!! MY FRIENDS!!! Sexy woman, beautiful ladies, hotties of fubar. There are so many woman here that just blow peoples minds. They are perfect looking. Some guys you are so scared.. Scared to say hi. Scared of rejection. Ya some women on here like out there in real life can be so mean.. Men can be just as mean but unless you try and speak to someone you really don't know who they are on the inside. A woman just like a man can look so perfect on the outside that one just assumes their life is perfect. so many times I get people saying I wish I was you. You must have the perfect life. Little do they know. Its quite opposite.. My hearts been torn out its been broken and I am the only one to blame for that.. I saw what little good there was in a person and overlooking all the bad that everyone else saw.. I didn't judge him for his looks. (quite ugly he is in fact) I didn't judge him for his money, (very broke penniless I might add), I didn't judge him for his past, (ex f

Old Friends
Sometimes there are people that come into your life,and you think they are your good friends.Only to have them stab you in the back,and never talk to them again.I know i have had a few!Then there are the friends that are there for a moment then are gone the next.But there are friends that have lost touch with you but are always in your heart,and you long to be with them agian.Nothing can kill true heart felt feelings for people that you care about.Love is patient,never wavering.

Old Folks
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96- year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94- year- old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92- year- old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' ___________________________________________________________ 'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!' Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer .' ____________________________________________

Old Folks Havin' Kids. . .
MY FRIEND GAVE BIRTH AT 65. With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?' 'No, not yet,' She said. After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?' 'No, not yet,' replied my friend. Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

Old Farmer
An elderly man in Northern Mississippi had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women swmming naked in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're notcoming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked. ' Holding the bucket up, he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.' Now that's funny!!! I hope if you read thi

Old Folks
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled With patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the Receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo Wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS!"

Old Folks Humor
Overheard In Florida Two elderly ladies are sitting on the porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh, sure I do.' The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?' The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.' After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?' ************************************************* Three old ladies were sitting side by side on patio chairs at their Orlando retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled from years past shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.' ************

Old Fashioned Love
I want to give you an old-fashioned love, and offer you everything you've ever dreamed of. I want to make your knees tremble with every kiss, wrap you in my arms and fill you with true love's bliss I want to take your hand, and hold you close to me, and make your future brighter than you ever thought it could be. Do you realize how much you mean to me?

Old Fashioned Onion Rings
INGREDIENTS * 1 large onion, cut into 1/4 inch slices * 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour * 1 teaspoon baking powder * 1 teaspoon salt * 1 egg * 1 cup milk, or as needed * 3/4 cup dry bread crumbs * seasoned salt to taste * 1 quart oil for frying, or as needed DIRECTIONS 1. Heat the oil in a deep-fryer to 365 degrees F (185 degrees C). 2. Separate the onion slices into rings, and set aside. In a small bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder and salt. 3. Dip the onion slices into the flour mixture until they are all coated; set aside. Whisk the egg and milk into the flour mixture using a fork. Dip the floured rings into the batter to coat, then place on a wire rack to drain until the batter stops dripping. The wire rack may be placed over a sheet of aluminum foil for easier clean up. Spread the bread crumbs out on a plate or shallow dish. Place rings one at a time into the crumbs, and scoop the crumbs up over the ring to

Old-fashioned Baked Beans
Old-Fashioned Baked Beans 1 pound dry navy beans or dry Great Northern Beans (about 2 1/3 cups) 1/4 cup bacon or salt pork, cut up 1 cup chopped onion (1 large) 1/2 cup molasses or maple syrup 1/4 cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon dry mustard 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper Rinse beans. In large Dutch oven combine beans and 8 cups water. Bring to a boiling; reduce heat. Simmer for 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand for 1 hour. Drain and rinse beans. Return beans to Dutch oven. Stir in 8 cups fresh water. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered for 1 to 1 1/2 hours or until beans are tender, stirring occasionally. Drain beans, reserving liquid. In a 2 1/2-quart casserole combine the beans, bacon, and onion. Stir in 1 cup of the reserved bean liquid, the molasses, brown sugar, dry mustard, salt, and pepper. Bake, covered, in a 300 degree oven about 2 1/2 hours or to desired consistency, stirring occasionally. If necessary, add additional

Old-fashioned Pound Cake
OLD-FASHIONED POUND CAKE 2 cups sugar 1 cup Crisco shortening 4 eggs 1 1/4- cups milk 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 3 cups flour Cream shortening. Add sugar and mix well. Add eggs, mixing again. Combine baking powder and salt. Add to creamed mixture. Last, add flour and mix well. Bake in a greased and floured tube pan at 350 degrees for one hour.

Old-fashioned Waldorf Salad
5 c organic apples, chopped, unpeeled 2 1/2 c chopped celery 1 1/4 c chopped pecans, walnuts or cashews 1/2 c Soy Mayonnaise Lettuce leaves Apple wedges Pecan halves Combine first 4 ingredients; toss gently to coat, and chill 1 to 2 hours. Spoon salad into a lettuce-lined serving bowl. Garnish with apple wedges and pecan halves. Makes 10 servings.

Old Fags Sending Me Friends Request And Messages
ok all of you old fags stop sending me messages and friend request i'm not in to old fags i will never be in to old fags leave me alone if you old fags keep sending me shit i will get my boyfriend on you Phukedinthead, stop fuck talking to me damn it

Old Friend
I had this friend in high school. She wasn't the smartest in the class, but she had a quick wit, awesome sense of humor and an incredibly infections laugh that made her one of my favorite people to be around. As we grew up, we lost touch, but kind of came together off and on throughout the years, either by coincidence, or effort on either of our parts. I think of her now and then, and it's usually when she needs something. Not the needs something like borrowing money to get out of jail, but just needing a friend to be there for her. The first time it happened was when I happened to read the paper, which I never did, and look at the obituaries, which I also never did, and see that she had had a baby that had died a few days after birth. We'd run into each other occasionally, which was odd sometimes, as we were really from two different communities. Sometimes one of us would track the other down and stop by the other's house or write a letter, but we always seemed to l

Old Feelings...
9:08am I thought that most of the feelings I'd experienced were buried. Turns out they're not. Last night I completely freaked out. I was on the computer just messing around with the settings and then I noticed a couple of messages on my phone. So when I saw them, I noticed one that came from AIM. Yes, I'll post his screen name it's.... wait nevermind, it's not worth it, for all I know he could be trying to stalk me on fubar lol JK but yeah maybe I should post up his freakin AIM screen name. Anywho, it's just stupid because I thought he knew that my phone was disconnected. The 1st message that I got and read said, "hi Liz" and then like a dumbass I deleted every message thereafter. I don't know what he doesn't get. I've been trying so hard to move on and I haven't been able to. I mean it's hurt me, and it's hurt the guys that I've liked. Most guys listen and understand but they cannot comprehend what I've gone through and what I still feel deep inside. I don't love h

Old Folks Loving...
Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm Hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times. Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you. Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate. Husband: You don't love me anymore. Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight. Husband: Please...come on Wife: All right, I'll do it. Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight? Wife: I can't find it. Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it! Wife: There! Are you satisfied? Husband: Oh, yes. Wife: Is it up far enough? Husband: ! Oh, that's good. Wife: Now go to sleep, and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

The Old Farmer
An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. . From morning till night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to

The Old Fella
The average life expectancy of a cocker spaniel is 15 years, but this old guy would have been 17 on June 12th, but today we had to put him down. He had a a bad bad bad heart, in which was deteriorating the muscles of his hind legs, so he had a tough time getting up and around the 4 younger dogs. Even in his old age he felt like he could do his job of protecting you, even though he couldn't move very fast. Worst of all he was losing his body functions. He was around a long time, and he will be greatly missed.

An Old Farmer's Advice
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * * Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.* * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.* * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.* * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.* * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.* * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.* * Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.* * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.* * You cannot unsay a cruel word.* * Every path has a few puddles.* * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty..* * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.* * Don't judge folks by their relatives.* * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.* {Wisdom has 2 parts - having a lot to say, and then not saying it} * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a

Old Fashion Hard Candy
Servings: 20 Ingredients: -2 cups white sugar -1 cup water -3/4 cup light corn syrup -1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract -1 drop red food coloring (optional) -1/8 cup confectioners' sugar Directions: 1. In a heavy 2 quart saucepan, combine the sugar, water and corn syrup. Cook, stirring constantly until the sugar is dissolved; then cook without stirring, lowering the heat and cooking more slowly during the last few minutes, to the hard crack stage (300 degrees F), If sugar crystals form on sides of pan, wipe them off with a damp brush. 2. Remove from heat, add oil flavoring and enough food coloring to color; stir only to mix. Pour into 2 well buttered 9 inch pans. Set one pan of candy over a sauce pan containing hot water (unless you have a helper to help cut the candy). As soon as the other pan of candy is cool enough to handle, cut it with scissors into 1-inch strips. Then snip the strips into pieces. Work fast. Drop the pieces onto a buttered baking sheet. If the

Old Friends / Chat Contacts
Thank you Not Tellin' for reminding me. After I left fubar the last go round my laptop blew up. When I got a new one I had to reinstall YIM. When I did all of my contacts disappeared. If you are using YIM and would like to add me again please do so. YIM ID: Sasquatch5170

Old Friend
me and my wife just found out that one of our old friends in school is missing and presumed dead she was a great person so if you are religous or whatever u do please pray for her and her family. here is a link on the curent staus of the search http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=11347544

An Old Farmer Wrote To His Son In Prison.
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison." This year I won't be able to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground, I know if you were here u would help me."The son wrote: " Dad don't think of digging the ground because that's where I buried the guns "Police reads the letter and the very next day, the whole ground was dug by police looking for guns but nothing was found.The next day the son wrote again " Now plant your potatoes dad, it's the best I could do from here!!!!♥

Old Flame
6:26pm PST Yes, as you may have noticed I usually time stamp something I start typing out. It's been a habit of mine since I started an old blog when I was 15, but it has closed down since then. So anywho, I went out with my friends last night. I got a phone call out of the blue. I hadn't seen my ex since January even though the last time we actually spoke was in February. I thought it would've been somewhat awkward since there was quite a bit of weirdness when we last spoke. Anywho, his birthday is on Monday. He is going to be 34. Yes, I know he's still young. He always puts himself down. I don't know why though. He was telling me how he missed me but didn't want to be in a relationship because he feels he has nothing to offer. If he didn't have anything to offer, then I wouldn't have been with him the time I was. One look at him last night reminded me he is still the same guy I last spoke to, though I noticed there was a sparkle in his eye when he saw me. I haven't rea

Old Friend's; New Lover's Part.1
Another EARLY piece, this was to bridge the gap of people who thought of friends to be desirable. Also this was to bridge the gap's and division created between people and social classes.Chris was quiet, the entire time he sat in the backseat and his Uncle drove. He knew where he was going, and he was glad. He just was not completely; 100% sure as to how it would go. It had been at least 8 yrs, a pretty big gap to fill in the aspect of a life lived so far apart. He knew it was going to be good to see her, despite the obvious of how he had grown from his childhood. Chris remember how well it had been between him and his friend, Jane; Jane Lambert. He smiled a little as he remembered her, he was 12 and she was 22. It was always a proper sense of good between them, Chris' mother died during child birth, and his father had been killed during a liquor store stick up. All he had then after was his Uncle Irving, and Jane. Jane; she was a close friend, but chris always eyed her like a friend,

Old Friend's; New Lover's Part.2
Jane then felt his lips caress her neck. Her mouth opened and she let out a deep long breath, a breath she felt she had seemingly been holding forever! One that held almost every shard of her senses and her thoughts. She felt the glass slip from her hand and soon, drop into the sink. The water spilled from inside about the sink interior, and she found her arms going limp. Her eyes closed, her head fell back and rested on Chris' shoulder as he continued his kissing on her neck. His hands swarmed her, reaching around and gripping her flesh. Grasping her firm C cup breasts... massaging them gently in a clockwise motion. But her hand stopped his as she too grasped them, and she squeezed harder: Jane: *Light Voice/ Breathless* "Mmm, squeeze harder... harder chris!" Chris did as she asked... squeezing her breasts firmly together, he was afraid he'd harm her, but her body reacted lustfully as she arched. Her sigh only louder than the last as she reach behind her and hugged his head. His

Old Feelings (still Standing)
Old Feelings (Still Standing) by Kenneth Matlock on Saturday, September 8, 2012 at 12:25am Drop a couple of hints for me Drop a few bread crumbs It's hard for me to find my way Sometimes I'm only thumbs I still feel like I did before Though, it's a little different now I still find most things a bore I keep wondering just how How do I make this life work? How can I just stand in line? How can I not only lurk? Will I be doing just fine? Maybe it's meant to be this way To keep me on my toes I'm running out of things to say How am I still standing? Nobody really knows Nobody can beat me down Nobody can reach my soul Nobody can see my crown Nobody knows my goal There are a few who speculate There's one that's close Though simply just to ciirculate I keep on feeling gross When will it be pure again? When will this feeling fade? Am I like the other men? With the mistakes that I've made? Does it even matter? Do I even care? The real question

Old Friend
its been awhile since i've seen you...you called when i least expected it...and in my most darkest hour i tried to reach out to you...like i had once beforei didn't expect to not be able to grasp your hand gentlymaybe i thought you were more forgiving...that you would hold true to what we said so long ago..maybe the time has just changed us completely...and we are not the same people we once were...I remember those days as if imprisioned within a memory..a memory I never want to let go..but also locked within that memory is all the pain and hurt i have known..i told you that i would call you tonight...but yet i couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone...I feel so bad for not keeping my word...yet i think you will understand..although - you're not who you once were...so sadly i return to the shadows so that you...don't have to look at this pain in my eyes any longer...

Old Glory...
I am the flag of the United States of America. I fly atop the world's tallest buildings. I stand watch in America's halls of justice. I stand side by side with the Maple Leaf on the worlds longest undefended border. I fly majestically over institutions of learning. I stand guard with power in the world. Look up and see me. I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice. I stand for freedom. I am confident. I am arrogant. I am proud. When I am flown with my fellow banners, my head is a little higher, my colors a little truer. I bow to no one! I am recognized all over the world. I am honored - I am saluted. I am loved - I am revered. I am respected -- and I am feared. I have fought in every battle of every war for more then 200 years. I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Shiloh and Appomattox. I was there at San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome and the beaches of Normandy, Guam. Okinawa, Korea and KheSan, Saig

Old Glory
I am the flag of the United States of America. My name is Old Glory. I fly atop the world's tallest buildings. I stand watch in America's halls of justice. I fly majestically over great institutes of learning. I stand guard with the greatest military power in the world. Look up! And see me! I stand for peace - honor - truth and justice. I stand for freedom I am confident - I am arrogant I am proud. When I am flown with my fellow banners My head is a little higher My colors a little truer. I bow to no one. I am recognized all over the world. I am worshipped - I am saluted - I am respected I am revered - I am loved, and I am feared. I have fought every battle of every war for more than 200 years: Gettysburg, Shilo, Appomatox, San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome, the beaches of Normandy, the deserts of Africa, the cane fields of the Philippines, the rice paddies andjungles of Guam, Okinawa, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Gu

The Old Gas Station
The Old Gas Station The service station trade was slow. The owner sat around, With sharpened knife and cedar stick. Piled shavings on the ground. No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill. "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, And nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there But only stayed a minute, Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it. With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car. Just like three gals before. She tripped and fell -- got up, and then in obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust. Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew. A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete, He tied

Old Glory® 6 Ft. Telescoping Aluminum Flag Pole Kit - $25.00 - Free Shipping
Product Information DISPLAY YOUR PATRIOTIC SPIRIT THIS 4TH OF JULY! * Show your pride for your country with this 6 foot telescoping flag pole kit. * This high quality flag pole kit features a 3'x5' nylon flag with brass grommets. * The aluminum pole extends to a total of 6 feet in length and each section easily locks into place with a twist. * A 5" brass colored American Bald Eagle sits atop of the pole. * The durable plastic clips fasten the flag to the pole and rotate around the pole to keep the flag from get twisted on a windy day. * Attach the flag pole to your home using the nylon adjustable bracket that adjusts from 0° to 180° at 15° increments and extends out to 72" long. * Appropriate for outdoor or indoor use. * Includes mounting hardware. Model No: 6018 Weight: 4 Lbs. Shipping Dimensions: 38x6x6 Price: $49.95 $25.00 ON SALE NOW - ONLY AT CANDLES N THINGS 4 LESS - WHERE FREE SHIPPING IS FREE SHIPPING!!!!

Old Girlfriend
received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend today. It's been years since I have seen her. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic." "Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now, I said, I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the "energy" I used to have. She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.. "Yeah," I said. "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone ..... everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed, and I am developing jowels like a great dane.!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby grey haired older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be

"old Glory!" Author Unknown
"OLD GLORY!" This famous name was coined by Captain William Driver, a shipmaster of Salem, Massachusetts, in 1831. As he was leaving on one of his many voyages aboard the brig CHARLES DOGGETT - and this one would climax with the rescue of the mutineers of the BOUNTY - some friends presented him with a beautiful flag of twenty four stars. As the banner opened to the ocean breeze for the first time, he exclaimed "Old Glory!" He retired to Nashville in 1837, taking his treasured flag from his sea days with him. By the time the Civil War erupted, most everyone in and around Nashville recognized Captain Driver's "Old Glory." When Tennessee seceded from the Union, Rebels were determined to destroy his flag, but repeated searches revealed no trace of the hated banner. Then on February 25th, 1862, Union forces captured Nashville and raised the American flag over the capital. It was a rather small ensign and immediately folks began asking Captain Driver if "Old Glory" still existed. Happ

Old Geezers
OLD GEEZERS "Geezers" (slang for an old man) are easy to spot: At sporting events, during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner Old Geezers remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. Old Geezers remember the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War 1950-55, The Cold War, Vietnam, the jet age and the moon landing the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005 the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam, If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk, he will apologize. If you pass an Old Geezer on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Geezers trust strangers and are courtly to women. Old Geezers hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection. Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curs

Old Gal
Frivolous Old Gal I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer. Love, Grandma P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kit

Old Guys At A Cat House
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided that they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned. How was it for you?" The second old man replied, "I think mine was a witch." The first man asked, "How's that?" "Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!"

Old Goats
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. "These" she explained "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

The Old Guard
The Old Guard The History of Leather Traditions By Guy Baldwin, M.S., author of The Ties That Bind While reading a recent interview with Brian Dawson, I came across some of his comments about that '0ld Guard' In the leather lifestyle. Although I used that label in a piece I wrote almost three years ago, I only recently realized that there was a strong likelihood that large numbers of leather guys don't quite know for sure what the phrase, '0ld Guard' really means. I'm sure that I have never seen a description of the style (and it is a style, so I want to offer one now. I have carried my own '0ld Guard' card in my wallet right next to my Selective Service Registration card (draft card) for long enough that I probably qualify to offer what follows so, here goes... First, a bit of historical perspective will be more helpful than you might guess. '0ld Guard' is really a misnomer - a misapplied name - for the earliest set of habits that jelled by the

An Old Guy And A New Girl...oh Wait Flip That!
ok so i decided that instead of crying myself a river, that ship has sailed, i'm looking for somebody new to float my boat! lol ok in all seriousness just because i'm and "older" woman which i don't feel old, and just because i'm heavy does NOT mean i'm hard up or an easy target. if you wanna get with this then you need to know the scoop, check out my long drawn out profile page and find out who the real me is! please, don't get me wrong i feel very flattered that there are men out there that wanna please me, but all in all you just wanna please yourself and i ain't got time for selfish people or babies lookin for a wet nurse. so if you are looking for substance and a whole hell of a lot of loyalty then hit me up, you'll be glad ya did, because i only want someone that deserves me, and the man that can do that will thank his lucky stars everyday! i'll make sure of it!

Old Gf...
My old gf is 7 months pregnant and 40 years old. Back when I was pregnant with my oldest (12 years ago) she had a big issue being around me due to fact she was hurting and couldnt have kids. They tried vitro and all. Anyways..she wouldnt even come to my babyshower. After 15years of marriage..there marriage went to hell cuz her hubby had a affair on her and got a girl pregnant. We tried to be there for both of them.. but once she used us to help her move out of there house..we didnt hear from her again til she needed help moving again. Seemed like thats only time we heard from her. Anyways.. now shes having a baby shower and called up like best of friends. I didnt want to speak to her so she spoke to hubby..saying she was gonna send a babyshower invite. I guess I am spiteful..and all. Part of mes happy that she finally is pregnant..but part of me just pissed over how shes been over the years. She says this is gods miracle...and says her ex is pissed that shes finally pre

Old Hag Syndrome #1
Old Hag Syndrom In the dark depths of the middle of the night you are woken suddenly with a feeling of evil surrounding you, you can't breathe and your chest is heavy, is someone pressing down on you or trying to suffocate you? To your horror you can't move, something is holding you down! You think you can hear voices and see a dark shadowy figure swooping around your bed...are you being visited by Demons or are you merely suffering an episode of Sleep Paralysis? S L E E P P A R A L Y S I S O L D H A G S Y N D R O M E Sleep Paralysis (SP) is a common medical condition and usually tagged nowdays as a Sleeping Disorder. The symptoms can sometimes include complete to partial paralysis of arms, legs and upper torso, a tight or heavy pressure on your chest sometimes with a choking sensation and almost always experienced as you are about to fall into sleep or just come out of sleep. The most remarkable symptoms of SP are the accompanying audio and/or visual hallucinations oft

Old Hag Syndrome #2
The waking nightmare of sleep paralysis propels people into a spirit world Bruce Bower As a college student in 1964, David J. Hufford met the dreaded Night Crusher. Exhausted from a bout of mononucleosis and studying for finals, Hufford retreated one December day to his rented, off-campus room and fell into a deep sleep. An hour later, he awoke with a start to the sound of the bedroom door creaking openthe same door he had locked and bolted before going to bed. Hufford then heard footsteps moving toward his bed and felt an evil presence. Terror gripped the young man, who couldn't move a muscle, his eyes plastered open in fright. The Nightmare, 1781, Henry Fuseli. Founders Society purchase, with funds from Mr. and Mrs. Bert L. Smokler and Mrs. Lawrence A. Fleischman. Photograph 1997 The Detroit Institute of Arts Without warning, the malevolent entity, whatever it was, jumped onto Hufford's chest. An oppressive weight compressed his rib cage. Breathing became diffi

Old Hag Syndrome #3
Brains in Dreamland Scientists hope to raise the neural curtain on sleep's virtual theater Bruce Bower After his father's death in 1896, Viennese neurologist Sigmund Freud made a momentous career change. He decided to study the mind instead of the brain. Freud began by probing his own mind. Intrigued by his conflicted feelings toward his late father, the scientist analyzed his own dreams, slips of the tongue, childhood memories, and episodes of forgetfulness. Freud's efforts culminated in the 1900 publication of The Interpretation of Dreams. In that book, he depicted dreams as symbolic stories in which sleepers' unconscious sexual and aggressive desires play out in disguised forms. Later in his life, Freud acknowledged that dreams don't always gratify wishes. For instance, he noted that some dreams represent attempts to master a past traumatic experience. Yet the father of psychoanalysis always held that dreams contain both surface events and subterranean themes of great p

Old Harold In The Hospital....
Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital.There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning", or "Are we ready for a bath", or "Are we hungry?" Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, at breakfast, Old Harold took the apple juice off the tray and put it in his bed side stand. Next, he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, it seems we are a little cloudy today" At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand,popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time. "The nurse fainted! Old Harold just smiled! DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!!!!

Old Herb Names - New Updates
Tongue of Dog? Blood of Goose? Do you really think witches cut of tongues off dogs? Or take blood from geese? Ummm...NO! They were just pseudonym names for the herbs to keep them secret. Here are some old time names for herbs: A A Bone of an Ibis: Buckthorn Adder's Tongue: Dogstooth Violet; Plantain A Titan's Blood: Wild Lettuce A Lion's Hairs: Tongue of a Turnip [i.e., the leaves of the taproot] A Man's Bile: Turnip Sap A Pig's Tail: Leopard's Bane A Hawk's Heart: Heart of Wormwood An Eagle: Wild Garlic Ass's Foot or Bull's Foot: Coltsfoot B Bat's Wing: Holly Leaf Bat's Wool: Moss Bear's Foot: Lady's Mantle Bird's Eye: Germander Speedwell Blood: Elder sap or another tree sap Blood from a Head: Lupine Blood from a Shoulder: Bear's Breeches Blood of Ares: Purslane Blood of a Goose: Mulberry tree's sap Blood of a Hamadryas Baboon: Blood of a spotted gecko Blood of Hephaistos: Wormwood Blood of Hestia: Chamomile Blood of a Snake: Hematite Bl

Old Harold
Harold was an old man who was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?" Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So .. you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today ." At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time." The nurse fainted.....Old Harold just smiled!

Old Humor
Yankee's baseball game Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill. At first Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head "no". The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was a unanimous request of the entire team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy." Bill hesitates... .but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the fans would love it! Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, "OK, if that is what the fans want." "C' mere Hilly Baby...." With that Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, "Bill, you *&*@%^^$*!!!!" The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering, hooting and hollering, and high-fiving.

Old Hildebrand
Once upon a time lived a peasant and his wife, and the parson of the village had a fancy for the wife, and had wished for a long while to spend a whole day happily with her. The peasant woman, too, was quite willing. One day, therefore, he said to the woman, listen, my dear friend, I have now thought of a way by which we can for once spend a whole day happily together. I'll tell you what. On Wednesday, you must take to your bed, and tell your husband you are ill, and as long as you complain and act being ill properly, and go on doing so until Sunday when I have to preach, I will then say in my sermon that whosoever has at home a sick child, a sick husband, a sick wife, a sick father, a sick mother, a sick brother or whosoever else it may be, and makes a pilgrimage to the gockerli hill in Italy, where you can get a peck of laurel-leaves for a kreuzer, the sick child, the sick husband, the sick wife, the sick father, or sick mother, the sick sister, or whosoever else it may be, will be r

The Old Horse And The Raven
The Old Horse and the Raven This thirty-year-old horse has remained king around here, almost forever it seems... The Old Horse and the Raven It was about a country night ago when a wild wind chased its terrible tail across our valley. Without respect for the sleeping kingdom, it suddenly and unexpectedly had raged through the willows and corrals, tore across our yard, and swept over the backs of the horses, cows, and sheep. It clawed at the snow-cat tarp and the rickety, old rooftops plastering snow on the westward side of everything in its path. The next morning, the old horse that I watch each day, stood shuddering beside the log barn. He knew, as he's known for years, that this was the best place to be during a storm. And he knew, too, that this was the time when the morning rubbed shoulders with the night; when her first ray of sunshine would ricochet off the barn, warming his frail body and burning away the shadows of dawn. Used to be, this ol

The Old Indian Chief..hehhehe
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied; "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work,Medicine Man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled ..... "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Oldie But Goodie
Halloween Party A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuf

An Oldie But...
You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Anyplace is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something But me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car And I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money We won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living You see my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working I say his body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car But is it fast enough so we can fly away We gotta make a decision We leave tonight or live and die this way I reme

Oldie But A Goodie
THIS IS A RANT THAT IS ABOUT A YEAR OLD Fuck this. Here it is the fuckin truth. Plain and simple. You are all fucked. Go ahead and be pissed off at me i don;t give a fuck anymore. The difference between me and you ppl is that i knwo ia m fuycked. You 'll have to erxcuse the typo' si am oin a fuckin rant now. Its time to tell the whoel truth and i don;t giuve a fuck who reads it. No, i dunno if i wanna take the chance because yo have too much shit with you. I cannot be the one the one who will save you, i will not be th eone who will save you. You need to face yoru shit and you need to do it now before it kills you. Do i care about you all. yes i do. if i did not i wouldn;t be writin this right now. And you, get off teh fuckin pot and stoip hiding from yourself. the only difference betwene our lifestyles is that i changed miune from what yours is. Stop fucking hiding. It will kill you. You think i dunno what its like to wanna take my own life, try again. I ahve been there, i have bee

Old In Other Eyes
Welcome to the Country Veiw Home for older folks Prepare yourself to stay awhile This time it ai'nt no joke Suppress the saddness deep inside Cause you tryed to do your best But trying was'nt good enough So alive your laid to rest Your not worth much at eighty two Your last attack gave them quite a scare He's better off at the old folks home They'll give him professional care Unseen your teardrops slowly fall Down the age and wrinkled face They've kicked you out Said you've lost your place What a waste. Jimbo/07 May god grant me death befor I've lost my place.

Oldies But Goodies
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a****ail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it

An Oldie
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their email. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes: People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must rea

Old Is When......
"OLD" IS WHEN . . Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" > > "OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. > > "OLD" IS WHEN . . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.. > > "OLD" IS WHEN .... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. > > "OLD" IS WHEN .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. > > "OLD" IS WHEN .... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. > > "OLD" IS WHEN .. "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fibre today > > "OLD" IS WHEN .... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. > > "OLD" IS WHEN .... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. > > > AND > > "OLD" IS WHEN .... You are not sure these are jokes

Old Is
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

An Old Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!

An Oldie But Well Worth Reposting...
I went to a party Mom, I remembered what you said, You told me not to drink, Mom, So I drank soda instead. I really felt proud inside, Mom, The way you said I would. I didn't drink and drive, Mom, Even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right. Now the party is finally ending, Mom, As everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece. Because of the way you raised me, So responsible and sweet. I started to drive away, Mom, But as I pulled out into the road, The other car didn't see me, Mom, And hit me like a load. As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, "The other guy is drunk," Mom, And now I'm the one who will pay. I'm lying here dying, Mom, I wish you'd get here soon. How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, Mom, And most of it is mine. I hear the

Oldie
What a sorry case she is Cant see her own self worth Dosnt care about her own value Just does whatever she is asked to do You can have her any way you want All you have to do is ask No matter if you love her All you have to do is ask No matter if you hate her You only have to ask So now she drops her head But the shame only lasts so long Allows her self to be objectified Because that’s all shes ever known You can have her any way you want All you have to do is ask No matter if you love her All you have to do is ask No matter if you hate her You only have to ask So now her confidence is gone Fell away with the lustfull sighs Fallowed by the non romantic goodbye She does it cause she is asked to No matter if there is passion You can have her anyway you want All you have to do is ask No matter if you love her All you have to do is ask No matter if you hate her All you h

Oldie But A Goodie... The Diarys Of Men And Women
HER DIARY: Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made lov

An Oldie...enjoy!
Be careful who you wish for They said... And I wished for you With a twinkle and a soft touch You caress my back CRACK! for all the messages I didn't send CRACK! for not being careful of your wrists CRACK! for pushing a point to far And five or so more I can't remember the reasons for My eyes now cry at the sweet release... no reasons but the pain My back now bleeds reminders of how much you love me and why I should love you "Don't forget my love, or I'll remind you some more!" Sometimes I forget On purpose... c. scorpionfish 7/24/06

An Old Italian Man;-)
An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincenzo - I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me. Love, Papa. A few days later he received a letter from his son... Dear Papa - I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie. At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Papa - Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I c

An Old Italian
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead. You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Oldie But Goodie!
Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies." The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.

An Oldie But Goodie From The Blog Vault:
Saturday. Whit a bloody pain in thae arse. James an' Diana came tae thae house wi' Cheyenne an' Sable in tow tae see Dakota, an' when they left, a' bloody blue hell broke loose. Firs', baith Dakota an' Jack make a run for it oot thae gate, an' then Aubrey followed afore we could get thae damned gate closed. Thae two daft ones, we got back wi' only a wee bit o' trouble, but fockin' Aubrey. I dinnae ken whit thae fock got intae him, but thae bloody idiot, bein' a bit teched in thae heid, ta' me an' Ashley on an awfy long trek a'roond thae neighbourhood tae try an' get him. He widnae come near Ashley nor mysel', an sae we telt him 'e wis on his ain, we widnae chase him nae mair, an' went home. Two fockin' hours, an' then he came back an' stood ootside thae gate, waitin' tae be let ba' in happy as a bloody clam. Shyte fer brains dog. There's mair tae be telt, but no' noo. I'll let yae ken mair on the marrow. I jist want tae go tae bed an' see if I cannae dream wi'oot a Hig

"old" Is When...
"OLD" is when... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" "OLD" is when... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're standing barefoot. "OLD" is when... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" is when... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" is when... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" is when... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. "OLD" is when... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today. "OLD" is when... "Getting lucky" means you easily find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" is when... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. and... "OLD" is when... You are not sure these are jokes!

An Old Italian Man
An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son: Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son: Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That'

An Oldie But Goodie
little Johnny was 7 years old and ,like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon

Oldie But Goodie......(stolen)
Little Johnny was 9 years old and,like other boys his age, rather curious.He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from older boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started pan

Oldies Music
if you like oldies, 60s and 70s, come chill with me at the kinky closet, and take a stroll down memory lane to music you grew up on and music your parents played http://www.fubar.com/new_lounge.php?w=1&lid=50962 free coffee, tea and me donuts DJ RANDY

Old Is
WHAT IS OLD OLD' IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one, I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door. 'OLD' IS WHEN..... An 'all-nighter' means not getting up to pee 'OLD' IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by... the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... 'Getting a little action' means I don't need to take any fibre today. 'OLD' IS WHEN..... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

"old" Is When......
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with 2 drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with 2 drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too" The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." "Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only 2 drops of water?" The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my

Old Ironsides
LITTLE KNOWN NAVAL HISTORY... The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers!). However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum." Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores , arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, she set sail for England . In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scutt

Oldies Quiz
Here's a little quiz to see how much you remember about some less-than-important things from a few decades back. It's just for fun Even the wrong answers may bring back a memory or two. Have Fun (but no peeking!). Then, forward it to friends with your score in the box. It might help if you are over 50; this is no 'pushover'. Don't forget to put your score in the subject, when you forward this on. 1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways? A. Flintstones vitamins B. The buttmaster C. Spaghetti D. Wonder Bread E. Orange Juice F. Milk G. Cod Liver Oil 2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was... A. Sugar Ray Robinson B. Roy Orbison C. Gene Autry D. Rudolph Valentino E. Fabian F. Mickey Mantle G. Cassius Clay 3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and... A. It's you B. He is us C. It's the Grinch D. He wasn't home E. He's really mean F. We quit G. He surrendered 4. Good night, David. A. Good night, Chet B. Sleep well C. Good Night, Irene D. Good Night, Gracie

Oldie But Stilll Funny!
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She

The Old In Out
as with anything i have mixed feelings right now.i go in and out of happiness and sadness. thinking of all the events of this past year and all the things ill have to face in my future here.i still have a lot of anger in me from shit that has happend and one thing i dont think i will ever truly get over but i am getting better.i have my moments of reflection that make sad and i still tear up but thats expected.its really hard for me to talk to people i now care about. sometimes i dont say the things that are on my mind and i know i probably should, but its hard for me because i was so used to abuse before its almost like it doenst feel right to say or that im afraid at what type of backlashing i will get even though the things i have to say shouldnt or wouldnt constitute something like that.so yeah im still fucked up, but i recognise and i am working on my issues... even though it may not seem like it.im afraid to be around people right now. i know im still so fragile but strong at th

An Old Irish Verse
MAY THE ROAD RISE UP TO MEET YOU, MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK, MAY THE SUN SHINE WARM UPON YOUR FACE, AND THE RAINS FALL SOT UPON YOUR FIELDS, AND UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND. AN OLD IRISH VERSE

Oldie But Goodie - Hott
Back by popular demand.... The Alley We have just finished our early evening dinner and a few glasses of wine at a restaurant across town. Twilight is nearing. We walk past an alley on the way to our car. You pull me into the alley and forcefully pin me against the wall. I see desire, power, and a hint of darkness in your eyes; it sends chills through my body. You lean in and kiss my lips, gently at first, then nibble at them roughly. I wince at the pain as you press me harder into the wall. You take my breast in your hand and knead it, pinching the nipple and pulling at it. You moan hoarsely into my mouth as you assault my body with your hands Groping, pinching and massaging every inch that you can reach. I understand your desire and push myself into you, giving myself to your needs. You raise my dress to expose my bare, wet pussy. I am wearing no under garments at your request. Your hand glides across my clit and down my juicy lips. You insert two fingers and shove them into me

Old Irish (gaelic) Sayings
(1)Ni heolas go haontios Means: There is no knowledge without unity or (more prosaically & less accurately): You don't know a person until you live with them . (2) Bionn dha insint ar sceal agus dha leagan deag ar amhran Means: There are two versions of/two sides to every story & (at least) twelve versions of every song. (3)Is maith an scathan suil charad Means: A (true) friend's eye is a good mirror . (4) Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach Means: An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse . (5) An te nach mbionn laidir ni follair do bheith glic ! Means: He who is not strong must needs be cunning!

Oldie Hard Action With Lawyer
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Old Joke But Still A Good One
At the end of a long crime fighting day, Superman decides he needs to relax for a few hours, so he rings spiderman to see if he'd like to go out for a drink. Spiderman replies "No, I have to repair my web spinner." So, Superman rings a few more of his super hero friends and they're all busy. He decides in the end to go for a quick super-fly around the world to clear his mind before bed time. As he passes over Wonder-Woman's mansion he sees her lying naked and spread eagle next to her pool. Hmmm he thinks, with my super powers I'll fly down for a quickie and before she realizes I'll be gone. So he swoops down and "WHAM BAM thank you maam" and he's gone. Wonder- Woman shreiks "What was that?" And the invisible man cries "I don't know, but I've sure got a sore ass!!!"

Old Joke !
A reporter decided that he was going to write an article on a local nursing home for old comedians. He made an appointment to take a tour of the facility. While he was there in the common room there were five retired comedians sitting around yelling out numbers and laughing. One would yell out "92" and everyone would start guffawing very loudly. Another would yell out "75" and more laughter would occur and one of them fell off the chair he was sitting on and began to roll around on the floor. The reporter was puzzled by this behavior, went to the director of the facility and asked him what was going on. The director explained that these comedians knew all the jokes and numbered them. So rather than telling the jokes the yell out the numbers. The reporter says "That sounds interesting. Can I join in?" The director says "Sure, let me introduce you to them." The director takes the reporter over to the comedians. The comedians say "Let's hear what you got." The reporter says "13" and

Old Jokes New Twists
1 Knock, knock who's there ? your mothers a whore! 2 How many pollocks does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one... there not retarded.. you raciest fuck. 3 A man needs a place to stay for the night. He goes to this farm house and the farmer says,"you can stay at place but I have these three holes in the hall don't put your dick in um". The man says,"why not"? The farmer says," Cuz it's a hole in a wall; you sick bastard".

Old Joke But Still Hilarious!
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a Truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you Lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life." How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you even re

Old Jack
Old Jack Once upon a very long time ago, there lived a great big pumpkin. I can remember walking down that old country road and seeing that poor old pumpkin just sitting in the pumpkin patch. Nobody else wanted him because he was just too big and it would have been too much work to clean and carve him. Ah, old Jack. He sure was a handsome pumpkin. I decided right then and there, that I just had to have that pumpkin. I picked up that pumpkin and I carried him all the way home, all by myself. He was a very heavy pumpkin and I just about broke my back getting him home but, I made it safely. I lived in an old log cabin all by myself. I was a lonely old fellow, way back then. It was just me and my old black cat, Bumpkins. Me and Bumpkins go way back. He was just a tiny kitten when he showed up at my doorstep one Halloween night, many years ago. And, do you want to know something? Bumpkins was the only one that has turned up at my doorstep since. Over the years, I boug

An Old Joke
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him. 9) When David was hit by a roc

Old Journal Enteries
Thursday, January 24, 2008 Thru your eyes! I am changing the way I see things and I want to thank you for that. I once saw addicts as selfish greedy people. But as I take away all of those flaws, I look deep into your eyes and see something else. I see despair and pain only wanting approval from other people. You know you want to be something they are proud but just cant make those changes. I don't believe it was all your all fault some characteristics are innate regardless of those drugs. I remember seeing this look in your eyes and at the time I didn't know how to deal with it. Instead of pushing you away I should of turned to you with open arms. You needed me and I wasn't there for you, even if you wouldn't excepted my help I should of least tried. I never honestly sat down and talked to you about it or even told you I was proud of you. I see now, I was very negative towards you. You had a lot of great qualities about you, that are endless to talk about. At the end of al

Old Join Blog
The Global Bombers & Family Club Global Bombers & Family Club We will bomb 24/7, any give away, or if you just want leveled up call of our crews. I am the Owner of family Corky1952 SpecialAngel *Founder The GlobalBombers this is the home page corky1952@ fubar there are a few things u need to have tho,and one is a salute on profile There will be a short probation so we can see if u really want to be a bomber,and if u know how.. If u dont know we can teach u if u want to learn The other is the willness to vote and help You will have to add the family name to your profile You will need to read the rules and fallow them You will have to get a salut if u dont have one Add the founders to your contacts so we can get hold of u and u us Cause thats what we do,vote,comment and rate But bombing isnt every thing,we take care of out family and friends first I will look for helpers and work on having things to do for f

Old Journal's.
Was going through my notebooks and journals, remembering my days when I was in school and came across one of my many Study Books lol. It was filled with notes I took while I did my brief hour a day in the public library at Auburn High School while I was there. Get this..."Sex. Or Sexual Activity. Or Sexual Intercourse. Whichever best fits it with an appropriate tone. Something so unknown sounds ...so interesting for a study, while all the while only grasped through experience. Through what I've been to read and learn in books provides mild insight, offering considerable amount of details of what the human body goes through.-Pupils Dilate.-Arteries Constrict.-Heart Rate increases.-Core Temperture rises.-Bloodpressure skyrockets.-Respiration/Breathing becomes rapid and shallow.-The brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to everywhere; anything from brief and sudden... to rapid and relentless.-Secretions spit from every gland; whether male or female.-And the muscles tense

Old Jara Began His Career With Second-division C.a.i. In Argentina, Scoring 12 Goals In 61 G
FRISCO, Texas - FC Dallas has signed Argentine forward Matias Jara to try to build depth at striker. Coach Schellas Hyndman said Tuesday the club needed more experience at striker because of injuries. Jara played last season with second-division Guillermo Brown in Argentina, scoring two goals in 15 appearances. He played with third-division Chacarita Juniors the previous season. The 25-year-old Jara began his career with second-division C.A.I. in Argentina, scoring 12 goals in 61 games. He made 14 appearances with first-division Godoy Cruz in 2009-10, scoring twice. Colin Kaepernick Elite Jersey . Coach Mike Smith went for the win, sticking with his starters all the way, but the Falcons lost the game and two key defensive players to injuries. Josh Freeman threw a touchdown pass to Mike Williams and Doug Martin ran for 142 yards, including a 40-yard touchdown run, in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 22-17 victory over Atlanta on Sunday. Colin Kaepernick Womens Jersey . -- Ryan Bris

Old Keybaord
My laptop keybaord has been punched, spilled on, and abused for the last 3 years and is finally wearing down a bit. I have been typing fast and pressing enter expecting my words to be completed... but, when i look up to proof read a little, I find my wording and letters missing. Damn...

An Old Letter
I found this old letter while deleting some old files today. Looking back, I wish I would have sent it. I almost never reread things I write, but I read this, not bad. I should have sent it huh? A love letter to you 12/26/2005 Dumb girl, A love letter to your heart. A letter your eyes will never see. You have me you dumb girl. There is no need for your games. No need for your being so coy. See, I know your heart. I know I am in it, even though you dont want me to know it just yet. Some secrets you cant keep to yourself. Some secrets arent secrets at all. I already know. Take my hand, walk with me a while. We can talk of nothing for the rest of our lives. We can share everything we see as we stay by each others side. The smallest things, and the worst life brings to our feet. Together we can make what ever we want to make of it. Even at your worst, I am still by your side. No matter how you decide to be, I am with you. I will stay by you, never changing how I feel to

Old Lady!!
How To Get Out of A Ticket An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The

3 Old Ladies From Oklahoma
This is a detective story So Pay Close Attention!!! Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely...mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go. Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base? Think! Think some more!! You'r gonna love it . Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!

An Old Love
An Old Love by Robert Louis Arehart She took my hand and led me on, this sprightly, dancing love of mine. She twirled and sparkled in the dawn while building fancies rich as wine. Her gossamer filaments broached my head, the threads entwined my senses there. Feelings as old as man's own dread grew rife within that desert, sere. We fled together along life's sea, following the span upon the chart, and I knew of love as it should be in my sparkling, silent, deepest heart. Our course was true, with fine intent, we sailed along our well-filled path. The years, like days, flew as we went with no regrets, no aftermath. The love, remembered, filled us up. Our souls rejoiced within our breast. Delicious were the feasts we'd sup and evening's frolics brought us rest. She's still my love, 'tho years have gone. We kept our hearts, as one, in tune. I can't regret being now alone for memories grant I'll see her soon...

The Old Lady And The Sex Shop
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models" The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ? The clerk responds, "Yes we do." " Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbbitch offffff?"

Old Lady And The Radio
An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. Dear Safety Harbor Middle School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass. Thank you for that opportunity. Sincerely, Edna

Old Love
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind Catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail." The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

An Old Love Letter I Wrote Someone.
As the fire's ember glow cares her face she stairs deeply into. She moistens her lips while in thought. Her coffee eyes reflect the light with a flicker. Knees drawn to her chest my bulky flannel shirt is tuggued to her ankles. The top passed over buttons shows a phantom of her freed breast. I find myself pondering her thoughts. Thoughts too vast for my grasp. My tempatation is never more absolute. As I feel the longing just to touch her. Just to be in those vast contemplations. To be yearned for as I did her. Discreetly I decamp from my view hoping for her endorsement. I positioned myself close enough on to her I could feel the heat from her sultry body. She leans against me and my body feels conflict between her warmth and the night's crisp air. Her natural fragrance I adore, my reaction is none the less pavlovion. I wrap my arms around her. Embracing her hands, she out stretches her fingers. Lightly I chart the lives of her hands with my fingers. She watches the

An Old Lady
An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."But madam," he said, "you must know that your derriere is exposed!"The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

Old Ladies N Condoms
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Maude: What in the hell is that? Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Maude: Where did you get it? Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. "Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.

Old Love
Old Love A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind Catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail."The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Old Lady Goes To Heaven
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful blood-curdling screams. "Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's just someone having the holes bored in their shoulder blades for the wings." The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams. "Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "now what's happening?" "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo." "I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to hell." ''You can't go there," says St. Peter, "you'll be raped and sodomized." "Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that!"

Old Lady
A little old lady decides to join The Hell's Angels! One day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club." The guy is amused, and decides to humor her a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks; "Do you have a motorcycle?" The little old lady replies, "Yep... My bike's parked over there," and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway. The biker asks, "Do you drink?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table." The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool." The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad Mama. Tell me, have you ever been picked up by t

Old Ladies And The Stroke
The Stroke. Three little old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tilly, Bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

2 Old Ladies
2 old Ladies Two old ladies are outside their nursing homes, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. MAUDE: What in the heck is that? MABEL: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn?t get wet. MAUDE: Where did you get it? MABEL: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. ?Doesn?t matter, Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.? The pharmacist fainted.

Old Lady's Back Yard
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and once in a while a $20 bill flies out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag ." "Damn!", says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if I can find some of them. Thanks for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!" So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his willie through the bushes, I say: '$20 or off it comes!' " "Hey, not a bad idea!", laughs the cop. "Good luck! But by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Wel

Old Lady
A lonely woman, aged 80, decided that it was time to get married >> She put an ad in the local paper that read: >> >> HUSBAND WANTED! >> MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (80's), >> MUST NOT BEAT ME, >> MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, >> AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! >> ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. >> >> On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she >> opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. >> >> He had no arms or legs. >> >> The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are >>you? >> Just look at you....you have no legs!" >> The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!" She >> snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man >> smiled, "Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed >> intently. "Are you still good in bed?" >> With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile >> and said,

A Old Lady's Peom
What do you see,nurses,what do you see? What are you thinking when you're looing at me? A carbby old women,not very wise,uncertain of habit,with faraway eyes? Who dribbles her food and makes no replay,when you say in a loud voice,"I do wish you'd try!" Who seems not to notice the thinks that you do,and forever is losing a stocking or shoe Who, resisting or not,lets you do as you will,with bathing and feeding,the long day to fill Is that what you are thinking? Is that what you see? Then open your eyes nurse;you're looking at me. I'll tell you who i am as i sit here so still,as i do at your bidding,as i eat at your will. I am a small child of ten with father and mother,brothers and sissters,who love one another. A young girl of sixteen,with wings on her feet,dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet. A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,remember the vows that i promised to keep. At twenty-five now,i have young of my own,who need me to guide and secure a happy home.

The Old Lady In My Room.
When I was a little boy. Maybe about six years old. My Mom and I lived in a housing project here in Tucson. It was near 22nd Street and 10th Ave. My mom did her best to provide for me. My dead beat Dad never contibuted anything to our house hold. So alot of times we went with out. It was a rough area. I saw alot. Like the time a Wino who had been stabbed decided to bleed to death on our front porch. Yeah... I was always scared. It shaped me into a tuff street wise kid. Now I told you this story to tell you another. The house we lived in was spooky. Solid brick. I would spend a lot of time in my room playing Cowboy. I was Trampus from the Virginian. My horse's name was Cactus just like his. I could spend hours pretending to set up camp. Every now and then I would come out and ask if I could go the the store. As I said in the above story. There wasn't much money for extras. But I asked my Mom if I could go to the store to buy myself an icecream. My Mom Would ask; Danny, Where did you

2 Old Ladies
Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was. The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her. The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, “For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in.”

Old Ladies...
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her. He whispered, "I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME. YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY." The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her. As she was slow ly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY." So! The old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog. IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince. THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS. SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS. NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?

Old Love......isn't Always True Love!!!!
So have you ever thought what you would do if someone from your past that you thought you loved came back into your life??? Well, last night at work, on my break, that someone called me. I had a lot of mixed feelings about it. I was happy to think that after 5 years that someone would still think of me. the problem is, I really care a lot for someone else and I wasn't sure how to handle it. It turns out that I really didn't have to handle it. It took care of itself. I know that he will keep calling me, but I also know that we can be just friends. I think I needed to prove to myself how much I loved that other person! Life does go on even when your heart tells you that you can't go on without this person. I guess that it didn't hurt that at the same time I was talking to one guy the other showed up in a strange way! So the first guy thought that I was seeing the second guy, which is the guy I'm in love with but not seeing!! My life has to be the most complicated life in history!!!!! But

Old Love
Old love The old love lives of itself exactly Not of other people's culture or presence. It swims it demands nor it asks for. Nothing it waits, But of the destination they go to deny the sentence. The old love has deep roots, Made of suffering and beauty. For those it dives in the infinite, and for these it supplants the nature. If in all part the time pulls down What it was great flaring e, the old love, however, never falece and to each day appears more loving. More burning hot, but poor of hope. Sadder? Not. It won pain, and shines in its sings obscure, In such a way older the more love.

Old L.a. Tonight
Old L.A. Tonight [O.Osbourne - Z.Wylde - J.Purdell] Look In The Future Look In To My Eyes And Tell Me Everything's All Right Tell Me Where We're Going I'm So Afraid 'Cos I Don't Know What's Going On With My Life But It'll Be All Right Tonight Will It Be All Right Tonight Are We Doing All Right In Old L.A. Tonight? Sitting By The Ocean Mapping Out My Plans Of Action, Baby They Include You I Wish You'd Send A Message Maybe I'm Just Better Off Not Knowing Who Knew But It'll Be All Right Tonight I'm Gonna Be All Right Tonight Are We Doing All Right In Old L.A. Tonight? Those Summer Nights When I Look In Your Eyes I'm Falling To Pieces, Pieces Out Of My Mind And I'll Never Know Why I'm Falling To Pieces, Pieces Who Could Imagine Such A Thing Could Happen To You? It's Gonna Be All Right In Old L.A. Tonight Those Summer Nights When I Look In Your Eyes I'm Falling To Pieces, Pieces Out Of My Mind And I'll Never Know Why I'm Falling To Pieces

Old Lyrics
When I grow old And my memory Leads me deep into the fog where it abandons me Will you remind me Of who I used to be When I was younger? When I am old And the hands of time Have ravaged all the remnants of my fragile mind Will you still tell me Of how it used to be When I was stronger? If time is cruel And it takes away All the recollections of my younger days Please help me reminisce Of all these past events When days were brighter And years from now When I can't recall The faces and the names I used to know so well Promise you'll help me Regain those memories When my load was lighter When we were young And the world seemed Full of nothing else but possibility I still remember Blankets of whispers That said 'Forever' But if autumn comes And your love for me Has withered like the leaves that fall from every tree Will you lie to me So I can still believe That you still love me? That you still love me?

Old Love
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail." The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Old Love
At the nursing home, Abe and Edna had struck up a romantic relationship. Since both of them were in their eighties, their physical contact was rather limited. However, every evening as they sat together on the sofa, Edna would unzip Abe's fly, pull out his penis and hold it in her hand for twenty minutes. This satisfied the two of them adequately. One day, Abe told Edna it was all off. He told her he was leaving her for Mabel - one of the other old dears at the nursing home. Naturally, Edna was a little miffed. "Heavens! What's she got that I haven't got?'' she asks. ''Parkinson's,'' said Abe. Print This Joke

An Old Lady
A senile old woman in a nursing home took all her cloths off, put on a cape and began running all through the halls. She came to an open door. She went in and shouted, "SUPER PUSSY!" Nobody said a word! She ran down the hall to another open door. She went in and shouted, "SUPER PUSSY!" Again, nobody said a word. She ran down the hall into the dining room and up to a elderly man at a table. She shouts, "SUPER PUSSY!" The elderly man says, "EH?!" She shouts, again, "SUPER PUSSY!" The elderly man looks her up, down and says, "I'll have the soup!"

Old Lady In Court
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring Evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: & nbsp; No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney Why not? Lit

Old Lady Betting
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", r

Old Life, New Life, Yellow Life, Blue Life......
Old life, new life, yellow life, blue life............ Old life - No time for online video games New life - Must......make.....lvl 10......villan (cause Ray sucks) Old life - It's already noon. You slept most of the day away! New life - Dude you're up before two. It's way early! Old life - You had sex with two guys this year. You're going to hell! New life - You slept with two guys LAST NIGHT and just now telling me WTF! Old Life - Why do you need condoms in your purse? New life - You're only carrying five condoms. I hope he brings his own! Old life - You're going out dressed like that? You don't have to worry about Purgatory you're going straight to hell!! New life - You're wearing that to Purgatory. Don't you think you're a little over dressed? Old life - Are you just going to play video games and surf on line all day? New life - Dude you got to try this video game and hey while you're surfing on line look at this! Old life - If you went to bed at a decen

Old Lady In A Sex Shop
The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: 'Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?' The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.' The old woman then asks: 'Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchess ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries? The clerk responds, 'Yes we do.' She asks: ' Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?'

Old Lady Goes To Heaven
An old lady dies and goes to Heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. 'Don't worry about that' says St. Peter 'It's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings.' The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my!' says the old lady 'now what is happening?' 'Not to worry' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.' 'I can't do this' says the old lady, 'I m going to Hell.' 'You can't go there' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.' 'Maybe so' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.'

An Old Letter
was reading an old letter I had writen to an old GF and found this in there looking left looking right tossing turning through the night not a sight not a sound not a feeling not a touch open my eyes and your not by my side my ears hear no sound of your sweet breath my finger's not feeling your hair running between them my skin not feeling your soft touch this is every night this is every day every minute that your away I know I dont say it like I should and I dont always sound excited to hear your voice but I wanted to say Thank You For Loving Me Sometimes and now looking back actions say more then words but some times you still need to say whats in your heart

3 Old Ladies
Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!" The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

Old Lady And Cops
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don' t have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, would you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her

Old Ladies
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her

Old Lady Goes To The Doctor
One day an old lady went to the doctor because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said, 'You have the crabs'. She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin. She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him. The doctor said, 'You probably have the crabs' 'No' she said, 'I am an eighty year old virgin.' Frustrated, she went to a third doctor. She said, 'Doctor can you help me? I have an itch in my crotch. Don't tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old virgin. It cannot be the crabs.' The doctor said, 'Jump on the table and let's have a look.' After examining her, the doctor proclaimed, 'Ma'am, your right, you do not have the crabs. This cherry is sooooo old, you have fruit flies.'

Old Lady
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a se.x shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiillll.dosss?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dil.dos. Actually we carry many different models." The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries? The clerk responds, "Yes we do." She asks: " Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo t tturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabb.itch offffff?"

The Old Lady
There's an old lady in the carpet store and she bent over and touches the carpet and she farted, When she gets up she notices that there is a salesman standing behind her. She then asks the salesman, "How much is this carpet?" The salesman replies, "Well, lady...if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

An Old Lady And Her Fence
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.' 'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me..' 'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?' 'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes.' 'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. OK? Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?' 'Well, you know', say

Old Lyrics Notebook
SUPER DUTY 455 Hood Mood August 2008 Just the other day …..girl Looking in the rear-view mirror at anther life And just around the corner girl The fast black corners of my mind On the edge of reasons…no reason Our love could have made it out alive A small disaster The pain which won’t abide And you speeding through the mountains Up on Mulholland Dr. My heart riding shotgun For one last fucking ride Chorus SUPER DUTY 455 SHE DECORATES THE HILLSIDES Bits and pieces of her insides Super Duty 4-5-5 Just the other night..girl In the confounds of my mind Remember that you hurt me And at the bottom of some hillside Guess who they will find Drips across the asphalt Pump the brakes of love girl Don’t take this corner blind How can this love be empty No fluid in the lines SUPER DUTY 455 Mangled burned demented steel Her a mess behind the wheel Super Duty 4-5-5 You had to have that car girl Do you remember why Like I remember your promise to a

Old L.a Tonight By Ozzy Osbourne
Look In The FutureLook In To My Eyes And Tell MeEverything's All RightTell Me Where We're GoingI'm So Afraid 'Cos I Don't KnowWhat's Going On With My LifeBut It'll Be All Right TonightWill It Be All Right TonightAre We Doing All Right In Old L.A. Tonight?Sitting By The OceanMapping Out My Plans Of Action,Baby They Include YouI Wish You'd Send A MessageMaybe I'm Just Better Off NotKnowing Who KnewBut It'll Be All Right TonightI'm Gonna Be All Right TonightAre We Doing All Right In Old L.A. Tonight?Those Summer NightsWhen I Look In Your EyesI'm Falling To Pieces, PiecesOut Of My MindAnd I'll Never Know WhyI'm Falling To Pieces, PiecesWho Could Imagine Such A ThingCould Happen To You?It's Gonna Be All Right In Old L.A. TonightThose Summer NightsWhen I Look In Your EyesI'm Falling To Pieces, PiecesOut Of My MindAnd I'll Never Know WhyI'm Falling To Pieces, PiecesIt's Gonna Be All Right In Old L.A. Tonight

Old Love
PLEASE RATE THIS FOR ME! Old Love A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air. The wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, 'You need a piece of tail.' The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'

Old Loves
Winds whip about as skies darken The hot electric words dance in the the thunder It is a clamor of truths in the textures Of a shroud of deeper greys veiling Rays of light, or warmth. The swirl stirs not only the rustling leaves A door opens to see the foretold. And the first few drops of nature Her love of cleansing drop from the heavens Washing over and about me Breathing in the moment and it is refreshing Rolling over the distances of plain and mountain This thunder comes into the soul and bone. The nuance rains, washing the oily voices away. Alive and free and stepping ito its torrent An intensity is cleansed of tarnish To stand amidst this beauty With its dole of tthe dirty clinging. And the out the door come the old pair of loves A subtle softness airs from them A gaze finds them in the storm And their hands move to each other From want will and relex Hand in hand. . . .

Old Loves
Sometimes it is very hard to let go of old loves and what might have been. When you think of your old love you picture all the good times. You recall how they were there for you. You can never forget their touch, smell, and their little ways of making you feel so wonderful. How does one let go? http://friendlyhelp.jimdo.com

Old Lady Bet
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office.The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was, of course, curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets."The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 t

Old Love
I woke this morning to see you there, lookin at me with that loving stare. The way u bath me with that gentle touch reminds me of why I loved u so much. Suddenly feeling my heart skip a beat, relizing that my old love is Me. Written By Karen D. W

2 Old Men
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!" "DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER." HIS FRIEND SAYS, "I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH." "A HALLOWEEN WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW!

Old Man
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” ************************************************* Well dressed man is the man without a wedding ring LOL ************************************************* LITTLE GIRL IN CHURCH: "Why is the bride dressed in white?" MOMMY: "White is the color of joy, and today is most joyful day of her life." LITTLE GIRL: "Then why is the groom wearing black?"

Old Men Can Still Think Quick
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Old men can still think fast!

Old Men Can Still Think Fast
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices s houting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Old Men Might Be A Good Thing
At 85 years of age, Patrick a healthy and attractive Irishman from County Mayo Ireland (True story?) married Colleen, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband was so old, Colleen decided that after their wedding she and Patrick should have separate bedrooms, because she was concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Colleen prepared herself for bed & the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock came, the door opened & there was Patrick, her 85-year-old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All went well, Patrick took leave of his bride, & she prepared to go to sleep. After a few minutes Colleen heard another knock on her bedroom door. It was Patrick. Again he was ready for more "action." Somewhat surprised Colleen consented for more coupling. When the newlyweds were done, Patrick kissed his bride, bid her a fon

Old Money Defeats Coast Guard
NEWSFLASH! US coast guard deep sixes plans to fire live ammunition (for anti-terror exercises) on Lake Michigan. Why the change of heart? Usually the military gets its way...no? Well, here is where the vulgar display that is "Cash" rears its ugly head. Opponents of the proposition comprised mostly of yacht clubs, Macinaw boat racers, and all around deep pocketed boat hobbyists. Big fucking deal. Right? This is for "anti-terror" drills. I was brainwashed to believe thoes help fight invisible enemies. The military are the strong arms of government. They would surely win out? No. The old money of the yacht clubs held meetings firecely opposing the proposition, and I'm sure they greased a few wheels here and there to sway the decision towards no. Oh well, maybe I'm being dark, cynical, or even jaded... Maybe the coast guard had a change in heart... Maybe they figured people WOULD GET HURT... but then again we test nuclear bombs in the desert. No chance of hurt there? Right? Disgust

Old Men Have Daily Schedules, Too!
I wake up each morning, scratch my ass and head, Then read the day's obits to see if I'm dead, And seeing I'm not I get up for a piddle, Then crawl back in bed where I diddle a little. At six I make coffee and drink it down black, And eat me some toast, without teeth I just smack. I turn on the TV, tune in to 'Today' And watch that cute Katie, she'd make a great lay. I watch for a while till I drop off and doze, Then wake with a start and go put on my clothes. If it is not raining I go for a walk And have me a good time just hearing me talk. But if it is raining I pick up the phone And call up my kids who have left me alone. I find it amusing to make them feel bad For not ever vis'ting their feeble old dad. At lunchtime I slurp on a bowl of beef soup, Then just before naptime I take a long poop, But if constipation has clogged up my tract I drink some fresh prune juice to get it unpacked. And daily I tune to the 'Lawrence Welk Show' To hear the best music

Old Man At The Beach
Once upon a time there was a little old man that really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning, he looked in the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was sun-tanned all over except for his penis. He decided to do something about it. He promptly went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis. A little while later, two old ladies, one walking with a cane happened by. When she saw this thing sticking out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane. She said to her friend, "There ain't no justice in this world.". Her friend asked her what she meant. "Well," she replied When I was twenty, I was curious about it. When I was thirty, I enjoyed it. When I was forty, I asked for it. When I was fifty, I paid for it. When I was sixty, I prayed for it. When I was seventy, I forgot about it. And now that I'm eighty, the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old

Old Married Bikers
A biker & his wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little teddy that she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband & says, "Honey, Do you remember this?" He looks up at her & says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married." She says, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?" He nods & says, "Yes dear, I still remember." "Well, what is it?" she asks. He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits & screw your brains out." She giggles & says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?" Again he looks her up & down & finally replies, "Mission Accomplished."

The Old Man
HE SITS AND WATCHES THE WINDS BLOW THE CLOUDS FLOAT THE SUN SHINES THE TIME IS HERE HE SEES-- THE CARS ZOOM BY THE CROWD SCRAMBLES FOR THE BUST THE LONG LINEAT THE FAST FOOD WINDOW THE TRAFFIC JAM HE HEARS-- THE NONSENSIBLE BABLING THE IFS THE WHENS THE HURRY HE SITS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD HE IS CONFUSED AND WONDERS WHAT'S THE RUSH? HE KNOWS NOT THE ANSWER HE ONLY KNOWS--TIME IS NOW HE SITS AND WATCHES HE SEES THE WIND HE HEARS THE SUN HE TOUCHES THE CLOUDS HE ONLY KNOWS-- HE IS CELTIC CHARMS IMPITUS CONFRACTUS

Old Men Are Disgusting.
so, as we all know by now, i got shit canned again last month. honestly, i did not make much of an effort to find gainful employment until about two weeks ago. yep, that's right, me and quite a few quarts of ice cream sat home for five weeks and enjoyed the holidays and my family on my couch. i don't really regret it, i got to spend lots of time with the boy and we sort of reconnected. i was feeling a little downhearted about the whole mommying thing, but after the past month or so i'm feeling a lot more confident. i suppose i just needed to find the patience within myself. of course, i'm broke and i have no car, but really those material articles can't compare. anyway, i digress. last week i began temporary employment with enterprise, the rental car company. now, i assure you, i foresaw that this was not the position for me, as the pay was less than what i desired and there's no actual career path to follow. but i was downing nutter butters like popcorn, and something had to

An Old Man Goes To The Wizard
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

The Old Man And The Marine
The Old Man and The Marine One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row

Old Man
Old Man An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alliga

2 Old Men
2 Old guys Two very elderly friends, Keith and Eugene, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Eugene didn't show up. Keith didn't think much about it, figured maybe he had a cold or some such. But after Eugene hadn't shown up for a week or so, Keith really got worried. However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Keith couldn't remember where Eugene lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month passed and Keith figured old Eugene had gone to his heavenly reward, but one day Keith approached the park and, lo and behold, there sat Eugene! Keith was very excited and happy to see him and told him so! Then he said, "For crying out loud Eugene, what happened to you???" Eugene replied, "I have been in jail." "Jail???" cried Keith. "What in the world for???" "Well," Eugene said, "You know Sue, that cute little

The Old Man And His Grandson
There was once a very old man, whose eyes had become dim, his ears dull of hearing, his knees trembled, and when he sat at table he could hardly hold the spoon, and spilt the broth upon the table-cloth or let it run out of his mouth. His son and his son's wife were disgusted at this, so the old grandfather at last had to sit in the corner behind the stove, and they gave him his food in an earthenware bowl, and not even enough of it. And he used to look towards the table with his eyes full of tears. Once, too, his trembling hands could not hold the bowl, and it fell to the ground and broke. The young wife scolded him, but he said nothing and only sighed. Then they bought him a wooden bowl for a few half-pence, out of which he had to eat. They were once sitting thus when the little grandson of four years old began to gather together some bits of wood upon the ground. What are you doing there, asked the father. I am making a little trough, answered the child, for father and mother t

The Old Man Made Young Again
At the time when our Lord still walked this earth, he and St. Peter stopped one evening at a smith's and received free quarters. Then it came to pass that a poor beggar, hard pressed by age and infirmity, came to this house and begged alms of the smith. St. Peter had compassion on him and said, Lord and master, if it please you, cure his torments that he may be able to win his own bread. The Lord said kindly, smith, lend me your forge, and put on some coals for me, and then I will make this ailing old man young again. The smith was quite willing, and St. Peter blew the bellows, and when the coal fire sparkled up large and high our Lord took the little old man, pushed him in the forge in the midst of the red-hot fire, so that he glowed like a rose-bush, and praised God with a loud voice. After that the Lord went to the quenching tub, put the glowing little man into it so that the water closed over him, and after he had carefully cooled him, gave him his blessing, when behold the little

Old Mans Confession
An elderly man walks into a al. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins?" Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?" Man: "I'm Jewish." Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?" Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody.

The Old Man's Tomato Garden
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad A few days later he received this letter from his son. Dear Dad, Whatever you do, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES. Love Vinnie At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

Old Man
Old Man Old man broken and blue Walks the streets with nothing to do Asks for nothing, gets abuse Why do people look confused? Old man sadness in his eyes Watches all the passers by Nobody gives him the time of day He gave his blood so they could live this way Old man battered and blue Looks dejected lonely for you Lives in the past where memories are good Looks in the bins for some rotten food Old man Lift up your smile Don't feel dejected all of the while Someone will show you this world is alright Someone will offer you a bed for the night Old man brush away the tears You're still strong after all the years Old man don't you cry Everyone someday will die Copyright FluffyBuns 2000©

Old Man And A Parrot
There was once an old man and a parrot living all alone together for like 40 years. One day, the parrot came to the old man and said, "you know, I've never had a woman in my life." So the old man, as a favour to his best friend, went to the pet store and talked the owner into letting him use a female parrot for one night for the fee of 40 dollars. He took the female home, put it into the cage with his parrot, covered the cage and went to bed. He was awoken in the middle of the night to the female parrot screaming she was being killed. He ran out and pulled the cover off the cage. There he saw his male parrot ripping all the feathers off of the female. "What are you doing?" the old man screamed. The parrot replied, "Are you kidding, for 40 dollars, I at least want the bitch naked!"

The 'old Man' - A Father's Day Remembrance
I got this from another website, it is a long read, but in lite of what today is,it touch me and I hoped you all would enjoy it. The 'Old Man' - A Father's Day Remembrance AUTHOR: RON WINTER (TWS MEMBER) This Father's Day marks the eighth since the "Old Man" passed away. Despite knowing him for nearly 53 years, it has taken this long for me to put into words what an incredible paradox of a human being he was, and how even with all that could be characterized as faults and weaknesses, I still have a deep respect for him, and miss the good parts of him every day. I don't remember exactly when I started referring to him as the Old Man, except that he wasn't old then. In the village of Wynantskill, New York, about 10 miles east of Albany, where I spent my teen years back in the 60s, most of the kids I grew up with called their fathers the "old man," as in "My old man really belted me last night." I do know that I never thought of calling him Old Man to his face. Which brin

Old Men Can Still Think Fast
An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road, and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee.. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out

The Old Maid Virgins
There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins. One Friday night Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin. I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!" Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...12 o'clock... Finally about 1:30AM the front door flies open. In runs Gladys...straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty. "Oh Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"

Old Man Or Old Woman
These are archetypal figures of wisdom or spiritual power in dreams. For many people, the role of the father or mother has been lost in society through either divorce, workaholic, or some other emotional dysfunction. The psyche is prone to look for versions of this loss wherever it can create them, even out of the self. Often times, these characters personify and validate an internal source of wisdom that has been written off by the psyche. It may be that you are confronted with a problem that escapes solution because of the most conscious world view you ascribe to. However, another means of problem-solving that you view as old-fashioned may be effective. The wisdom figure in your dream is trying to teach you this truth. Do you fear or disdain either your lineage or the prospects of your own aging? Are you ambivalent about the purported wisdom of your elders concerning life choices you are now facing? Are you looking for or missing some wisdom that would aid your life-quest

The Old Man And The Marine
The Old Man and The Marine One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here.” The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a ro

Old Man's Story
Old Man's Story A young boy I, I stood beside the man who was my sire. He spoke to warn of many things, still I burned my hand on fire. A sharp clawed cat, a barbed wire fence, oh YES! I learned, Of this and that. "My tree of Life" he pointed far, I looked yet did not see, The truth of the words he spoke, or what he was telling me. "My Father." he said, touching my head, "Told me about this place," The tree of life is where one puts the Gold of your life's embrace. So young, I did not understand, and the day I said goodbye, The very last words my sire spoke were, "Son, you really have to try!" A grown man now, yes late in life, I stood upon that place, Where my Father spoke to me the words my mind failed to embrace. "The tree of life" is what he said, I looked across the woods, I realized just one didn't fit, from the point of where I stood. I went to the base of that now large tree, I realized what I had found, My Grandfather had buried all his wealth within

The Old Motor
The Old Motor... He's 80, she's 20. It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying: "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age? "He answered, "You've got to keep the old motor running." The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said: "You're amazing! How do you do it?" He again said: "You've got the keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse then said: "Well, well, well!!! You certainly are quite a man!" He responded again, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse said: "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black."

Old Man
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Old Man:-))
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him. When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?" The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!!"

Old Man - Weekend
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you a

The Old Man
'The Old Man' The tears have all been shed now We've said our last goodbyes, His souls been blessed He's laid to rest, And it's now I feel alone. He was more than just my Father My teacher, my best friend; And he'll still be heard In the songs we shared When I play them on my own. And I will never forget him For he made me what I am; Though he may be gone Memories linger on_ And I miss him The Old Man. As a child he'd take me walking By mountain, field and stream And he showed me things Not known to kings, And secret between him and me, Like the colours on a pheasant As he rises in the dawn Or how to fish, or makes a wish Beside a fairy tree. I thought he'd live forever He seemed so big and strong But the minutes fly, And the years roll by For a Father and his little one. And suddenly when it happened There was so much left unsaid, No second chance To tell him "Thanks", For everything he'd done And I will never forget him For he made me w

Old Man Just Can't Accept It.
So i posted a mumm about the first social security applicant from the baby-boom generation. This old fart started bashing me and my inbox. Here is the mumm. Here's the story. Read from bottom up. (i give in)514x0r:Your probably right, government agencies do mistakenly put huge images saying things that are not correct. my fault you win. On 10/16/2007, whitebyrd@fubar.com wrote: (can't admit defeat) The ball your worried about I don't give a crap about as you haven't done I planned for my retirement & don't need SS so Go talk to SS before you quote them! On 10/16/2007, k514x0r@fubar.com wrote: Here's where i own him I don't think the media is god by an means. What i do believe is that when the media says something the world seems to prepare itself and situations get labeled. I guarantee you will see more and more of this bullshit as the year goes on. And why dont you look at the big fucking image on the social security website the ball is in motion my friend. http://w

Old Man Balls - Lmao
dear loved ones we are gatherd here today to give respect to a old mans balls. in the younger days they were good balls and served well. now in the golden days they have been worn out and laid to rest please say farwell old man balls

Old Mail System Coming Back, Your Existing Mail Will Be Deleted!!!
hey everyone, i'm working on migrating back to the old private message system. the current email/message system seems to be way to much overkill for the site, and it makes communication more cumbersome than it needs to be. if you have a custom url/email address setup, it will still work. for example, i'll still be able to receive email from my friends outside fubar at babyjesus@fubar.com. you'll also still be able to respond to these emails, and send them to people not on the site. the downside of this migration is that old messages in the current system will be lost. as i type this, all messages are currently being written to both systems, so when we actually cut over your inbox won't be empty-- but it will only contain messages from the last 24-48 hours. if you have anything in your inbox now, that's really important i recommend that you forward it off to another email address otherwise it may be lost. i know some of the newer members don't know what the 'old private me

Old Mail System Up And Running Today
this is to let everyone know who has not noticed the mail change over is today 11-17-07 a lot want like it who is new but it will help the system overload a lot.it will stop sending pictures etc by mail.as far as me i like it better what do you think.

The Old Man
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of peo! ple. Yo u should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??" "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken

The Old Man And The Passenger Trains. Please Repost If You Feel The Love.
Monday, December 27, 2004 The Legendary Greeting Ghosts of the (Bonilla, SD) Railroad. For years, the Chicago Milwaukee & St. Paul Railroad passenger trains were greeted by an old man and his faithful dog at the Bonilla, South Dakota station. Both man and dog took pride in greeting the CM & SP RR passengers as they disembarked from the trains in all kinds of weather and at all hours of the day and night, often staying up into the wee hours of the morning to greet a late arriving train. With his dog at his side, the old man would go to the Post Office in the old James Hotel in search of information on late passenger arrivals, knowing that the Postmaster was waiting for the mail to arrive with the passenger train that was overdue. With no family of his own to speak of, the old man was lonely and longed for the companionship of others. In reality, his dog was the only family he had and the two of them were inseparable. Even in death. To lessen his loneliness, the old man would,

Old Marine
Old Marine Shortly after President Bush took office, an old veteran approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave. where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The marine looked at the vet and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old vet said, "Okay, " and walked away. The following day, the same vet approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The marine again told the vet, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The vet thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the same vet approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine saying, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at t

The Old Man And The Dog By Catherine Moore
"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?" Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The she

The Old Man And The Dog
The Old Man and the Dog "Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?" Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had

Old Man's Story...another By Late Nite Fantasy
Old Man's Story A young boy I, I stood beside the man who was my sire. He spoke to warn of many things, still I burned my hand on fire. A sharp clawed cat, a barbed wire fence, oh YES! I learned, Of this and that. "My tree of Life" he pointed far, I looked yet did not see, The truth of the words he spoke, or what he was telling me. "My Father." he said, touching my head, "Told me about this place," The tree of life is where one puts the Gold of your life's embrace. So young, I did not understand, and the day I said goodbye, The very last words my sire spoke were, "Son, you really have to try!" A grown man now, yes late in life, I stood upon that place, Where my Father spoke to me the words my mind failed to embrace. "The tree of life" is what he said, I looked across the woods, I realized just one didn't fit, from the point of where I stood. I went to the base of that now large tree, I realized what I had found, My Grandfather had buried all his wealth within

An Old Man
My 82-year-old Dad sent me this today. . . When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa , Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. Crabby Old Man What do you see nurses? ...What do you see? What are you thinking......when you're looking at me? A crabby old man,.....not very wise, Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes? Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice .....'I do wish you'd try!' Who seems no

Old Men On Fubar And In My Shoutbox
Tongue2swe...: i still like ur pic ->Tongue2swe...: toodles! Tongue2swe...: ok thanks 4 talking ->Tongue2swe...: first off i'm TAKEN second i've already explained to you that i'm not interested in what your proposing and thrid NO i won't come visit you for the above reasons Tongue2swe...: I am just a nice guy ->Tongue2swe...: unfortunately i don't have a daddy complex Tongue2swe...: so will u come visit nj or nyc? Tongue2swe...: a lot of girls your age don't mind a guys age ->Tongue2swe...: uh huh Tongue2swe...: lol yes as a joke ->Tongue2swe...: did she call you daddy? Tongue2swe...: I was with a 21 year old several times...and she still calls me ->Tongue2swe...: thats like having sex with your childrens friends ->Tongue2swe...: and i'm being honest with you that its disgusting Tongue2swe...: u r a very sexy women Tongue2swe...: so I am just being honest with u ->Tongue2swe...: i hope you realize that your older then my parents Tongue2swe...: u look good in hat possit

A Old Man And His Hard-on
An old guy gets a hard-on for the first time in years. He runs into the living room and says to his wife, "I forget what I'm supposed to do with this." She says, "Why don't you wash it while you've got the wrinkles out?"

The Old Man’s Tears
THE OLD MAN’S TEARS Once upon a time I had watched a play somewhere There was a curled old man in that play Wearing ragged clothes Having meaningless glance in his eyes Being too old, having no energy left, and being deserted, Left alone, having lived nothing His tears had neither stopped nor finished He had so much trouble that hadn’t ever finished Breathing was his profit, living was his only ambition Having played the greatest tragedy in the world On the life stage without curtains He had passed on, do you have a clue?

Old Men
A young man presents himself before me full of confidence in his appearance, muscles sleek and toned, his language full of the knowledge of the current trends. He asks, "Do you want to buy something for me?" An old man presents himself before me and tells me some stories of his life, he interests me with his opinions and his wit. He doesn't ask me to buy him anything, but I truly want to give him a gift. Written by Amma. Wise words.

The Old Man On The Porch
Every month when I pay my utility bills (I pay them in person because they actually charge to pay online, what strangeness) I take the same route. Electricity, Water, Cable. Between the power company and city hall is this older house, it looks a little rundown, but there is always an old man sitting on the porch. He looks to be in his eighties, maybe even nineties, and he's just always sitting there rocking in his chair, watching the world go by. I've been doing this for about a year now, so I've seen him every month for a year. The first couple of times I don't think I even really noticed, but as time went on I kinda started looking for him just to see if he would be there. I thought that would be kinda neat, just to be able to sit and watch people go by and see the world move around you. I have a fear though, what if he is lonely? I wondered today when I passed by him if he has family, and do they come see him? Are his friends still alive? I'm not sure, but these questions just k

Old Myspace Poems - The Great Climb
The Great Climb It's absolutely amazing, the changes that were made by ourselves, without any thought. We knew to do things we've never done before, went to places we weren't allowed to, and triumphed in our youthful rebelliousness. It was a time to discover what we were, a time to "love", climb and then fall. Our own little twisted warp in time, our very own Laguna Beach... Where are we now? No one is the same, all driven apart by the forces of life, and just the paths we wind down. It is a truly a beautiful, painful, and most complex situation, this thing we call life. We may be growing older, and wiser, nonetheless life still takes us places we've never been before, leading us down winding roads, allowing ourselves to be enveloped by the sun and swallowed by the moon. We will keep climbing until our legs give out and no longer allow us to carry on, it is the only way... We still carry on to the pinnacle, and still we fall, and fall again. We will triumph, and we

Old Myspace Poems- Dive In
Dive In Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in myself, is that normal? Sometimes I feel like I should reach out by screaming, but that would be informal. Instead I breathe and look the other way, trying to gracefully get through my day. However, sometimes, people like to be vexing and mean in almost every scene. Still I breathe away my tensions, following my best intentions. Just breathe it will pass in time... But in my mind I'm snapping their neck, pealing back their eyelids and bashing their head. Inside my mind I can kill them all at once, so fuck it, let's make this fun. I'd like to see what they look like from within, so I'll gut them like a fucking fish and spread them open with pins. Oh how easy it is to puncture the flesh in key places where I know they'll bleed best. Knock them out and tie them to a tree and watch and eat pop corn while they bleed out slowly. You see these are the things that run through my mind, I'm finding myself this way all the time. And lately

Old Man Toughness.......haha
so im sellin tickets the other nite in NH. and some old guy comes out n tells me to give him my tickets.....haha....of course i said no....then old man proceeds to get in my face about it being illegel 2 scalp. and of course...i do my homework...and its completely legel to sell tickets in NH...and 4 any price.....so old guy sais "i'll break u in 2".....so i laugh and all i could think about were like....wwf threats from randy savage from like 1989.....n e way...needless to say....he went back inside and i continued selling tickets.....so all it really did was make him look like a butthole.... n e way...i look forward to meeting him in the near future....just so i can piss him off...haha fukr... oh....n if n e 1 needs tickets to the verizon wireless arena in NH. .......just ask. :P rp

The Old Man Joke
An 85-year old man was requested by hisdoctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.The doctor gave the man a jar andsaid, "Take this jar home, and bring back a semensample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year old manreappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened, and theman explained, "Well, doc, it's like this – firstI tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried withmy left hand, but still nothing.. Then I asked my wife for help. Shetried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing.She tried with her mouth, first with teeth in, then with herteeth out, still no thing. "We even called up Arleen, thelady next door, and she tried, too, first with both hands,then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it betweenher knees, but still nothing.." The doctor was shocked! "You askedyour neighbor?" the old man replied, "Yep noneof us could get the jar open."

The Old Man And The Dog
The Old Man and the Dog "Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?" Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderlyman in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in mythroat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dadin front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble ofdistant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do abouthim? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyedbeing outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against theforces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, andhad placed often. The shelves in his hous

Old Men Find Me Sexy....
Okay since fu’s amazing new change [actually quite idiotic but what ever] where when you scroll over people it no longer says their GENDER and AGE, instead it tells some inconsequential bit of information such as how many friends the person has… If any one scrolls over some one looking for friends, I doubt actually knowing the number of friends they have will stop them from going to their page… Well before when I got men in my shout calling me “sexy” I could just say im not gay…. And they would usually counter with oh im sorry I thought you were a woman, then I could usually say it says right there in my scroll box MALE and my age, now it just says how many friends I have… Damn yesterday alone 5 guys shouted me calling me… sexy.. one even asked my tit size.. hm I do not know my man boobs size hm damn it When speaking to my therapist about this, she said constant perving by older men is stressing me out and is upping my meds, so i

An Old Man A Boy And A Donkey
An old man , a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding. The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well... Kiss your ass goodbye!

The Old Marine
A> > old retired Marine walked into a supermarket with his> zipper> > down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, 'Your> > barracks door is open.'Not a phrase that men normally> > use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he> was> > about done shopping, a man came up and said, 'Your> fly> > is open.' He zipped up and finished his> > shopping. > > > > > > > > At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line> where the> > lady was that told him about his 'barracks> > door.' He was planning to have a little fun with> > her, so when he reached the counter he said, 'When> you> > saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine> standing in> > there at attention? > > > > The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for> a> > moment and said, 'No, no I didn't. All I saw was a> > disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel> > bags.

Old Marine
A> > old retired Marine walked into a supermarket with his> zipper> > down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, 'Your> > barracks door is open.'Not a phrase that men normally> > use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he> was> > about done shopping, a man came up and said, 'Your> fly> > is open.' He zipped up and finished his> > shopping. > > > > > > > > At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line> where the> > lady was that told him about his 'barracks> > door.' He was planning to have a little fun with> > her, so when he reached the counter he said, 'When> you> > saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine> standing in> > there at attention? > > > > The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for> a> > moment and said, 'No, no I didn't. All I saw was a> > disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel> > bags.

Old Man River
Ol' man river, Dat ol' man river He mus'know sumpin' But don't say nuthin', He jes'keeps rollin' He keeps on rollin' along. He don' plant taters, He don't plant cotton, An' dem dat plants'em is soon forgotten, But ol'man river, He jes keeps rollin'along. You an'me, we sweat an' strain, Body all achin' an' racket wid pain, Tote dat barge! Lif' dat bale! Git a little drunk An' you land in jail. Ah gits weary An' sick of tryin' .... Ah do gits so weary. But Ah will keep rollin along, jus lak ol man river. Now it jus so happens dat mah dearly loved auntie died today. Dat ol man river, done gently took her up and guided her down to the paradise oasis dat mah granson Harper an mah grandmas an grandpas an two of my uncles and too many ah dah other longer reachin folks a mah line stretch out into. But ah knows dat dey will be waitin fo my auntie, an my granson will show her how to look down inta dat speshul chanted forest what I made fo his brave sistah. Oh, dat ol man rive

Old Myspace Blog.........
CANDY COATED PILLS..& BROKEN DREAMS Current mood: drained Category: Life Whew........right now thats about all i can do is whewwwwwwwwwwww......(gasping for breath)....... Every single little thing is falling apart...right before me---i am in a sense drowning and feel totally helpless to stop any of it....... My small little son ---- locked behind the metal doors of an institution.....scared.....alone..... "MEDICATION STABILIZATION" is what they call it......an 8 year old boy on lockdown for 60-90 days...show me the humanity...show me the progress that keeps being stated is being made.... he slips thru the cracks of the medical floor for years--- its said he has the makings of "serial killer behavior" and should be locked away for the rest of his life..... who can say this about a child? A boy who is filled with love i know it i see it everytime i look into his eyes--and he wraps his arms around me i can feel it....but he is ripped from me fo

Old Magic
Oh the beauty of the night,Magic in its oldest form.Come take me away sweet fanciful dreams.Wrap your dark quivering arms around me,I am yours forever more,mind body and soul.May they ignite in the flame.I would ask what you wish of me, but that is not your way.You do not ask.You take.Claim what you will.I wait....for what seems an eternity,Knowing each heartbeat is already yours.Each breath borrowed.When will you savor your prize?My body hums with anticipation like a crystal goblet when tenderly stroked.Stroke me once more, make me sound as the one you adore.The one whose purest features were designed for your tune.Take me. Make me fulfill my purpose.Fill me. As your chalice I await the nectar of the gods.The magic of the night embraces me once more.You wrap your dark arms around me and I quiver.Oh the beauty of the Night...By: Aubrey N.

Old Myspace Post.........
Love is kindLove is patient Love is strongLove is.Love is ToughLove is softLove is TenderLove is.Love strict Love is leneiantLove is obedientLove is.Love is cool Love is refreshingLove is clear Love is.Love is actionsLove is wordsLove is silentLove is.Love is hereLove is ThereLove is everywhereLove is.Love is yesterday Love is today Love is tomorrowLove is.Love is foreverLove is togetherLove is apartLove is.Love is gained Love is lost Love is foundLove is.No matter what it is Love is here, today, foreverLove is found, everywhere, togetherLove is Love in my eyes.

Old Man Vs New Man
so. the new foo....it's ok, but is it really nirvana, aged, or the next step? i wonder what nirvana woulda sounded like. this or,....something different? if kurt lived would he be as cool as nirvana, or the foo fighters, or courtney. i miss my webpage. i really miss my webpage. lukasgrew. but, i pissed off the powers that be i miss that blog i made last spring, about takin' a walk, but it's gone. isn't the internet wonderful? you can delete memory, just because you can. oh well. i hope you all can safeguard your memories. i wasn't smart enough to. and those thought's are gone. but i went for a walk in the woods, and NO ONE can take that away from me. someone thinks they can i hope they don't go for a walk. because they may not come back from that walk. the bigger wolfs may eat them.

Old Man/old Woman
Old Man or Old Woman These are archetypal figures of wisdom or spiritual power in dreams. For many people, the role of the father or mother has been lost in society through either divorce, workaholism, or some other emotional dysfunction. The psyche is prone to look for versions of this loss wherever it can create them, even out of the self. Often times, these characters personify and validate an internal source of wisdom that has been written off by the psyche. It may be that you are confronted with a problem that escapes solution because of the most conscious worldview you ascribe to. However, another means of problem-solving that you view as old-fashioned may be effective. The wisdom figure in your dream is trying to teach you this truth. Do you fear or disdain either your lineage or the prospects of your own aging? Are you ambivalent about the purported wisdom of your elders concerning life choices you are now facing? Are you looking for or missing some wisdom that would ai

Old Man...
yes, i dropped off the face of the earth again. but as always, i have returned from the void. and with news this time! i am officially old. i started having pain in my neck, shoulder, and arm about 1.5 months ago. this has happened before, but i decided that i should have it checked out this time. after hurting for two weeks, i went to a chiropractor. he said the problem was my sacroiliac joint. he treated me accordingly and gave me a list of things to do to help it heal. it didn't get better. after another week of pain, i went to my doctor. he referred me to a physiatrist. he did much the same things as the chiropractor, but also took x-rays of my neck. he said that it looked like arthritis. so he prescribed pain meds, scheduled an mri, and sent me to a physical therapist. i went back yesterday to look at the mri with dr. spine. it turns out that i have three disks in my neck that are thinning, and one of them is herniated. this is being caused by the arthritis. four

A Old Mantra Made New
Greetings Neighbors: 2009 is over and I must ask, 'Can I get an amen?'. Yes, if that last statement was any indication, last year sucked 'nougie' flakes for me personally and it showed. I found myself running here and there trying to put distance between myself and the present situation I was in. You see, neighbors, we became another number of the many people who were granted the chance to own a home, but in truth, could not afford it. Therefore, we started 2009 in a rental and to keep things brief, we were never truly happy there. The other low lights of last year are as follows: Not able to spend anytime with my daughter, Tru. Trying to start a business with any knowledge of how to make a profit Taking care of my grown children with no extra income coming in. Moving back into the house left for dead only to leave it behind again Having a disagreement with my family one time too often You get the general idea. 2009 was really not much different from any other year. We all face

Old Man
Neil Young.................... Pointless shit Why is it that self inventory is so hard.? I am going to try to stop being such a self richous bitch..........but the people around me are not willing .................. fuk u fu me sorry

Old Men
i love how guys in their 40's hit on women my age, its kinda shameful that i can find real classy women in their late 20's, 30's, and early 40's and they cant. what makes it worse is the young women fall for the stupid bullshit the old nasty wrinkly balled old men dish out. Im not gunna act like im missing out on anything because im not, i prefer a lady with a little class as opposed to some skank that will spread her legs for anyone that will talk nice to them. i guess im just different, i dont need sex to be happy with a woman. im part of a dying breed of gentleman.

Old Mc Donald Grew Some Pot.... Doobie.. Doobie
When some one walks up to me and says "hi!" i say "like hell i am!" .... is that a bad thing? So osama got shot in the face... now what are we gonna do about the terrorist running our country? a wise man once said..."IIIiilll drinky beerrrr if n when how much i pleases!"......... no wait.... i said that.... sorry i fucked that one up when i hear some one say yieghermighster {i just know i spelled that wrong} i think of a cough drop, strapped to a small chunk of c4... I feel like thats a fairly accurate analligy When i bite into a york pepperment patty, i get the sensation.... that this is just a cold pepperment... man what do i have to do oo oo for a fuckin klondike bar! i think the spokes person for Slim Jims should be a woman... cause guys buy it the most and the spokes person says, and i quote, "Eat me!" not quite as appealing from a guy... i wish i could fly... so that i could go to the top of a really tall bui

Old Man And The Beaver
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said , 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'I now have a 20 year-old bridewho is pregnant with my child. "So what do you think about that Doc ?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season."One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun." "As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge..He realized he'd left his gun at home and sohe couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'." "Miraculously , two shots rang out and thebeaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The Old Man And The Marine
Greetings to you and blessings of our FATHER in Heaven! I recently had another opportunity to re-read this story which someone shared with me many years back. I now share it with you, perhaps re-share it as the case may be. I live in the hope it blesses you in ways that only our LORD will know about and be glorified in. "A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and stren

An Old Man
An old man once said,"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."õ¿õ

The Old Me Vs. The New Me
Use to be, I liked very much to go to a drinking party. At this party I would listen to music and drink, mess around and drink, talk with many men and drink. That is sort of a faded memory now. I miss the friends I thought that I had. Maybe that was just a warm up, trial and error time to my life. I would just like to be a pebble in the party scene again. Use to be, one guy would leave me and another would just appear. Kinda like he was just waiting. Thems were the good ole days. i may not venture too far from home now. I am not that gung-ho about getting into society anymore because it is my belief not too many people will even give me a second to explain why I limp or why I have a short memory sometimes. How it is now, I have heard and understand it a little bit, I am now sure I can see it as somewhat of a blessing. It is why not many of the human species can reach me. I am a princess in a tower......... not guarded by an evil queen or a fire breathing dragon. But by a difference t

An Old Man On The Floor...
there he is lying on a hardwood floorwith only dreams of yesterdayno way of telling what his mind has storedor how he found his wayto the place he's in from where he's beenhe has no friendsjust knowledge of an endonly that and nothing morefor the old man on the floorhis days are spent in readingon a bench in the outside airi'm sure that in his thoughts he's seekingfor one individual that careswhen he gazes toward the landscapewhat does his mind's eye see?is it a reflection of an old man drapedin the sullen cloaks of miserysomewhere from his yesterdayhe's reached this point todayhe has no friendshe breathes out his endonly that and nothing morefor that old man on the floor

The Old Me
going back to the way i once was were i dont let anyone knw how i feel were i hide everything inside alot less pain that way build it all up inside not letting them out iam just me and i decided letting my feelings known is just away to get hurt . Iam sorry if u dnt like me now but this is how i use to be better off this way

An Old Man
An Old Man - "I've got an 18 yr old bride who's pregnant with my child."The Doctor - I know a guy who's a hunter. 1day by mistake he took his umbrella instead of his gun.so in the jungle he saw a tiger n shooted the tiger with his umbrella....and the tiger droped dead in front of him.Old man - "That's impossible!", "Someone else must have shot that Tigerr."The Doctor says, "My point exactly."

Old Mr. Johnson....
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer," said Dorothy. "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 p.m. dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what's there: a limousine, uniformed chauffeur, and all," said Edna. "Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks," she continued. "Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times !!!" "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go ??" Dorothy asked. "No, no, no... course not," E

Old Norse
Old Norse is the Germanic language spoken by the inhabitants of Scandinavia and their overseas settlements during the Viking Age, until about 1300. It evolved from the older Proto-Norse, in the 8th century. Because most of the surviving texts are from Medieval Icelandic, the de facto standard version of the language is the Old West Norse dialect, that is Old Icelandic and Old Norwegian. Sometimes, Old Norse is defined as Old Icelandic and Old Norwegian. However, there was also a very similar Old East Norse dialect that was spoken in Denmark and Sweden and their settlements. There was no clear geographical separation between the two dialects. Old East Norse traits were found in eastern Norway and Old West Norse traits were found in western Sweden. In addition, there was also an Old Gutnish dialect, sometimes included in Old East Norse because it was the least known dialect. Until the 13th century the three dialects were considered by their speakers to be one and the same language, an

Old N New
1. What is the leading cause of death with lesbians? - Hair balls. 2. How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? - You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive 3. What can Life Savers do that men cannot? - Come in five flavors. 4. What is good on pizza but bad on pussy? - Crust ! 5. Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? - Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork 6. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? - If your girlfriend chews before swallowing OMG! OMG! OMG ! 7. What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy together? - A red headed bitch with a yeast infection 8. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh? - By sticking your finger in his honey 9. What is the ultimate rejection? - When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep 10. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? - I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election. 1

An Old New Friendship(pamela A.k.a Seawench38)
Though you are a friend, Sometimes we pass in the night. Usually not saying a word, But never losing sight. Are we forever destined, To be like ships in a mist. I wanna know things about you, Far to many to list. To you I extend my hand, On this beautiful morn. To turn my ship around, To you,this I have sworn. To an old new friendship blossoming, One that will surely soar. The days of us passing in the mist, On my word those days are nomore.

Old?? Not Me...
The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know. Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I di

Old/new Page
I know im confusing people but heres the gist of it. back around the end of sept I had lost my commenting and bulletin privileges on my main asccount. I was unable to communicate like i would like with friends or anyone for that matter. I made tis profile and made it pretty much identical to the original except of course for having to start all over with rates fans and notifying friends. I have since got full privileges back and have been busy moving pics back to the original page and trying to continue to accept friends requests on BOTH pages and sending the new ones to the original. I have yet to notify all club far members or all the sisters so if you havent already please rate, fan, and add this page..... ~¢¾Temptress¢¾~CLUB FAR~*THE SISTERHOOD*@ fubar i have gotten the twisted express and the devils train notified and links fixed but not sure if cappys flight has gotten it straightened out yet. PHEW! exhausting but once i know all moves have been finalized , and my blast

Old News, But Still Good News... Disturbed: New Song To Be Made Available For Download This Friday
Disturbed: New Song To Be Made Available For Download This Friday According to Blabbermouth.net, a new Disturbed song, entitled "Perfect Insanity", will be made available for download this Friday, March 7 by going to Disturbed1.com and filling out your info. The track is expected to appear on the band's fourth studio album, "Indestructible", due in late May via Reprise/Warner Bros. The group is reportedly working on a number of promotional ideas to support the record. Singer David Draiman, a strong proponent of making music a purely digital product, told The Pulse of Radio that the band will nevertheless add a lot of extra features to the CD. "I definitely am all for any record companies being as aggressive as they can about moving towards just completely digital-based media," he said. "But we will continue to try and do things, and we're still going to do things this record cycle as well, to try and make it where there's a reason to buy it that's beyond what we're doing just musicall

An Old Newness
A respected author and educator, Sowell is a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard with a Masters in Economics from Columbia and a Doctorate in Economics from the University of Chicago........................................... here is his personal perspective. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An Old Newness By Thomas Sowell Tuesday, April 29, 2008 Many years ago, a great hitter named Paul Waner was nearing the end of his long career. He entered a ballgame with 2,999 hits -- one hit away from the landmark total of 3,000, which so many hitters want to reach, but which relatively few actually do reach. Waner hit a ball that the fielder did not handle cleanly but the official scorer called it a hit, making it Waner's 3,000th. Paul Waner then sent word to the official scorer that he did not want that questionable hit to be the one that put him over the top. The official scorer reversed himself and called it an error. Lat

Old/new Gurad
Old Guard, New Guard By Gayle Rubin I have problems with the way in which the distinction between "Old Guard" and "New Guard" is sometimes deployed. While there are many differences between leather/SM as it was practiced in the 1950s and as it is practiced today, the shorthand terms can exaggerate and oversimplify our past and our present. Most of the alleged differences popularly thought to differentiate "Old Guard" and "New Guard" -- formality versus informality, strict etiquette versus a more casual style of social interaction, deliberate training versus less organized acquisition of skills and knowledge -- are more a matter of degree than absolute distinctions. In fact, if one looks at "Old Guard" leather and SM communities from the late 1940s through the early 1960s, one can see that both tendencies were already present. Louis Weingarden, who opened one of the first leather art galleries at his Stompers boot store in New York City 20 years ago, identified two stylist

Old & New
I have figured out when it is absolutely necessary to buy new underwear. And this has nothing to do with seeing some cute panties when you're out shopping & buying them. This is when it's needful. When you are walking your son out to the bus and your underwear is falling down to your knees, but your pajama bottoms are staying where they should be. I would say that's a good indicator that you need some new drawers (as they would say down here.) That is all.

Old New Guy
Ok, so I've been a member of fubar since way back in the day when it was called CherryTap, but haven't ever really been active. I'm trying to remedy that, but feel like I'm a step behind what everyone else is doing to level up and all this. Anyone wanna give me some advice or assistance?

Old New
The Eagles last, they mention Old Order and New Order. The Old Order will let go to The New Order. I laid in bed in silence this afternoon all closed up and thought what am I fighting? I do not wish to be here for the future. A passage from The Bible but more conventional. He or she who lays their hands on the plow and then looks back is unfit for The Kingdom. I was informed by The Order that in the future I will be required to define myself. This week I will define myself in three ways. The Order and TMO will be happy in how subtle I did it. Norio

Old One...
Tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for all year--6/6/06. People are real ridiculous about it. I can't wait. It is my day off tomorrow so I can watch the news and see how many people committed mass suicide because it is supposedly the end of the world. Sucks for them...I will see all the alive, non-idiots on Wednesday. I do not know what it is but I do not fear Death, Satan or any other of the crazy shit. It is just a normal day. That is the normal side of me....now the unstable side of me is having thoughts of the movie Constantine, spiritual activity (like GhostBusters) and some devastation to show man that we are not in charge of our lives, like we think we are, and to not take it for granted. Live life the best you can giving your own situations and be happy you are still alive. Hug your friends and family alittle longer because we are all part of the same essence...LIFE. Enjoy

Old One
Thinking , Feeling , Rethinking Thinking of you my sweet day dream wondering if I'm going to extreme Why are you in my thoughts so much ? Why do I hunger for your touch ? I think too much and act too slow I want to be there more than you'll ever know I've been told to take it slow for there is always tomorrow I've taken it slow and in my hesitation felt the sorrow Not willing to pass on what may be real Not wanting to let go of how I feel Unsure of my thoughts and what they mean Unsure of an out come that remains to be seen Fear that you are too good to be true Fear that I may not be any good for you Tied to a past unresolved Tied to the present still uninvolved Wondering if I deserve the best Thinking it's time to give thinking a rest ! By R. Thomas Dinsmore

Old One But It's A Start
June 08, 2006 Ramblings of a Personal Journal I'm just a few weeks away from my 39th birthday(whipty shit). I figured by now I would have a different life then what I do have. I'm not complaining although I have reason to. No sence in doing that it just burdens others and I think myself to be a nice person. I'm sitting on the waterfront in Wheeling, right by where my brother Russ took his last breath. I have no cemetary to go to. His ashes were spread on a hill where used to camp, his wife was so nice not to show us where. So I come here to talk to him alot when I'm troubled. My religious beliefs are conflicting even for me. Explanation- I believe that everyone begins in Heaven as souls or spirits. We have 2 halves, 1 being ourselves and the other our mate. We are all born into bodies and live the life of that body then that body dies and we go to another new born body. We do this until our soul has reached it's goals and has found our mate. When we acheived these goals we ca

Old One But Still Funny
A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there. As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress. " He did this carefully. "Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties. " As he did this, the tension continued to mount. She then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

Old Old Old Poem.. Untittled.
As you breath can you feel your heart beat, When you close your eyes do you see what you want, Can you feel the hurting inside you the pain that creeps apon your soul and body with every beat, Do you truely want me or are you just puting on a front, As I close my eyes all I can see is you, With every beat of my heart I yern for you, I tell my self I can't fall in love but yet I do, Can't find a reason not to love can't stop loving you, All I want is your body next to mine, Needing to feel your breath apon my breast, Feeling your fingers entertwining with mine, Flesh to flesh sweat mixing with sweat, Your fluid's mixing with my own, Your tounge running across my nakied body only tasting the sweet taste of my sweat, Me alowing you to call me your own, Knowing all to well that there is no love now only pure lust, Why lie to our selves the only desire's right now is the pure and natureal lust that we have for each others, As we lay here our bare body's exposed t

Old Ones
Q: How do you get a baby in to a milk jug? A: Use a Blender Q: How do you get it out?? A: Use a straw. Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? A: Nothing you allready told her twice. Q: How do you turn a dish washer in to a snow plow? A: Give her a shovel. Q: Why do women wear white at there wedding? A: So the dish washer matches the fridge, and the stove

An Old One But I Love It
passion tied in knots in fits and starts it comes just enough to keep me hooked and just enough to harm she walked me straight through heaven played my fears to keep me near never thinking of tomorrow but was love really here? Me..

The Old Oak
The Old Oak in the middle of the field. A proud and gentle old oak, standing straight up with his leaves reaching for the sky, screaming for tenderness and love, but no one there to fulfill his thoughts. He exposed himself to the deep blue sky with his feelings hidden deep inside, his roots deep in the ground searching for food, food for his heart. September came, with it the fall color of the leaves changed into red and brown. It looks like a big fiesta; these beautifull colors of all dying goods. The sky turned to grey and dark clouds where circling around waiting for the lightning to strike. A beautiful girl came by, walking gently across the field, thinking of all daily things. There was the light, flame, thunder! It hit the old oak and he cried from pain. He tried to scream for help, but something held his tongue, he could not speak. His once so strong leaves now hanging down, reaching for her. The heart of the oak, still burning from

Old One
When I'm not with you it feels As if my heart is breaking I feel as if my world is falling apart When you make me sleep without you When you hold me close to you My world finally becomes complete Our love is a love I've never known before But it is our special love So hold me tight and never let me go I will find a way to make it show That you are the only guy who makes me smile My past is just that - the past You are my love my life my future You are my everything and my eternity I love you completly and endlessly With everything that I am And all that I possess inside I love you

An Old One, But My All Time Favorite Poem
Mother's Love Our best friend in our youth Our Caregiver...when we are sick. Care without limits, Mother is love. A friend with no bounds Our childhood protector. Always aware of our trouble Before we utter a word. She knows our fears with but a glance For they are her own. How beautiful that name... Mother. Comfort in tangible form We belong to her Just as she is always a part of us Half of that which we call a heart. Her love unconditional Her strength unwavering Her kiss tucks us in at night, As her touch eases our fears. Her strength flows within our veins.. The strength of our mother's love.

Ol' Dougy Stole Christmas ...... Almost
ow Ol' Dougy Stole Christmas....Almost.T'was the week before Christmas, and all across the nation.Arrow truckers were stranded, they couldn't get home for vacation.They wondered and waited for help to arrive.The Company Chief said its up to themselves to survive.The company lawyer said it was up to them to be handled.After all, Ol' Dougy stole our money and gambled.While in Bentleys and Maseratis Ol' Dougy did drive.Arrows truckers were left stranded, some barely alive.While in private jets, around the country the Pielstickers they flew.All of Arrow's employees were about to be screwed.Three days before Christmas they were out of a job.All the while Ol' Dougy hid from the angry mob.Ol' Dougy he laughed with glee and with cheer.He thought he had made off with Christmas this year.But then something happened that he would never believe.The spirit of America gave the drivers a Christmas reprieve.From around this great nation came calls and came texts.People from all over asked "How can we

Old One Called Breathing In The Dark
Constantly closing off the world, and all these gentle souls.I've lost myself within my own mind, surrounded by thoughts I wanted to leave behind. I try not to lose trust in myself, but these pure emotions become tainted, stained with crimson, attempting to coverthe wrongs of a demon lover. My heart becomes a helpless prey, blackening with each heartache inflicted, so dark it becomes a shadow, haunting me with whispers of sorrow.Opening my eyes, leaving all the darkness, but it makes no difference, it's taken over my mind and heart,

Old People
- So, old people... Uh I don't have anything against you looking at my page. Read my blogs, look at my pictures enjoy or whatever. However, It makes me feel really wierd when you comment on pictures in the middle folder. Feel free to leave anytype of comment you want on my drawings, or the pictures in my default file, or on any of my blogs. But if you really like me, and enjoy my page, Please don't make me feel uncomfortable by leaving comments on the pics in the " I'm losing my mind anyway" file. There's plenty of other things to entertain you and to comment on without commenting on my ass. What is old? Well, For sure, if you are 10years older than I am, you are old in my book. I REALLY DO HATE to be sexist, but this applys especially for old males. If you are male, and you are over 26, It makes me feel especially uncomfortable. If you enjoy my page, please do me a favor and grant me that courtasy.- All other people, please comment on whatever you want to. Yah, I recently had

Old People - Very Touching.......
Old People - Very Touching ...... This will warm your heart. Just when you have lost faith in human kindness. Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor, Florida, forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing t o say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today. Dear Safety Harbor Middle School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen t

Old Poem Of Mine I Really Liked...
School of Hard Rock The adrenaline starts flowing. Music’s going, bass pounding in your ear. And with every increasing thump its like a war dance getting you even more prepared. You see your opponent and think what a chump. It’s time to go and your flowin’ like the rhythm with steps from side to side. And the only thumps your opponent's feeling is the flurry of fisticuffs that are all connecting as body blows. Keep the jams pumping and keep your feet moving you’re almost through and think to yourself “this isn’t what he does to me, it’s what I do to you.” This is your song, step in beat, rock your head and raise hell.

Old Poems
I Amble Through A Meadow I amble through a meadow, Venturing to nowhere in particular Life itself pauses for a moment As if to bask in its warmth ever so briefly Treading lightly, don’t want to disturb The grass upon which these footsteps occur For each step seems to bring new challenges, and new visions Of life, renewed by a summer’s breeze What a gentle caressing breath of air, Massaging all that feel its cool touch against their skin As if nature itself is exhaling its essence All this I observe as I continue on my journey Las Estrellas Bold and brilliant, constantly they shine Luminescence unseen Traveling the miles of heavens for years So gentle, so soft, they remind me of God’s tears What could create such beauty, That men would guide themselves by them Casting their lots upon the turbulent front Driven by the brilliant shimmer of speckled dots Alas, they have left mine’s eyes Such

Old People Observation
Another Old Blog Thursday, March 31, 2005 Old People Observation I was driving behind an old person today and I was thinking.. Ya know.. If I was old and knew I could die anytime, I would not want to waste any time sitting behind the wheel. I would want to get to my destination. People debate that that they want to be more cautious and take it easy and not take any chances. But if you ask me, that is taking away the one desire we all wish to achieve in our lifetimes. To not be another pencil pusher beind a desk, but to be something. To be able to look back and say, "Yes, I had a blast, and never looked back, and enjoyed every minute of it." That`s how I try to live. I try not to live in worries of what tomorrow will bring. My life is in God`s hands and I feel perfectly content with that and I feel that when it is your time, it`s exactly that. I don`t understand people that live in fear of what tomorrow may bring. So many people have told me they couldn`t just leave everythin

Old Poem
ALL THESE YEARS Walking on the beach tonight Your memory crosses my mind All the good times And all the bad ones Think about all the times We laughed and cried The times we cursed The times we prayed The times were crazy no doubt We were just living and dying Our dreams so big, so small Just living our lives Always knew what you would say All your fears, all your cares I caught all your tears Still miss u after all these years

Old People...
EXTREME OLD PEOPLE!!!! Current mood: amused ive seen a lot of things in my short time on this earth...however its rare that i see something that i find so amusing that i have to grab my camera-phone and snap a picture...yesterday i saw something that did that...and it has changed my life forever.... i was on my way to Best Buy to pick up a copy of Superman Returns to see if i would hate it as much as i thought i would (i didnt but its still no Batman) anyways, while at a red light i looked to my left and spotted and old couple in a decent truck. as we started to move i noticed something on a rack on the tailgate...it was a Segway scooter...you know, those "untippable" two wheeled things that losers ride around on...it was supposed to change the way we traveled...i have seen 2 in actual use, but now it seems those 2 were wasting the potential of this "so-gay-it-makes-you-want-beat-the-living-holy-shit-out-of-the-person-riding-it" mode of transportation....Look at the pic at

Old Poem
a poem I found that I had written almost three years ago about the guy I am currently seeing (I guess he finally realized the truth) I'm losing my mind One step at a time I'm going insane Does he even remember my name When he looks at my face Does he remember my sweet embrace When he looks into my eyes Does he see the tears I have cried Or does he think of the others Oh why do I even bother I want to show him how much I care And that I will always be there I just want him to see How I need him here with me Sometimes I doubt he will ever realize That I'm speaking the truth not lies

Old People
ok so its no secret that i cook for a bunch of elderly people.. but sometimes they really make me a little bit angry comin to my kitchen just before breakfast or lunch and asking for something different then what is on the menu that day i dont care but if they would just ask me a little earlier than five minutes to time to feed them... o well i guess thats the way it goes. i dont get to mad at them i guess but just one day of one of them not doing that would be great.. ok i feel better now i got that off my chest lol.

Old People Are Great!!!
This will warm your heart - just when you have lost faith in human > kindness. > > Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor , Florida , > forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's > office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly woman received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today. > > Dear Safety Harbor Middle School : > > God bless you for the beautiful radio that I won at your recent senior > citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor > Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away and I am all > alone now so it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless > you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. > > My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio. > > Before I received mine she would

Old People!
This is TOO good! 5 million of our older Americans have not signed up yet for their Medicare, Part D, drug plan------they are old and confused. We are NOT going to grant them an extension. However, 12 million illegal aliens are in our country and we are going to allow them to stay, protest, procreate, receive support monies, attend schools, avoid paying income taxes, have our teachers take 300 hours of ESL(English as a Second Language) training at our expense, etc. WE MUST REALLY DISLIKE OUR OLD PEOPLE...... OR WE MUST REALLY LOVE TACOS!!! If it ticks you off, pass it on!!

Old People
This is TOO good! 5 million of our older Americans have not signed up yet for their Medicare, Part D, drug plan------they are old and confused. We are NOT going to grant them an extension. However, 12 million illegal aliens are in our country and we are going to allow them to stay, protest, procreate, receive support monies, attend schools, avoid paying income taxes, have our teachers take 300 hours of ESL(English as a Second Language) training at our expense, etc. WE MUST REALLY DISLIKE OUR OLD PEOPLE...... OR WE MUST REALLY LOVE TACOS!!! If it ticks you off, pass it on!!

Old Poems
Circles of life Circles of life never ending travel far and always amending Seek deep within for truth of the soul knowing always the answer found in the hole dreams shattered and swept to the side travelling on and no place to hide serenity a dream to live though strife travelling on in these circles of life By R. Thomas Dinsmore Missing Love Thinking of you and then comes the pain my tears fall down like a cleansing rain the purity of your love has always been true of all from the past the one I miss most is you my heart it aches without giving a sign that the pain will end, sweet child of mine never have I loved any in that special way sometimes I wish I had let myself stay I knew that your life would be better if I went now in my mind you live free of rent I can't help but think of you all the day through missing the joy that has always been you This pain I will know for the rest of my days I have loved only you and I am stuck in this maze of

A Old Poem
Desire’s Fires Wild desire’s my mind does seek Temptations of my flesh so weak A soul in torment longing for the unknown Conflicted conscience of all it’s been shown Trust destroyed vows taken in vain Lost in the past the tears do rain Unwilling to tread the cutting path Knowing I face the scorned ones wrath Two who suffer pain they never earned I can’t change the course of one I spurned Hurt is due the one who my affection did alienate Lost is the driven soul so detestably full of hate Never to be at peace in this world or the next A curse placed upon a heart an immortal hex Never loving and never free to love true Cost of the past coming long over due A desire to bring nothing but hurt and pain Torture from one soul driven insane Knowing a love that it can never have in this life Knowing no one wants to call her wife Lies that murdered trust and killed all I held inside A path that was chosen that is long and wide The easier softer way of fleeting desi

Old Poem
She can’t see the lies, nor feel the tears. Her heart singed by pain, hidden for years. Torture brought on by her brother’s mistake. She silently screams, driven by hurt she can’t take. Hidden pills though out her room. The people and doctors say they’ll only bring doom. A secret blade under is hidden under her floor. She cuts to see blood, until she can’t bare to look anymore. Self injured and bruised, she lays on the floor. Though she still hasn’t noticed that he’s walked through the door. A look of shock crosses his face. A new found emotion he can’t seem to place. Her friend is confused, and her badly inside. She just wanted to hurt, never wanted to die. Hoping that she would not draw her last breath, He rushes her to the hospital to prevent her death. Awaking next morning, seeing her friend Ben. He looks at her pleading, “please don’t do that againg.”

Old Person Football
Hey its Monday... Whats Monday with out a little potty humor :P I hope you all enjoy! An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score" After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm head 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, >switch sides."

Old Poem By Me
!!!! Nothing Less !!!! Nobody thought to give me a hug Nobody thought to give me love No one cares how I die When I died alone no one cried For you see me as nobody For now I am out of my body In a dark place to hide All alone I do die When you see a bird in the sky You know I'm about to cry

The Old Phone Call
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time. My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it

An Old Poem I Wrote
You and I are connected in a way that goes beyond romance, beyond friendship, beyond what we've ever had before. It has defied time, distance, and changes in ourselves and in our lives. It has defied every explanation. Except one: Pure and simply, we're soul mates. I can't explain, I just feel it. It's there in the way my spirits lift whenever we talk. The sound of your voice brings me home, in a way I can't explain. It's in the delight I feel, when we laugh at exactly the same things. When I'm with you, it's like a tiny piece of the universe shifts into place. A place it's supposed to be, and all is right with the world. These things and so many more, have made me understand that this is a once in a lifetime, forever connection. A connection that could only exist between you and me. And deep in my soul, I know that our love is a rare gift. One that brings us extraordinary happiness all through our lives. I feel stronger as the days pass into

The Old Paths
THE OLD PATHS I liked the old paths, when Moms were at home. Dads were at work. Brothers went into the army. And sisters got married BEFORE having children! Crime did not pay; Hard work did; And people knew the difference. Moms could cook; Dads would work; Children would behave.. Husbands were loving; Wives were supportive; And children were polite. Women wore the jewelry; And Men wore the pants. Women looked like ladies; Men looked like gentlemen; And children looked decent. People loved the truth, And hated a lie; They came to church to get IN, Not to get OUT! Hymns sounded Godly; Sermons sounded helpful; Rejoicing sounded normal; And crying sounded sincere. Cursing was wicked; Drinking was evil; and divorce was unthinkable. The flag was honored; America was beautiful; And God was welcome! We read the Bible in public; Prayed in school; And preached from house to house To be called an American was worth dying for; To be called a

The Old Prospector
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey. He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to." A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing. When the gunslinger fired his last bullet he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pull

Old Poem
you opened my eyes like no other i took you in mind, body, and soul now that i see were meant to be i dont want to let yo go you have loved me like no other i want to spend the rest of my wakeing days with you we'll start a family we'll see through the hatred and we'll find a light i found what i wanted in you i want to be with you for eternity like i know we were meant to be

The Old Paths
I liked the old paths, when Moms were at home. Dads were at work. Brothers went into the army, and sisters got married. Crime did not pay, hard work did and people knew the difference. Moms could cook, Dads would work, children would behave. Husbands were loving, Wives were supportive and children were polite. Women wore the jewelry, and Men wore the pants. Women looked like ladies, Men looked like gentlemen and children looked decent. People loved the truth, and hated a lie; they came to church to get IN, not to get OUT! Hymns sounded Godly, sermons sounded helpful, rejoicing sounded normal, and crying sounded sincere. Cursing was wicked, drinking was evil, and divorce was unthinkable. The flag was honored, America was beautiful, and God was welcome! We read the Bible in public, prayed in school, and preached from house to house. To be called an American was worth dying for, to be call

Old People Are Not Good Conversationalists
Ok, I work at a country club. I sell golf and golf-related accessories to the wonderful patrons of my course. Today a thought struck me, improper conversation. I don't have a lot in common with old people, but I'll shoot the shit with anyone who wants to...I'm a friendly fellah. The problem, however, is the huge age gap and generational differences. For instance, I can't talk to most of them about how hot Jessica Alba is. They either would not know/care who I was speaking about, or they would have a heart attack just thinking about how awesome she would look naked. Likewise...I do NOT want to hear about their new swimsuit. I don't care about how wonderful it works for tanning...elephants should not have tans. I cannot share in modern musical trends with them, they would probably throw holy water on me for even saying the names of a few of my favorite bands. On the flip side, I can always talk about Miles Davis or Huey Lewis. However...I do not wanna talk about health issues. I know the

Old Poem
yeah yeah ,my poetry sucks too fucking bad. I found this one while going through an old journal. How can you look me in the eyes continue to talk even tho I know its all lies Im not so week , or easy to decieve please understand Im playing for keeps I stay here and wait , because Ive fallen for you The you thats inside , not the lies you betray why cant you just for once give me truth why cant you prove Im more then a fool to you? dont turn away , hear me just once dont think that youve fooled me , Im not that far gone I give you this power , allow you your throne But in the end when you reveil the lies all along dont cry to me , because you'll be all alone.

Old People
>>We OLD people have problems that you haven't even >>considered yet! >> >>An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a >>sperm count as part of >>his physical exam. >> >>The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this >>jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." >> >> >>The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the >>doctor's office and gave >>him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the >>previous day. The doctor asked what happened and >>the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - >>first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then >>I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. >>Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her >>right hand, then with her left, still nothing. >>She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, >>then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even >>called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried >>too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she >>even tried squeezin' it between her kn

Old Poem
WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. MAN'S POEM I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.

Old People Have Problems That You Haven't Even Considered Yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us

Old Poems ... Often Introspective ... Some Time Intutive ... Always Me
Freedoms Death Stagnation holds me in it’s grasp Icy hands around my throat are clasp Dragging me down into the mire Burning my hopes upon the pyre Destined to walk the world at hand To never find home within this land To see things with eyes that are too clear To know the loss of freedom through fear Minds that recoil from the challenge to live For security away their freedoms they give And thus the demon in power does grow Till all too late do the masses then know Trapped in constriction and lost in this style See them goose step and hear them scream hiel Glare at those who voice their opposition The land is now sick beyond need of physician Terror has won and a way of life killed Done in by deceit and those in politics skilled Who turn a phrase and twist the meaning of word Till none are sure of what it is they have heard The price is too great and the losses be grieved It is the fault of our own that we were deceived For ours is to question the actions of

Old Photos
I look at old photos and think thats not me, I'm not the happy girl that i used to be. Now its just a smile i pretend its all ok, there's so much inside that i want to say. I've been hurt so much, let done, i start cry, i wish it wasn't me and i start wonder why. Why am i so stupid why do i keep getting used? why am i not happy? i always get abused. So many things running through my head, i cant stop thinking while lie here in bed. I was so happy and always had a smile, if i ever got angry it would only last a while. I still seem the same people don't know that i lied, they don't know all the pain thats going on inside. The more i look at the photos i start to realize to remember the past not look with my eyes So I look at old photos and think thats always been me, the hurt that i feel nones ever been able to see.

Old People
Three Sisters Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knocking on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." WHAT A CHOICE A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." OLD FRIENDS Two elderly ladies

Old Poem I Wrote Before I Meet My Wife
Why do we live only to die why do we laugh only to cry. why are we empty always inside were is the peace that use to reside why is this hole open so wide where even in darkness my soul cannot hide. why in my heart do I feel only death when I live and I breath as closer I step, to an answer I knew but is gone with regrete, as closer I draw to the man iv not met.

2 Old People
Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"

Old Poem
pearched reflection these words fallen on my own deaf ears from my pearch high above the world i look down at a man crying over a lost game i see his heart right through his million dallor suit and his fancy new car a child hiding in a dark corner crying in my peach i look and see my self

An Old Pirate?????
I remember when I got my first comp..... it was an E-machine bundle. Got it home and plugged it in and started my way on the internet hiway... true it was slo and yahoo was the big thing going ...... then I learned of NAPSTER!!!!!!!!!!! I was in heaven.... music on demand ...... happy as hell to see a d/l of 5 or 10 kb/s .. poopin the pants on a 20 + ..... all I could think...... this is fast as all hell then after all of these years and 3 or 4 different pc's and 2 laplops later all I do is comlain that the d/l is slower than 90 kb/s while trying to do 5 of them and running 5 to 7 other programs with it am i tryin to do too much at one time?? Probably but it's there ..... but then I think of what Smitty would say........ Miheal Edward... (he always called me that!!) How many hands do you have???...... Well 2 Grandpa why?? Well if you only have 2 and you only have 2 feet right? Yes grandpa.... Well that only makes 4 usable limbs Micheal.... So my question to you is with all of your l

Old People
Today I went yard saleing like I do most saturdays. After a long day since about seven thirty this morning..on the way home..kids spotted another yard sale so I stopped. My youngest who just turned three on september 11 saw some toys and it was a little happy meal toy and asked for a quarter so I told him to go get one out of my purse in the van..so he toddles on over there to get one. I didnt know how much the toy was but he wanted a quarter and was pleased that I said he could go get one. Now he was in the van with my daughter getting the quarter..I asked the OLD WOMAN at the yard sale how much and she said..well he can have it for free..then proceeded to say..I was just gonna say..You really need to teach him not to just run off with a toy..before asking how much because you are encouraging him to steal!!! OMG!! This woman didnt realize who she was talking to!! I walked away from her got the toy told my daughter to put Ben in his car seat took the toy back to where he got it from..

Old Poem
I question myself, why do I live I have nothing to offer I have nothing to give Nobody cares whether I live or I die And nobody comforts me when I begin to cry I have no true value and nothing of worth My life has been cursed since the day of my birth So I sit in remorse and throw curses at my name I thought it would be different but everyday is the same So one last question before grabbing this knife Should I end all my suffering and take my own life?

Old Photographs
> I went through all our old photographs memories made over thirteen years Pictures worth a million words that bring my soul to tears. I study each one carefully replaying the memories in my mind looking for clues of what the future would hold and the heartache it would leave behind Smiling children, visiting new places a canoe trip, a wedding, the park How could we have known that summer day at the Lake how quickly our bright lives would turn dark Birthday smiles and Christmas mornings Putt Putt golf and a day at the beach So carefree and not knowing how soon happiness would be out of our reach Our passage through life captured on paper If not for the photos would soon disappear Fade out of our minds like the love in our hearts bittersweetly remembered through the years.

The Old Paths
THE OLD PATHS I liked the old paths, when Moms were at home. Dads were at work. Brothers went into the army. And sisters got married BEFORE having children! Crime did not pay; Hard work did; And people knew the difference. Moms could cook; Dads would work; Children would behave. Husbands were loving; Wives were supportive; And children were polite. Women wore the jewelry; And Men wore the pants. Women looked like ladies; Men looked like gentlemen; And children looked decent. People loved the truth, And hated a lie; They came to church to get IN, Not to get OUT! Hymns sounded Godl y; Sermons sounded helpful; Rejoicing sounded normal; And crying sounded sincere. Cursing was wicked; Drugs were for illness; And divorce was unthinkable. The flag was honored; America was beautiful; And God was welcome! We read the Bible in public; Prayed in school;

Old People
Old People I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye... "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

An Old Poem
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 A poem called broken angel Current mood: artistic whisping winds glide past my skin. I turn to see who's there and theres nothing but a shadow of my reflection. A lake of tears filled with sorrow and redemption lye just up the hill of desperation for hapiness.I feel water fall from my eyes filled with pain i can no longer hide. What use to be a walk through hell to find out now only takes i glance to realize, to realize i am hurting. Falling apart like an angel who has lost her way, i know not which way to turn. Drained of energy from trying to shield her heart, which is a failling mission, she crys. Not having anyone to open up to, because she refuses to let her gaurd down, the broken angel comes to a realization that she must pick herself up and regain her right to soar above the pitty of this world, but how do u begin to heal what is constantly being betrayed, broken, and destroyed, her heart. Knowing that for a while she will be lost. but wha

Old Pics Of Santa Lee . . . In Christmas Thong . . . Hohoho
..... Full Size Pictures are in Fubar . . . . Add to Family to see . . . lol. Merry Christmas . . . I hope to place newer pictures . . . of me in the Santa outfits . . . when I have a chance to scan them, or take new ones. http://www.fubar.com/join.php?friend=1374076

Old Poem.."life Is Like A Rose"
A lovely rose with petals soft A scent so sweet and light So beautiful a flower With colors shining bright. But something not so savory About the fragrant rose - The thorns, so sharp upon the stem, That sharpen as it grows. Yet still lovely is the flower Despite the thorns that prick Just as life and love are sweet They too have thorns that stick. But do not fear to live or love, Life's not exempt from pain - So pick a rose, you may get hurt, But you will also gain!

Old People
Old People I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

Old Poem
The Metaphor of Rain From the glass barrier, water drops hit the outside and somehow seem to touch my cheek Sliding down, and down... growing bigger 'til each drop falls to the ground to slide down the long green blades of grass. From the bars of the window pane I am only a character in some bigger play and each drop, drip...drip... only takes one more second to watch one more second from my life when it captures my eyes and I slide to the ground and on to act two where I stare from the glass... again. There's a reason~ I long to be that reason why you walk slowly in the rain while everyone else runs your hair matted down, taste of hair-spray in your mouth leather coat~ covered in memories of drip...drip... Maybe if I was the rain, Oh, I'd love to be the rain to touch the soft locks of hair to rest upon your porcelain skin and feel your fingertips when you brush me away Oh, I'd

Old Photographs
Last night I was going through an album of old photographs and saw a picture of the boy who used to deliver my newspaper when I was first married. It was a picture of his high school graduation. I smiled as remember the handsome young man and how I had taught him about women. You see my husband was in the army serving his first tour in Viet Nam. I had just turned twenty-three with a new baby and living in base housing at Fort Devins in Ayer Massachusetts. Brent had just turned 18 and lived just down the street. His dad was also overseas in the same battalion as my husband. Brent was a great kid who I could always count on him to make me smile. He would come around every Saturday morning to collect for the newspaper and often ran errands to the PX for me. One particularly cold Saturday I invited him into my apartment for hot chocolate and it became sort of a ritual for us after that. We would sit and talk. He would play with the baby and tell me what was going on in his life. It was

Old People
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! "Y

A Old Poem
the first time i looked in your eyes i knew you were the one your eyes told a story the story of your bleeding heart searching for the love of your life the first touch made me feel as if i was the only one on this earth your kiss made a everlasting bond that will never end i am the one who is destined for you I have waited for you so long now your here and I get weak at the sight of you I will always be there to take care of you my love is everlasting and it will belong to you for eternity

An Old Poem
Depressed? Then Die! I sit here and think,why am I alive? Why aren't I dead? What is my purpose in life? Can't find an answer. My emotions take over. Anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, jealousy. I pick up a knife and strike it across my wrist. 1, 2, 3 times. Blood oozing out the deep wounds on my wrist and in my soul. There is a scream, then silence. As I lay there bleeding on the floor, I am no longer overcome by theses emotions.

An Old Poem
I sit here and think, why am I alive? why aren't I dead? What is my purpose in life? Can't find an answer. My emotions take over. Anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, jealousy. I pick up a knife and strike it across my wrist. 1, 2, 3 times. Blood oozing out the wounds on my wrist and in my deep, dark soul. There is a scream, then silence. As I lay there bleeding on the floor, I am no longer overcome by these emotions.

Old Person's Bus Pass
I was on the bus today and I couldn't help but notice there was a big advertisement / poster type thing up. It was from Oxfordshire County Council I think and it stated in big friendly lettering: "If you are 60 years old after 1st April 2008 then you are entitled to an old age concessionary bus pass." So I was thinking that surely I fit into this category as I will be 60 AFTER 1st April 2008. I'm going to put in my application in the morning... Discounted public transport here I come!

Old People Of Movieland
There's something weird that I do... I haven't always done this although it has been going on several years now. I just can't decide if it's "dude, wtf?" weird or if it's just slightly eyebrow-raisingly odd. If ever I'm watching a movie which is more than a few years old then I'm sitting there wondering which of the cast members are still alive and which are dead... and if they are dead then what happened, etc, etc. Obviously if it's someone really famous then I sometimes know, but with most actors/actresses then I tend not to. Often this kind of pondering is nearly enough to distract me from the movie. When the movie finishes then I go straight to imdb.com to get the lowdown on each actor's current status. If feels almost like an obsession. A prime example is when I was watching Coccoon a couple of weeks ago. That movie, of course, is just filled with old people and it was made more than twenty years ago, so I just had to know if any of them from the old folks home were still

Old People Have Problems
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained. 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.' The doctor was s

Old Poem I Wrote
It's an old standby to write a poem on a blog. It's for a good reason. Poems are a good way of freezing a moment in time and letting you examine it later. Sometimes. Here's one: Bitter Like bile coming up burning your throat comes the realization that you have been deceived. A perspective held, shattered A truth found, glaring Laughter, is what you finally hear Because your ears have been forced open. derision is what you mistook as friendship and fondness. Easy pickings naivete personified Bald face lies revealed The rose colored hue ripped away To show the stark black and white For what it truly is.

Old Pictures
I was digging around looking for a certain picture in some boxes of old photos. Found some interesting stuff in there. Does anyone want me to post pictures of me running around an international airport in a full ballerina outfit, tutu included, looking for my clothes? Fun story associated with the incident that I'll expand on if anyone says "show 'em to me."

Old People Rock!! Lol. Wal-mart Application
This was too cute not to share. It's funny, I had received this in an email. Wal Mart Applicant revealed... Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Old Poems Tht I Wrote
Regret Darkness envelops my heart like a moonless night. Don't know where to start to make things right. I said some things that shouldn't have been said. My soul, it screams, wishing it were dead. Your smile, a star shine, sent from up above. Would you still be mine, the one that I love. My Life My life is slowly coming to an end What am I suppose to do? How must I stop and defend? My life coming to a quick end I am only seventeen years old don't You think I am too young to die And I don't want to cry bercause I know i am going to die This World This world has people like me and you! But why does it seem like there is a few? This world is full of hate! What happened to all the faith? This world has to many enemies! What the Hell happened to being friends? This world has to little PEACE! What happened to great big feasts? This world has to much war! So what the Hell are we fighting for? This world use to be a great place to be! But what h

Old Peom
Just a simple poem. I always imagin your jental touch I hear the laughter I see the emptyness within your heart I wish you could see the love in my eyes Of all those nights I sat and cried You have brightend up the skys in my clouded world My heart is breaking cuz I don't know how to get to your heart Jst look at me im standing here Just call out my name and I'll be there I'll stay hopeful you'll one day feel the same But till that day I will wait and stay this way

Old Profile
DID YOU KNOW THAT ONLY COWARDS BLOCK? HOW DOES IT TASTE HAVING MY NAME IN YOUR MOUTH BITCHES? YOU MAD HUNGH? YOU PISSED OFF HUNGH? YOU CANT TAKE IT HUNGH? TO ALL MY HATERZ KEEP SUPPORTING ME MAN AS LONG AS YALL ARE BEHIND ILL KEEP WRITING SHIT TO MAKE YOU DANCE I HIT IT OFF LIKE A BAD SHAKER SHAKER WHAT YOU CALL A BITCH THAT WHINES MY MAN I SAID YOU CALL THAT BITCH A FUCKIN PUSSY IN A CAN. WHAT YOU CALL A BITCH THAT WHINES MY MAN I SAID YOU CALL THAT BITCH A FUCKIN PUSSY IN A CAN. DONT START NO SHIT IT WONT BE NO SHIT! ITS NICE TO HEAR YA HOLLA AT ME I LIKE THAT TAKE THE BLOCK OFF YA PAGE WHERE YOUR NUTS AT? OH AND SOME FAT HEFFER GOT MY PAGE SMELLIN LIKE FISH AND CHEETOS! I do not talk shit to anyone unless you drew the first blood! so if you wanna bang this shit out in digits then by all means keep me entertained! or you can do this like a punk and punk it out lol listen here you fat man you vicious ass peace of jelly im gonna drive you off the str

An Old Poem I Wrote *dead To Me*
I woke up and realized you were gone, No where could i find you, No where, You were just lost. Gone from me, You found some new places to be. All I can think, Youre dead to me. I cant think you left me, I cant think you would do that to me. Youre dead I had your funeral and everything. Maybe I did, alter reality, just a bit. It didnt hurt as bad, who gives a shit? Celebrate your life, kill me too if need be, You will always be,... dead to me.

Old Ppl Driveing
ok i was in ks but got a phone call to drive to fl. to start a new job. so i packed up a few thing and hit the road. now half way there some old hag hit me doing 80,mhp in a 60 .and it fucked me and my 2008 toyota up really bad. i have 4 broken ribs ,broken nose,and 12 staples in the back of my head for all the glass from sunroof. will be stuck in hopst. 2 to 6 weeks. old ppl should not be out driveing the roads.

Old Poem Of Mine I Found
Is there some one out there; Is there no one out there; Can some one help me, I need it truely; Can you hear me, I scream so loudly; Why can't you hear me, I need you surely; Has my voise been lost in the wind; I have fallen off the end of the ledge; Now I am holding on to the edge; I am slipping and fallen and I cant pull myself up; Is there some one out there; Is there no one out there; Please come help me; Why can't you see me; You stand right before me, you stair right at me; Why won't you help you stair right though me; I got lost on my path; I have lost sight along the way; It has been growing dark and lerey as time passes me by; the light has left me and the darkest of the dark has joined me; Your staire is deadly but can you help; I ask, I beg of you give me the chance; I merely got llost along the way; I want to live I need to live; Yes my heart and soul are truely tanted; Leave me be I shall raise and f

Old Poem I On And Off This Way.
What can I say what can I do I guess I am what they call a hopeless foul. I don’t know what I want I don’t know what I need but there something that I feed upon.That use to be so strong its getting weaker my fix isn’t as easy as it use to be . It doesn’t give me the same high.The more I get the more I crave I cant get enoughBut the want is seeming to get less and less. But the want for the high still doesn’t dieI wish I knew how to stay satisfiedThis smile is fading and I am starting to get jaded and the rage an pain sometimes gets to be too much I feel like I might loss touch.Wishing I was numb wishing I could escape this pain its like a cut that wont heal. Energy I can not deplete I get no fucking sleep my mind is simply starting to work off bleeps.

Old Poem I Wrote
This is a poem I found in my juournal from about 3 or 4 years ago I hope you like. It's kinda old so be gentle lol. Before you I was unspoken, Before you my heart was broken. With a broken heart and a broken spirit it was very heard for me to let you near it. Scared of what people might say or what they might do, now all I want is to be with you. You unbroke my heart and raised my spirit now that you are near I have nothing to fear

An Old Poem Of Mine That I Found
Life is Short Life is Fleeting Life is forever in demand, but forevermore in short supply Life is not granted Life is not easy Life is not a joke, but laughing will make your life so much better Life is tragic Life is free Life is sad Life is depressing life is color, heritage, and species-blind Life does what it wants to Life gives you signs....follow them

A Old Poem At A Low Time.
ok I wrote this at a very LOW time in my life, while i no longer feel this way, its amazing to write such words when you feel like your world has fell apart. abstract thoughts The little girl cries lonely and screaming fighting and weeping hurt rushes through her veins cold cold heroin pulsating in her ears consumed by the hatred instilled upon her innocence has been lost dysfunctional beings we have become who is to say whats wrong whats right soulless creatures come to steal yourun through your body feeling its energy pulling pulling away from the dark light wants to shine cannot see what is behind This is not the life she wants the endless control pain this is not the life she wants mirrors surround the shadows lurking creatures hunching and crawling grabbing for its prey run little girl run she cant caught Pulled down into the depths the endless black hole long black strands of hair frantically blowing This is not the life she wants the endless control pain this is not the lif

An Old Post, But One I Like..
Yet another entry for one day. This one on a more...shall we say. Unique twist. It’s been almost two months since I've been in NJ. I'm rather happy about that. What I left behind was nothing but high school carried on into the outside. What I gained, was a new appreciation for what people really are. It's not bad, for I believe that people are all generally good inside. I honestly have faith in the whole of mankind. What I understand now as opposed to the Jersey years, is that everyone lives by their own set of moral codes. Not always do these codes mesh well with others and often they do not mesh well with themselves either. In fact most of them are pre-conceived notions that, for some reason unknown to me, are held on to. My personal favorite of these is "bro's before Ho's". (I oh so despise such flawed and pointless concepts) But others share in the common deceit these catch phrases elicit. Such one liners as: "Honesty is the best policy" - Tell this to

Old Post Edit This Is A X Im Not In Love With Him Any Longer Thank God
My Wish (Rascal Flatts) Lyric Video from cedarcreek.tv production on Vimeo. I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow, And each road leads you where you want to go, And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window, If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile, More then anything, more then anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it, To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more then you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish. I hope you never look back, but ya never forget, All the ones who love you, in the place you left, I hope you always forgive, and you never regret, And you help somebody every chance you get,

Old Prospector
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still

Old Perverts
These old perverts on here are so sad. and what is it with them wanting you to watch them jerk off on camera? fuckin sick in the head is what they are. they need to get some help before they wind up as a suspect story on Law n Order SVU. like for real.

Old Punk Rock Lessons!!
Ok, this is a test. If you're as old or older than me, grew up in the WNY/Southern Ontario Scene in the 80's, then you should know all about what I'm about to post and the mad man behind the tumblr blog. If not, then you're probably on my friends list just to look cool. If you don't know about Jamie Problem, Barney Rebel, or Gary Indiana, and you've never put a band aid across the bridge of your nose and you know nothing about Drunk Core, then educate yourself people. Really! Learn to find the location of Dunnville, Ontario on a map! http://problemchildrenmusic.tumblr.com/

Old Poems
My Everything There is something in the air, Something I can feel, That makes me believe, That this love is real, A power from somewhere, That lets me know, Once again in my life, My love can show , When i hear your voice When i see your face, ,It warms my heart, Like a warm embrace, You are my sunshie, My reason to breathe, Th eyes to my soul, Everything to me, Without you in my life, I don't know where i would be, You bring me joy, When your smile i see, You give me reason to wake, Each and every morn, Everytime you leave, My heart is torn, But when you return, My joy is refreshed, And I know it is true, You are the best, For the rest of my life, I will be by your side, I will never hurt you, And never make you cry.

Old Penis
Old Penis Poem My nookie days are overMy pilot light is outWhat used to be my sex appealIs now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accordFrom my trousers it would springBut now I've got a full-time jobTo find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassingThe way it would behaveFor every single morningIt would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approachesIt sure gives me the bluesTo see it hang its little headAnd watch me tie my shoes